My Name...

[venta]

Swiped off nevla's journal:

What does your name mean?

Elizabeth - literal meaning "That'll Never Live".


Literal meaning
"That'll never live."

History
Seen written in fiery letters across the boiling clouds of an angrily crimson night sky by a drunken tramp around 11am, the name Elizabeth was originally used loosely to refer to nuns and the violators of nuns, before evil spread across the land like some big evil butter.

Famous Elizabeths
1. Elizabeth Nivea ("The Uncanny"), named in court as holding compromising material concerning the monkey cartilage gear system;
2. Elizabeth O'Lilly Li, reputedly trapped for eight days under a fallen monument to the self-propelled gardener; ghost-writer of Yootha Joyce's expressionist autobiography, FEAR MY MOP; last holder of the office of King's Bath Taster;
3. Elizabeth Tinkermouse, early user of the world's sturdiest box;
4. Inspector Elizabeth Staplegun ("The Pale"), champion of Tramp Drink; ghost-writer of Anne Boleyn's offensively illustrated autobiography, REMINISCING FROM MY DEATHBED;
5. Elizabeth V Nightdodge, MSc, fascinated to death by edible bark; first holder of the office of Emeritus Professor of Prophecy Professing, Oxford;
6. I Am Elizabeth Mapduster, once saved by the methods of Judge Dredd; ghost-writer of Alastair Sim's shatteringly political autobiography, READ MY STORY IN THIS BOOK;
7. Elizabeth I Oaf, co-habitee of twenty-seven people associated with the world's most attractive bucket; ghost-writer of Mr Grimsdale's litany of crimes autobiography, SOMEBODY PUNCH MY FACE - I MUST BE DREAMING;
8. Elizabeth de Trabmaw ("The Blue"), who discovered more types of bacterial infection than any twenty-eight people can name;
9. Elizabeth Orbiting, exposed in the press as having swapped a child for the world's most popular cosh;
10. Elizabeth d'Endeavour, champion of the right to use the early career of Roy Clarke; ghost-writer of Charles Hawtrey's heavily censored autobiography, THE MAGIC OF ME.

Typical Elizabeth motto
"A guilty conscience is like a crippling gloom: both cause crippling gloom."

Comments

[condign.livejournal.com]

Heh--how appropriate!

Tony

Literal meaning
"Cherry blossom falls; the wind sighs its brave respect; a mouse sings of woe."

History
Brought into being by atmospheric disturbance in a rush, the name Tony was originally used ineffectually to refer to unsettlingly enthusiastic night soil collectors, before being pulled from a fire that killed its variants and diminutives.

Famous Tonys
1. Judge Tony S Boonk-Millington, PhD, champion of more types of bacterial infection than any eight people can name;
2. I Am Tony Frewsy, fascinated to death by stout boots; first holder of the casually perilous office of High Scowler;
3. "Terrible" Tony Dufallily, exposed in the press as having swapped a child for between nine and fifteen scientific principles;
4. Tony Smmith-Sponetote, MD, who lost a fortune on some thing or other; ghost-writer of The St Winifred's School Choir's litany of crimes autobiography, SUDDENLY I'M LITERATE;
5. Tony L Staplegun, first victim of the self-aware vacuum cleaner;
6. Professor Tony Sprokes, belittler of Explode-O, the wonder bang dismantler;
7. Tony Dindymene ("The Terrible"), who's never forgotten mottled glass;
8. Doctor Tony A Ach, named in court as holding compromising material concerning a creature from the id; ghost-writer of Peter Lawford's generally tolerated autobiography, HEY HEY HEY! IT'S MY BOOK!;
9. Tony Mapduster-Happenstance, populariser of the hovering cinema; ghost-writer of Clive Dunn's papally banned autobiography, WONDERFUL TIMES, SELECTIVELY REMEMBERED;
10. Tony Macaulay, disgusted by the world's most popular cosh; ghost-writer of Lindsay Anderson's agonisingly graphic autobiography, REMINISCING FROM MY DEATHBED; first holder of the office of Emeritus Professor of Prophecy Professing, Oxford.

[wimble.livejournal.com]

Yup, that seems about right.


Literal meaning
"For another ten I'll throw the child in too."

History
The sole sound that could be made by a mysterious blank-faced man found wandering the streets of Paris exactly three hundred years ago next week, the name Thomas was originally used charmingly to refer to a breed of goose, before reinventing itself after an unfortunate court case.

Famous Thomases

1. Thomas Endeavour, who owes everything to demanding money with menaces;
   
2. Thomas Frewsy, channeller under supernatural influences of the concept of acceptable losses;
   
3. Thomas Frote, belittler of the hovering cinema;
   
4. Thomas Smmith, champion of the lost consonant of Atlatis; ghost-writer of George Sanders's leatherwear catalogue and autobiography, THERE'S SOME PHOTOS IN THE MIDDLE;
   
5. Brigadier-General Thomas Cangoose-Thews ("The Blue"), who discovered paroxysms of fright;
   
6. Inspector Thomas L Millington-Sponetote, MSc, indifferent to mottled glass;
   
7. Chief Scientist Thomas Tube-Toot, aroused by between nine and fifteen scientific principles; last holder of the office of London and Home Counties Chief Dawdler;
   
8. "Terrible" Thomas H O'Proms, champion of the right to use the Brass Nose;
   
9. Thomas Ach, first victim of the paper aeroplane;
   
10. Thomas Macaulay ("The Mighty"), early user of Explode-O, the wonder bang dismantler.
    

Typical Thomas motto
"Hahaha! That was funny."

Glyn:

[failmaster.livejournal.com]

Literal meaning

"Shall never be called on to join a student band."


History

Adapted from British boarding school slang used to signify the new pupil marked out for ritual burning in a fit of terror, the name Glyn was originally used indulgently to refer to those who worked in the hills building things out of hills, before being purchased for the Nation at Sotheby's.


Famous Glyns

1. Glyn S Nootlooter, populariser of unspeakable guilt;
2. Glyn K de la Cangoose, disgusted by mottled glass;
3. Glyn Itching ("The Terrible"), haunted by an image of a slightly famous TV chef whom they saw looking at cardigans in Woolworth's one time; last holder of the office of Her Majesty's Punchbag;
4. Glyn du Happenstance, for a time, in their own mind, romantically linked with the world's seventh highest-rated episode of Mr Pastry;
5. Glyn Sponetote-Millington ("The Pale"), champion of Sock 'n' Roll;
6. Glyn Quoits, indifferent to Britain's standards; ghost-writer of Yootha Joyce's leatherwear catalogue and autobiography, DOCTOR! THE FORCEPS!; first holder of the office of Hot Diggity;
7. Doctor Glyn Proms ("The Uncanny"), of the generation which fondly remembers edible bark; first holder of the short-lived office of Official Kerb-Trip-Overer;
8. Glyn Macaulay, MSc ("The Thing"), fascinated to death by a creature from the id;
9. Glyn Tidecatcher, who discovered the legendary Source of the Thames; ghost-writer of George Sanders's compelling autobiography, HEY HEY HEY! IT'S MY BOOK!;
10. Brigadier-General Glyn Nivea, exposed in the press as having swapped a child for the quick-burning funeral boat.


Typical Glyn motto

"A guilty conscience is like a crippling gloom: both cause crippling gloom."

Re: Glyn:

[venta.livejournal.com]

"Shall never be called on to join a student band."

Oh dear. Doesn't that mean you've been chronically misnamed ?

[smiorgan.livejournal.com]

Literal meaning
"Not you again."

History
Illegal before being given amnesty in a rush, the name Ralph was originally used precisely to refer to warriors who died during drill practice, before being transported to Australia for its part in the "Christ, we're starving to death! - how about a bit of food; just if you can spare it, obviously, we don't want to put you out" Rebellion.

Famous Ralphs
1. Ralph Happenstance, haunted by an image of the world's seventh highest-rated episode of Mr Pastry;
2. Ralph V Tube, champion of the right to use quicklime dental cleanser;
3. Ralph W Endeavour, opponent of bungee-jumping;
4. Ralph Trabmaw, indifferent to stout boots;
5. Ralph Smmith, director of the new Bond movie, DEAD, BURIED, ARMED AND DANGEROUS;
6. Judge Ralph Oaf, who lost a fortune on the world's most attractive bucket; ghost-writer of Mr Grimsdale's agonisingly graphic autobiography, DOCTOR! THE FORCEPS!; first holder of the office of Emeritus Professor of Prophecy Professing, Oxford;
7. Ralph Dindymene ("The Terrible"), named in court as holding compromising material concerning the concept of acceptable losses;
8. Ralph d'Orbiting ("The Uncanny"), co-habitee of fourteen people associated with Paul McCartney's Wings;
9. Ralph Nootlooter-Oily ("The Celebrated Juggler"), belittler of the world's sturdiest box;
10. Ralph Itching, of the generation which fondly remembers the methods of Judge Dredd; first holder of the inevitably blasphemous office of Hot Diggity.

Typical Ralph motto
"Least said, Eva Mendes."

[beckyc.livejournal.com]

I don't like mine!

Becky - Literal meaning
"Christ, get that thing away from me."

History
Whispered in an empty room exactly three hundred years ago next week, the name Becky was originally used chiefly to refer to a famous sect of surly, pilfering domestic servants, before seeking its fortune on the sea.

Famous Beckys
1. Becky Dufallily, proponent of the world's seventh highest-rated episode of Mr Pastry;
2. Professor Becky A Jesus, director of the new Bond movie, FIRE AND MUD;
3. Becky Sponetote, opponent of those funny pirate hats; first holder of the office of Emeritus Professor of Prophecy Professing, Oxford;
4. "Terrible" Becky Y Tidecatcher, channeller under supernatural influences of Paul McCartney's Wings;
5. Becky Happenstance, champion of the right to use the Brass Nose; last holder of the office of Gross Miscarriager of Justice;
6. Becky H Endeavour-Nightdodge, co-habitee of thirteen people associated with the legendary Source of the Thames;
7. Becky E Nivea, who discovered Explode-O, the wonder bang dismantler;
8. Becky Macaulay, of the generation which fondly remembers the entertainment industry blacklist; ghost-writer of Joyce Grenfell's anarchist's handbook and autobiography, TOOT-A-TWANG-TWANG; first holder of the highly regarded office of Queen's Own Loan Shark;
9. Becky Itching ("The Reasonably Broadly Educated"), first victim of the indestructible tortoise; ghost-writer of Reg Parfitt's cousin's autobiography, FEAR MY MOP;
10. Doctor Becky Tube, who lost a fortune on the Formidable Coat.

Typical Becky motto
"Neither a woman nor a foreigner be."