Failed business strategy #1

[venta]

Today and yesterday there has been a white van parked outside work. On it is the name of the company (Grasshoppers), two phone numbers, an email address and the suggestion "Why not give us a try?"

Now, the very obvious answer to that is Because we don't know what the bloody hell it is you do. Unless they supply grasshoppers, of course.

Surely this is such a fundamental thing that no one bright enough to run a business could miss it ?

Comments

[wimble.livejournal.com]

Supply oriental wisdom, of course!

[zotz]

Because we don't know what the bloody hell it is you do

You could go and write that on their van. You'd be doing them a favour. They probably haven't realised.

[wimble.livejournal.com]

BT say:
Grasshoppers
(0118) 944 2000
Park Ho,17, Headley Rd
Woodley
Reading
RG5 4JB


And then Google say:
Reading: Painters & Decorators
Grasshoppers: Woodley

TEL: 0118 944 2000 FAX: 0118 944 2277

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

Driving to and from work I've seen a lot of such businesses around the Heathrow area. My favourite simply said:

We're the best there is.

...with a phone number and the company's name. The best at what ? They didn't say.

Re:

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

Just in general, maybe.

Re:

[wimble.livejournal.com]

Shouldn't that be We're the best there are?

Or not. I must admit to being confused at this point.

[neilh.livejournal.com]

You don't need to be bright to run a business.

Re:

[cuthbertcross.livejournal.com]

Or to write adverts!
On the way to work last week I saw a new advert for Domestos.
It said in big "gooey" letters; No Bleach Lasts Longer.

Under which I was exquisitely tempted to write with a big marker
"OK, I'll use no bleach instead, then!"

People get paid for this, you know!!!

Re:

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

Similarly, "You can't eat a single Mingle". Thanks for the warning - I won't bother trying.

Re:

[wimble.livejournal.com]

As we have discovered during roleplaying sessions.

Of course, if they believe you can't eat a single mingle, why do they wrap them individually?

Like a pringle, a single mingle is simply to small to be considered as a unit of snack. So consuming a viable quantity results in much littering of wrappers, making the consumption levels more visible than one might wish.

On the other hand, one can eat a handful of the pesky little blighters.

Re:

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

Well, that's what they want you to think. They just reckoned without my ability to deliberately misinterpret their dodgy prose.

why do they wrap them individually?

Maybe because 1 is the g.c.d of the various numbers of mingles you might want to eat.

[thegreenman.livejournal.com]

adopt slitty eyed stare

"Ahhhh.....glasshopper"

I thangyew