My Name...

[venta]

Swiped off nevla's journal:

What does your name mean?

Elizabeth - literal meaning "That'll Never Live".


Literal meaning
"That'll never live."

History
Seen written in fiery letters across the boiling clouds of an angrily crimson night sky by a drunken tramp around 11am, the name Elizabeth was originally used loosely to refer to nuns and the violators of nuns, before evil spread across the land like some big evil butter.

Famous Elizabeths
1. Elizabeth Nivea ("The Uncanny"), named in court as holding compromising material concerning the monkey cartilage gear system;
2. Elizabeth O'Lilly Li, reputedly trapped for eight days under a fallen monument to the self-propelled gardener; ghost-writer of Yootha Joyce's expressionist autobiography, FEAR MY MOP; last holder of the office of King's Bath Taster;
3. Elizabeth Tinkermouse, early user of the world's sturdiest box;
4. Inspector Elizabeth Staplegun ("The Pale"), champion of Tramp Drink; ghost-writer of Anne Boleyn's offensively illustrated autobiography, REMINISCING FROM MY DEATHBED;
5. Elizabeth V Nightdodge, MSc, fascinated to death by edible bark; first holder of the office of Emeritus Professor of Prophecy Professing, Oxford;
6. I Am Elizabeth Mapduster, once saved by the methods of Judge Dredd; ghost-writer of Alastair Sim's shatteringly political autobiography, READ MY STORY IN THIS BOOK;
7. Elizabeth I Oaf, co-habitee of twenty-seven people associated with the world's most attractive bucket; ghost-writer of Mr Grimsdale's litany of crimes autobiography, SOMEBODY PUNCH MY FACE - I MUST BE DREAMING;
8. Elizabeth de Trabmaw ("The Blue"), who discovered more types of bacterial infection than any twenty-eight people can name;
9. Elizabeth Orbiting, exposed in the press as having swapped a child for the world's most popular cosh;
10. Elizabeth d'Endeavour, champion of the right to use the early career of Roy Clarke; ghost-writer of Charles Hawtrey's heavily censored autobiography, THE MAGIC OF ME.

Typical Elizabeth motto
"A guilty conscience is like a crippling gloom: both cause crippling gloom."

Comments

Glyn:

[failmaster.livejournal.com]

Literal meaning

"Shall never be called on to join a student band."


History

Adapted from British boarding school slang used to signify the new pupil marked out for ritual burning in a fit of terror, the name Glyn was originally used indulgently to refer to those who worked in the hills building things out of hills, before being purchased for the Nation at Sotheby's.


Famous Glyns

1. Glyn S Nootlooter, populariser of unspeakable guilt;
2. Glyn K de la Cangoose, disgusted by mottled glass;
3. Glyn Itching ("The Terrible"), haunted by an image of a slightly famous TV chef whom they saw looking at cardigans in Woolworth's one time; last holder of the office of Her Majesty's Punchbag;
4. Glyn du Happenstance, for a time, in their own mind, romantically linked with the world's seventh highest-rated episode of Mr Pastry;
5. Glyn Sponetote-Millington ("The Pale"), champion of Sock 'n' Roll;
6. Glyn Quoits, indifferent to Britain's standards; ghost-writer of Yootha Joyce's leatherwear catalogue and autobiography, DOCTOR! THE FORCEPS!; first holder of the office of Hot Diggity;
7. Doctor Glyn Proms ("The Uncanny"), of the generation which fondly remembers edible bark; first holder of the short-lived office of Official Kerb-Trip-Overer;
8. Glyn Macaulay, MSc ("The Thing"), fascinated to death by a creature from the id;
9. Glyn Tidecatcher, who discovered the legendary Source of the Thames; ghost-writer of George Sanders's compelling autobiography, HEY HEY HEY! IT'S MY BOOK!;
10. Brigadier-General Glyn Nivea, exposed in the press as having swapped a child for the quick-burning funeral boat.


Typical Glyn motto

"A guilty conscience is like a crippling gloom: both cause crippling gloom."

Re: Glyn:

[venta.livejournal.com]

"Shall never be called on to join a student band."

Oh dear. Doesn't that mean you've been chronically misnamed ?