Here comes the future and you can't run from it

[venta]

Last week, ChrisC and I got some post. It turns out to be a ticky-box survey each from Mr Cameron, asking for our opinions on how to run the country.

Since I've yet to find anyone else who's received this survey, I assume he has chosen us as his special advisers. I had no idea the Tory party was in such disarray.

Anyway, I've filled it in this morning. And written a snitty letter to go with it, pointing out that every single questions is at least one of (a) leading, (b) reductive, (c) intrusive or (d) plain stupid.

Here's an example. From this list of topics, you have to choose three issues which are "most important for YOU AND YOUR FAMILY":

The EU	Welfare - rewarding hard work	The cost of living
Immigration	Childcare	The level of taxes
Schools	The NHS	Opportunities for the next generation
Tax credits & benefits to support working families	The environment & climate change	Care & support for the elderly
Crime & anti-social behaviour	Unemployment	Britain's deficit & debt
University tuition fees	Affordable housing

For a start, choosing three suggests the things are all independent. I'll freely admit that my grasp of economics is shaky, but I'm pretty sure that the deficit/debt situation pretty much underpins the funding available for the other options.

I strongly suspect an attempt to skew the results by including "schools", "opportunities for the next generation" and "tuition fees" as three separate items.

I particularly like that we're supposed to infer what exactly we're supporting by ticking a box. Let's assume that by ticking "crime and anti-social behaviour" we're saying we want less of it. But by ticking "EU", are we asking for more or it, or less?

I pointed out in my letter than I would have ticked welfare, were it not for the tagline "rewarding hard work". I'm not being used as a statistic to justify the way the current government has behaved over disability benefits.

If you enjoyed that question, you can do it all over again to answer which three of those seventeen things are "most important for the COUNTRY AS A WHOLE". You know, I'd have thought the government was better placed to know that than I am, but there you go. You can't make your policies populist if you don't know what people want.

The whole tone of the questionnaire is very much about "rewarding the hard-working taxpayer". Speaking as a hard-working taxpayer, I'd like it to be known that we're not all smug, self-centred bastards intent only on reducing our own bill from HMRC each year.

I declined to answer the question about how I voted in the last election. Partly because, y'know, secret ballot but also because it was included "to help make the survey results representative". I would love to know how, statistically speaking, they justify that.

The final question asked me to indicate how likely I was to vote for various parties in the upcoming election, where 0 is "hell no" and 10 is "get me a rosette, now". They asked about Labour, LibDem, Conservative and UKIP as if UKIP were a real party, but it really did make me realise that, right now, I don't think I can countenance voting for anyone who stands any chance of winning :(

Anyway, I've worked off some of my bile writing to Mr Cameron. I did find myself getting more and more Disgusted of Tunbridge as I went, with my language getting so up itself I had to restrain myself from breaking out "behove" as a word[*]. I signed my name with all the post-nominals I can rake up; I'm not sure I've ever done that before. Clearly interacting with our illustrious leader makes me inclined to try and beat people over the head with strings of letters :(

[*] Contrary to natural inclination, I did not begin my letter "Darling Fascist Bully-boy..."

Comments

[ceb.livejournal.com]

I don't know the song title but I do get your footnote reference :-)

[venta.livejournal.com]

You can have a kudo anyway, then ;)

[bopeepsheep.livejournal.com]

The revolution is just a tshirt away...

The welfare one really annoys me, particularly now I'm in the 'even the DWP don't expect me to work' category. I resent the implication that I intentionally don't work hard at anything - I work harder at staying upright than most people do, for starters. ;-)

[venta.livejournal.com]

... and a kudo to you for the subject line.

I realise there's always been a bit of a "ha, those scrounging types who can't work attitude" around, but I do feel it's got massively worse since the coalition came to power.

[ringbark.livejournal.com]

Sorry to burst your bubble: my wife also received such a survey. She isn't going to return it, however.
The whole thing seems to be calculated to patronise and mislead. I dread to think how the spin doctors will spin this one. Or indeed, doctor it.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Actually, I'm slightly relieved not to hear that I am the sole source of advice (though possibly I am if Mrs Ringbark isn't returning it...)

I did consider not returning it, for pretty much those reasons. On the other hand, if you don't give your views you don't get to whinge when they're not observed. I couldn't resist expanding at length in a letter, though!

[rabbit1080.livejournal.com]

As an Australian, I take this opportunity to point out that my government is (also) complete crap. But we're a couple of years away from the next election so the surveys haven't started yet.

I enjoyed reading your write-up though. Especially the footnote.

You're sanctioned

[davesmusictank.livejournal.com]

Perhaps if you did not send it back to them would these bullies sanction you for not returning their conniving piece of bile and electioneering. I think if I received one i would burn it.

[venta.livejournal.com]

I think I'd sooner send it back with "strongly disagree" ticked wherever I feel it's appropriate than risk them thinking I don't care what they're up to.

[motodraconis.livejournal.com]

That sounds very familiar, I got such a thing a while back. I recall getting pretty wound up with the angled questions too, and I recall writing extra notes. There was one very nasty question that was aimed at skewing you into some sort of anti-immigration racist however you replied. That got a very large reply. I also had a lot of pro-EU words to make utterly clear.
The fact that it was from the tories was very hidden, I recall saying I would not vote for them, but ticked the box "always delighted to attend and participate in any focus groups you might care to run or answer further questions in person."

Despite the fact that surely no one ever volunteers for focus groups or extra feedback opportunities they never got back to me.

[venta.livejournal.com]

In fairness, this survey was very clear about being from the Tories, and was free of racist rubbish (except for allowing you to tick Immigration as an important issue). I guess immigrants are not currently their bogey-du-jour.

[exspelunca.livejournal.com]

Having had to sit, fuming, as a neutral observer through years of meetings of parties of all shades, I'm amazed at your epistolary reticence. At the moment, in another context, I am required to put down the first five words I think of when I hear the term "global citizen". I can think of one, and it isn't printable, for such a nebulously tacky concept. Well, I suppose that's two: nebulous and tacky

[a-llusive.livejournal.com]

Aargh indeed.

[condign.livejournal.com]

I would have thought that "EU" and "crime and anti-social behavior" were redundant.

I declined to answer the question about how I voted in the last election. Partly because, y'know, secret ballot but also because it was included "to help make the survey results representative". I would love to know how, statistically speaking, they justify that.

I would think that you would use it to normalize the results--so, for instance, if you get more conservative responses back than voted conservative in the last election, you reduce the influence of those responses. Fairly standard in political polling.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Fairly standard in political polling.

I shall bow to your much greater knowledge on this topic!

To be honest, I'd expect the forms returned to be so massively biased towards the Tories that it'd be beyond redemption :)