The sun rose on the beanfield

[venta]

The ladies' toilets here have had some kind of plumbing disaster. Sysadmin #1 (he gets all the good jobs) has done preliminary investigation, and determined the cause, and is trying to locate a plumber.

How'm I going to explain to a plumber that it's very important that s/he doesn't disturb Dr Smith's home behind the U-bend ?

There was concern earlier in the week that Dr Jones had vanished, and his web been taken over by a new spider, as yet unnamed. However, he seemed to be back yesterday. onebyone suggested the little unnamed spider was websitting.

Comments

[cardinalsin.livejournal.com]

Say "you mustn't go behind the U-bend", and refuse to explain why.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_corpse_/]

And if he (default assumption... check!) does ask why, then just look embarrassed and say: "You know... women's troubles."

[venta.livejournal.com]

This may be tricky - the 'wall' behind the U-bend is actually some boarding which boxes off ths cistern. I suspect it will have to be removed entirely for any plumbing to take place.

:(

[cardinalsin.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... it must be possible for him to come at it from a different direction (i.e. by knocking in the wall on the other side). You'll have to insist that he does this.

Alternatively you can interview potential plumbers and ask as part of the recruitment process what they would do in the situation that an innocent spider's web was in the way of their work. Only hire individuals who come up with a solution other than "Are you mad? I'd just sweep it out of the way!"

[venta.livejournal.com]

It's worse than that: I'm off on holiday from tomorrow, and thus won't be able to intervene and ensure the hiring of a suitably humane plumber. I also fear that, even were I present, in these times of economic setbacks and plumber shortages, my voice might not be heard.

[cardinalsin.livejournal.com]

You'll have to arrange for a spider extraction squad.

[condign.livejournal.com]

I'm now seeing a Children's Book:

Ms. Venta and the Spiders of NiHM...

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

(i.e. by knocking in the wall on the other side)

The reason we need a plumber is that the wall on the other side is falling apart, so this might just work.

[cardinalsin.livejournal.com]

I don't understand: Are bits of brickwork falling into the cistern? The toilets have been broken for ages, and the only thing holding the tide of effluence in is the walls? How can these two be connected?

[venta.livejournal.com]

Apparently the toilet's cistern has been gently overflowing into the wall for some time - as a result the walls have got thoroughly damp and unhappy, and their tiles have been falling off on both mine and Onebyone's sides of the wall.

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

I don't believe all this cistern nonsense. I reckon onebyone's been seeing how high up the wall he could wee !

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

Given that there's also a ceiling tile missing above the hole in the wall, the answer must be "pretty bloody far".