I can no longer shop happily

[venta]

If you are going to the supermarket the please observing the following rules:

1. Do not walk backwards, or suddenly change direction, without looking behind you.


2. Do not walk forwards unless you are looking in front of you, either.


3. Keep your child on reins or hold its hand. Or teach it to look where it's going. I don't mind which.


4. If you need to stop to think/chat/scratch, consider whether you are blocking an aisle before choosing your location.

Also, while I appreciate that having two members of staff attaching the pricing labels to the sandwich shelves is quicker than one, having them stand shoulder-to-shoulder while a queue forms to look at the sandwiches is silly.

I'm normally quite a placid person, but Cowley Road Tesco has nearly induced in me a homicidal rage this morning.

Comments

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

5. Do not stand in the middle of an aisle waving your arms around
6. Do not swing your trolley out into the middle of an aisle assuming there is nobody else in the entire shop
7. Do not charge at somebody with a trolley assuming that they will get out of your way even if they don't know you're there because they're female/young/not white/not sufficiently fashionable/other and therefore obviously inferior for some reason that only you know about.

[venta.livejournal.com]

(7) In fainess, I'd not accuse anyone today of outright malice (see also 11), just thoughtlessness. All rules could really be condensed into:

1. Remember you are not the only person in the shop. Please consider how your actions may affect others.

[ewx.livejournal.com]

8. Do not bimble.

9. Do not carry slightly more goods than you can reliably hold and then drop them, causing the contents to splatter other customers. Use a basket.

[kissifa.livejournal.com]

10. If there is limited space in front of a group of products, it is considered polite to leave your trolley out of the way while deciding which one you'd like, rather than forming a barrier to any others who may wish to access those products.

11. If your child insults a stranger to their face, it is polite to, if not make them apologise themselves, to apologise on their behalf, rather than shuffling away embarrassedly. You git.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

12. If you do not follow rule 11, please extract your child from the freezer without knocking other things out.

[snathe.livejournal.com]

I can add my own experiences to this, in a fevered outburst from September 2005

Miserable old sod, whoever he was.

[thegreenman.livejournal.com]

And if you're elderly/retired then you really don't have to struggle slowly round the place at peak times with everyone else like some sort of mobile chicane just because you always have done.

You can go any time you like.

Honest.

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

You can go any time you like.

Except peak time, apparently...

[uitlander]

13. Do not unload your trolley at the till and then remember a 'last few things', dash off, and leave the queue behind you completely blocked as the checkout girl was halfway through ringing up your stuff.

14. If you do #13. Do not announce cheerily to the crowd that you're in a hurry when you get back.

15. Do not stand checking your bill at the till, start arguing with the checkout girl over missed 'special offers' that Tesco forgot to add into their computers and generally obstructing everyone else from leaving - this is why they have a customer service desk.

16. Try and remember that some people go to Tescos in their 'lunch hour' which is, by convention, only an hour long... hence why they are trying to do things with some degree of speed and efficiency.

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

Further to 15 - when your shopping has passed through the till please pay, then go. No, I mean now, before that other thing you're about to do.

[(Anonymous)]

Do not abandon your trolley in everyone's way while you go off to look for something you really think should be in that aisle - it won't be. Marketing men don't do logic, they do "make 'em look and while they're looking they make impulse buys". (Except for those f us who set out to be marketing men's nightmares and go with a list and stick to it.)
YES!! to everyone else who hates free-range children.

[(Anonymous)]

Free range children are good! They have more flavour than battery types, and won't cause your teeth to tingle when you eat them. They should be spit roasted for best flavour, and salted for crackling.

As for marketing people, especially those who recommend moving the stock to confuse and delay customers, they should be boiled over a period of several days, and then when all nutritional goodness and flavour has been removed, force fed to each other.

For the perpetrators of the crimes listed above...... SHOP SOMEWHERE ELSE!

Thank you. I feel better now.

W