venta: (Default)
[personal profile] venta
Today and yesterday there has been a white van parked outside work. On it is the name of the company (Grasshoppers), two phone numbers, an email address and the suggestion "Why not give us a try?"

Now, the very obvious answer to that is Because we don't know what the bloody hell it is you do. Unless they supply grasshoppers, of course.

Surely this is such a fundamental thing that no one bright enough to run a business could miss it ?

Date: 2004-02-03 02:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wimble.livejournal.com
Supply oriental wisdom, of course!

Date: 2004-02-03 03:08 am (UTC)
zotz: (Default)
From: [personal profile] zotz
Because we don't know what the bloody hell it is you do

You could go and write that on their van. You'd be doing them a favour. They probably haven't realised.

Date: 2004-02-03 03:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wimble.livejournal.com
BT say:
Grasshoppers
(0118) 944 2000
Park Ho,17, Headley Rd
Woodley
Reading
RG5 4JB


And then Google say:
Reading: Painters & Decorators
Grasshoppers: Woodley

TEL: 0118 944 2000 FAX: 0118 944 2277



Date: 2004-02-03 03:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bateleur.livejournal.com
Driving to and from work I've seen a lot of such businesses around the Heathrow area. My favourite simply said:

We're the best there is.

...with a phone number and the company's name. The best at what ? They didn't say.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-03 03:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] onebyone.livejournal.com

Just in general, maybe.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-03 03:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wimble.livejournal.com
Shouldn't that be We're the best there are?

Or not. I must admit to being confused at this point.

Date: 2004-02-03 03:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] neilh.livejournal.com
You don't need to be bright to run a business.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-03 08:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cuthbertcross.livejournal.com
Or to write adverts!
On the way to work last week I saw a new advert for Domestos.
It said in big "gooey" letters; No Bleach Lasts Longer.

Under which I was exquisitely tempted to write with a big marker
"OK, I'll use no bleach instead, then!"

People get paid for this, you know!!!

Re:

Date: 2004-02-04 01:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] onebyone.livejournal.com

Similarly, "You can't eat a single Mingle". Thanks for the warning - I won't bother trying.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-04 04:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wimble.livejournal.com
As we have discovered during roleplaying sessions.

Of course, if they believe you can't eat a single mingle, why do they wrap them individually?

Like a pringle, a single mingle is simply to small to be considered as a unit of snack. So consuming a viable quantity results in much littering of wrappers, making the consumption levels more visible than one might wish.

On the other hand, one can eat a handful of the pesky little blighters.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-04 07:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] onebyone.livejournal.com

Well, that's what they want you to think. They just reckoned without my ability to deliberately misinterpret their dodgy prose.

why do they wrap them individually?

Maybe because 1 is the g.c.d of the various numbers of mingles you might want to eat.

Date: 2004-02-03 11:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thegreenman.livejournal.com
adopt slitty eyed stare

"Ahhhh.....glasshopper"

I thangyew

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