venta

Last week, ChrisC and I got some post. It turns out to be a ticky-box survey each from Mr Cameron, asking for our opinions on how to run the country.

Since I've yet to find anyone else who's received this survey, I assume he has chosen us as his special advisers. I had no idea the Tory party was in such disarray.

Anyway, I've filled it in this morning. And written a snitty letter to go with it, pointing out that every single questions is at least one of (a) leading, (b) reductive, (c) intrusive or (d) plain stupid.

( Argh. )

Aargh.

( A very dull rant )

Once - long, long ago - a major news event would occur and there'd be the usual comment of "... and I wonder how long it'll be before we start hearing the jokes about it?"

Now, thanks to twitter, you can be sick of the jokes before you've ever really digested the news.

It's less than 45 minutes since Liam Fox jumped, and I'm already thinking that if I hear one more comment about him having dropped his resignation letter in a bin in St James' Park I'll have to murder someone.

It's pretty summery out there. Y'know, warm and stuff. There's been some rain in the last few weeks, but it hasn't been cold at all. Humid occasionally, but hardly chilly.

I understand that colds happen in warm seasons, too. Summer colds can be really nasty, and it's not very much to do with the weather. I haven't had one, but I understand that winter complaints can sometimes spill over into summer.

However, I would really like to know why the blithering hell I am developing chillblains.

Yesterday prezzybox.com, who are usually quite sensible and useful people, sent me an email advertising their range of "personalised gifts" for Christmas.

( It made me cross )

Right. Enough. I'm calling time on this social networking bandwagon. It's all very well for teenagers, but it is not incumbent upon every institution on the planet to get itself on Twitter. According to an email I received recently, you can even follow the University of Oxford on bloody Twitter.

I finally snapped when, after listening to the Reith Lectures (this year on the subject of "Citizenship") on Radio 4, a continuity announcer told me I could join in the debate on Twitter. Because yeah, nothing says informed and scholarly argument like 140 characters.

Nearly two years ago, hendybear gave me a lovely mp3 player as a birthday present. It is none of your iPod nonsense, it plays any format you care to chuck at it and doesn't require specialised software to shove songs onto it. I love it.

"Ha!" I thought as I unpacked it. "Now I can walk round with music in my ears all the time."

( As it happens, I don't )

Dear Regus,

Fix the heating, you bunch of bastards.

( RIP GNER )

On the plus side: free wifi.

This morning, moving some stuff of my desk, I uncovered a bookmark sent to me by CAMRA and advertising a book called "300 Beers To Drink Before You Die".

I just don't get this recent rash of books. 1000 Things To Do Before You Die. 501 Books To Read Before You Die. 999 Places To Visit Before You Die.

Firstly, I don't get them because they're really just filler; lists of things which probably won't be tailored very exactly to your tastes. They look like the sort of books you give to people when you don't know what to give them. Flicking through a few, I've not felt particularly inspired by the things they think I ought to do/read/eat/drink/shag.

But mostly I object to these books because I want to know who they're aimed at. If the target demographic believes that death is total oblivion and nothing comes after, then half the title is superfluous: "1000 Things To Do" would be fine as a title because, hey, you're not going to do them after you die, are you ?

If, however, the intended reader believes in life after death, then why limit yourself ? "1000 Things To Do" - and you can do them in the here and now or in the afterlife/your next reincarnation, whichever suits you best.

Why do publishers think that adding "Before You DIE" to a book title will encourage us ? Just in case life isn't enough of a struggle anyway, have another deadline!