My Name...

[venta]

Swiped off nevla's journal:

What does your name mean?

Elizabeth - literal meaning "That'll Never Live".


Literal meaning
"That'll never live."

History
Seen written in fiery letters across the boiling clouds of an angrily crimson night sky by a drunken tramp around 11am, the name Elizabeth was originally used loosely to refer to nuns and the violators of nuns, before evil spread across the land like some big evil butter.

Famous Elizabeths
1. Elizabeth Nivea ("The Uncanny"), named in court as holding compromising material concerning the monkey cartilage gear system;
2. Elizabeth O'Lilly Li, reputedly trapped for eight days under a fallen monument to the self-propelled gardener; ghost-writer of Yootha Joyce's expressionist autobiography, FEAR MY MOP; last holder of the office of King's Bath Taster;
3. Elizabeth Tinkermouse, early user of the world's sturdiest box;
4. Inspector Elizabeth Staplegun ("The Pale"), champion of Tramp Drink; ghost-writer of Anne Boleyn's offensively illustrated autobiography, REMINISCING FROM MY DEATHBED;
5. Elizabeth V Nightdodge, MSc, fascinated to death by edible bark; first holder of the office of Emeritus Professor of Prophecy Professing, Oxford;
6. I Am Elizabeth Mapduster, once saved by the methods of Judge Dredd; ghost-writer of Alastair Sim's shatteringly political autobiography, READ MY STORY IN THIS BOOK;
7. Elizabeth I Oaf, co-habitee of twenty-seven people associated with the world's most attractive bucket; ghost-writer of Mr Grimsdale's litany of crimes autobiography, SOMEBODY PUNCH MY FACE - I MUST BE DREAMING;
8. Elizabeth de Trabmaw ("The Blue"), who discovered more types of bacterial infection than any twenty-eight people can name;
9. Elizabeth Orbiting, exposed in the press as having swapped a child for the world's most popular cosh;
10. Elizabeth d'Endeavour, champion of the right to use the early career of Roy Clarke; ghost-writer of Charles Hawtrey's heavily censored autobiography, THE MAGIC OF ME.

Typical Elizabeth motto
"A guilty conscience is like a crippling gloom: both cause crippling gloom."

Comments

[condign.livejournal.com]

Heh--how appropriate!

Tony

Literal meaning
"Cherry blossom falls; the wind sighs its brave respect; a mouse sings of woe."

History
Brought into being by atmospheric disturbance in a rush, the name Tony was originally used ineffectually to refer to unsettlingly enthusiastic night soil collectors, before being pulled from a fire that killed its variants and diminutives.

Famous Tonys
1. Judge Tony S Boonk-Millington, PhD, champion of more types of bacterial infection than any eight people can name;
2. I Am Tony Frewsy, fascinated to death by stout boots; first holder of the casually perilous office of High Scowler;
3. "Terrible" Tony Dufallily, exposed in the press as having swapped a child for between nine and fifteen scientific principles;
4. Tony Smmith-Sponetote, MD, who lost a fortune on some thing or other; ghost-writer of The St Winifred's School Choir's litany of crimes autobiography, SUDDENLY I'M LITERATE;
5. Tony L Staplegun, first victim of the self-aware vacuum cleaner;
6. Professor Tony Sprokes, belittler of Explode-O, the wonder bang dismantler;
7. Tony Dindymene ("The Terrible"), who's never forgotten mottled glass;
8. Doctor Tony A Ach, named in court as holding compromising material concerning a creature from the id; ghost-writer of Peter Lawford's generally tolerated autobiography, HEY HEY HEY! IT'S MY BOOK!;
9. Tony Mapduster-Happenstance, populariser of the hovering cinema; ghost-writer of Clive Dunn's papally banned autobiography, WONDERFUL TIMES, SELECTIVELY REMEMBERED;
10. Tony Macaulay, disgusted by the world's most popular cosh; ghost-writer of Lindsay Anderson's agonisingly graphic autobiography, REMINISCING FROM MY DEATHBED; first holder of the office of Emeritus Professor of Prophecy Professing, Oxford.