The sun rose on the beanfield

[venta]

The ladies' toilets here have had some kind of plumbing disaster. Sysadmin #1 (he gets all the good jobs) has done preliminary investigation, and determined the cause, and is trying to locate a plumber.

How'm I going to explain to a plumber that it's very important that s/he doesn't disturb Dr Smith's home behind the U-bend ?

There was concern earlier in the week that Dr Jones had vanished, and his web been taken over by a new spider, as yet unnamed. However, he seemed to be back yesterday. onebyone suggested the little unnamed spider was websitting.

Comments

[wimble.livejournal.com]

Ask him not to disturb your pet spider?

[cardinalsin.livejournal.com]

Say "you mustn't go behind the U-bend", and refuse to explain why.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_corpse_/]

And if he (default assumption... check!) does ask why, then just look embarrassed and say: "You know... women's troubles."

[stegzy.livejournal.com]

Hang a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the wall behind the Ubend

[venta.livejournal.com]

This may be tricky - the 'wall' behind the U-bend is actually some boarding which boxes off ths cistern. I suspect it will have to be removed entirely for any plumbing to take place.

:(

[http://users.livejournal.com/elle_/]

I'm not naturally inclined in favour of spiders but this saga is really starting to tug at my heartstrings!

[cardinalsin.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... it must be possible for him to come at it from a different direction (i.e. by knocking in the wall on the other side). You'll have to insist that he does this.

Alternatively you can interview potential plumbers and ask as part of the recruitment process what they would do in the situation that an innocent spider's web was in the way of their work. Only hire individuals who come up with a solution other than "Are you mad? I'd just sweep it out of the way!"

[venta.livejournal.com]

It's worse than that: I'm off on holiday from tomorrow, and thus won't be able to intervene and ensure the hiring of a suitably humane plumber. I also fear that, even were I present, in these times of economic setbacks and plumber shortages, my voice might not be heard.

[cardinalsin.livejournal.com]

You'll have to arrange for a spider extraction squad.

[cardinalsin.livejournal.com]

By the way, I was just wondering: Do you come up with the lyrical titles to your posts before you write them, or after? Do you find it easy, or do you sometimes think "urgh, can't think of a lyric"? Is there always some connection between the lyrics you select and the content of the post?

I think if I tried to do this every time I wrote a post, it would have a similar effect to the naming of NPCs. You know, when you write the background, history, personality, appearance, and so on - but can't come up with a good/appropriate name?

[venta.livejournal.com]

Do you come up with the lyrical titles to your posts before you write them, or after?

A mixture. I remember humming Battle of the Beanfield a while back, and musing that it might be relevant if I found one day that the cleaner had hoovered up the Spiders' homes.

Often it's a case of writing the post then racking my brains for a lyric. Very occasionally I resort to google, but that always feels like cheating. Sometimes there's no connection - this morning's post about Lou Reed had as its title an Apollo 440 lyric that was irrelevant, but happened to go past on my headphones as I was typing.

I actually don't regard myself as all that good at lyric selection - a friend of mine habitually uses lyrics as email subject lines, and quite often I'm jealous of his ability to find very apt lines.

Maybe I should include a "did you get it?" checkbox every time the lyric is relevant to the post it titles :)

it would have a similar effect to the naming of NPCs.

I'm actually not familiar with this idea - I've never uderstood why people think naming characters is so tricky. I acted as NPC-name-generator in one campaign I played in: the GM hated thinking up names, so often told us about the NPC and let me suggest a name.

[cardinalsin.livejournal.com]

I've had less trouble naming NPCs recently, I think. But I've come to a stage where I don't go for names that are extremely outlandish - I tend to go for real-life-sounding names more often than not.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Please note I never said I was good at naming things, merely prolific :)

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

(i.e. by knocking in the wall on the other side)

The reason we need a plumber is that the wall on the other side is falling apart, so this might just work.

[cardinalsin.livejournal.com]

Hah! You should see some of the names I have come up with for gods...

[cardinalsin.livejournal.com]

I don't understand: Are bits of brickwork falling into the cistern? The toilets have been broken for ages, and the only thing holding the tide of effluence in is the walls? How can these two be connected?

[venta.livejournal.com]

Apparently the toilet's cistern has been gently overflowing into the wall for some time - as a result the walls have got thoroughly damp and unhappy, and their tiles have been falling off on both mine and Onebyone's sides of the wall.

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

I don't believe all this cistern nonsense. I reckon onebyone's been seeing how high up the wall he could wee !

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

Given that there's also a ceiling tile missing above the hole in the wall, the answer must be "pretty bloody far".

[triskellian]

You've got to be better than the combined might of me and secretrebel - I'm terrible at coming up with names in general (and can't do surnames at all), and she degenerates to calling them things like 'Brick' after a while ;-)

[condign.livejournal.com]

I'm now seeing a Children's Book:

Ms. Venta and the Spiders of NiHM...

[(Anonymous)]

Magick Native American -
The shape of the spider and the number of its legs both show the number "eight," which represents infinity. The spider embodies the unlimited number of possibilities within creation. Doubling the number "four" indicates both the four winds and the four cardinal points.
The spider instructs us to accept responsibility for anything that happens in our lives. We weave the web of our destiny. The victims who become caught in the web have not yet understood this lesson and have become entangled in a reality that appears to be unchangeable.
The spider teaches that each being is responsible for its own plan of life. It is important not to lose oneself in deceptions of the senses, and it is helpful to write down one's progress to remember how certain strategies have led to success. The spider also stands for the development of writing.

OR

Spider medicine is the medicine of the master weaver. Spider wove the alphabet, and brought the ability for man to communicate, and record their history through language. It is through Spiders weaving that the creative forces bring forth the beautiful intricate patterns of our lives. Spider medicine reminds us that it is not ourselves, but the Universe which has the design for the fabric of our lives.
Spider: Creative, pattern of life. Spider connects the past with the future, creating possibilities.

Celtic -
Although Spiders have a long association with such deities as Athena, the Norns, Holda, and Spider Woman, most people are uncomfortable working with these creatures, even on the astral level. One must not have ambiguous goals in mind when working with Spider energy. This insect can teach how to untangle yourself from a negative situation, as well as making new beginnings, finding wisdom, and starting a new life.

Thought that might be of interest.

[venta.livejournal.com]

It is of interest. Thanks. I didn't know Spiders had much place in mythology or magic.

Do you want to tell me who you are, Mystery Guest ?

[ebee.livejournal.com]

Uh..ok..I'm ebee - But the title 'Mystery Guest' is far more exciting.. :-)
I found you on LJ a while back as we had a few LJ friends and interests in common and then discovered we have a 'mutual friend' as well.

Small world an' all...