My Name...

[venta]

Swiped off nevla's journal:

What does your name mean?

Elizabeth - literal meaning "That'll Never Live".


Literal meaning
"That'll never live."

History
Seen written in fiery letters across the boiling clouds of an angrily crimson night sky by a drunken tramp around 11am, the name Elizabeth was originally used loosely to refer to nuns and the violators of nuns, before evil spread across the land like some big evil butter.

Famous Elizabeths
1. Elizabeth Nivea ("The Uncanny"), named in court as holding compromising material concerning the monkey cartilage gear system;
2. Elizabeth O'Lilly Li, reputedly trapped for eight days under a fallen monument to the self-propelled gardener; ghost-writer of Yootha Joyce's expressionist autobiography, FEAR MY MOP; last holder of the office of King's Bath Taster;
3. Elizabeth Tinkermouse, early user of the world's sturdiest box;
4. Inspector Elizabeth Staplegun ("The Pale"), champion of Tramp Drink; ghost-writer of Anne Boleyn's offensively illustrated autobiography, REMINISCING FROM MY DEATHBED;
5. Elizabeth V Nightdodge, MSc, fascinated to death by edible bark; first holder of the office of Emeritus Professor of Prophecy Professing, Oxford;
6. I Am Elizabeth Mapduster, once saved by the methods of Judge Dredd; ghost-writer of Alastair Sim's shatteringly political autobiography, READ MY STORY IN THIS BOOK;
7. Elizabeth I Oaf, co-habitee of twenty-seven people associated with the world's most attractive bucket; ghost-writer of Mr Grimsdale's litany of crimes autobiography, SOMEBODY PUNCH MY FACE - I MUST BE DREAMING;
8. Elizabeth de Trabmaw ("The Blue"), who discovered more types of bacterial infection than any twenty-eight people can name;
9. Elizabeth Orbiting, exposed in the press as having swapped a child for the world's most popular cosh;
10. Elizabeth d'Endeavour, champion of the right to use the early career of Roy Clarke; ghost-writer of Charles Hawtrey's heavily censored autobiography, THE MAGIC OF ME.

Typical Elizabeth motto
"A guilty conscience is like a crippling gloom: both cause crippling gloom."

Comments

[wimble.livejournal.com]

Yup, that seems about right.


Literal meaning
"For another ten I'll throw the child in too."

History
The sole sound that could be made by a mysterious blank-faced man found wandering the streets of Paris exactly three hundred years ago next week, the name Thomas was originally used charmingly to refer to a breed of goose, before reinventing itself after an unfortunate court case.

Famous Thomases

1. Thomas Endeavour, who owes everything to demanding money with menaces;
   
2. Thomas Frewsy, channeller under supernatural influences of the concept of acceptable losses;
   
3. Thomas Frote, belittler of the hovering cinema;
   
4. Thomas Smmith, champion of the lost consonant of Atlatis; ghost-writer of George Sanders's leatherwear catalogue and autobiography, THERE'S SOME PHOTOS IN THE MIDDLE;
   
5. Brigadier-General Thomas Cangoose-Thews ("The Blue"), who discovered paroxysms of fright;
   
6. Inspector Thomas L Millington-Sponetote, MSc, indifferent to mottled glass;
   
7. Chief Scientist Thomas Tube-Toot, aroused by between nine and fifteen scientific principles; last holder of the office of London and Home Counties Chief Dawdler;
   
8. "Terrible" Thomas H O'Proms, champion of the right to use the Brass Nose;
   
9. Thomas Ach, first victim of the paper aeroplane;
   
10. Thomas Macaulay ("The Mighty"), early user of Explode-O, the wonder bang dismantler.
    

Typical Thomas motto
"Hahaha! That was funny."