I'll do graffiti if you'll sing to me in French

[venta]

Following on from my earlier claim that you can get by in a foreign country by smiling, being enthusiastic and saying "thank you" a lot, I wondered about the possibility of compiling a bare minimum phrase book for use by people who know nothing of the language they're going to be floundering in.

My BMPB should be small enough to fit onto a piece of paper considerably smaller than most phrasebooks. It assumes general goodwill on the part of the people to whom one is speaking, and isn't intended to cover any specific circumstance.


Yes
No
Please
Thank you
Thank you very much
Hello
Goodbye
See you later
Great [*]
It doesn't matter
1-10, 100
Can you write it down, please? [mostly for numbers not covered above, or placenames]
What do you call this?
I would like... [**]
I need... [**]
I have lost... [**]
I would like to go to (here) [points to map, or points to written-down placename]
... something
... that one/this one.
... one like this.
Where are the toilets?
I don't feel well

So, what have I missed for a BMPB ? What have I included that isn't really necessary ?

[*] A range (fantastic, brilliant, etc) also useful if you're going to be asked lots of questions
[**] Obviously an extensive list of nouns would be useful here. But you can do a lot with gesturing if necessary. I managed while in Italy to mime such things as "butter knife", "lens cap", "man who plays the melodeon", and "wine bar near the mask museum" without too much trouble.

Comments

[venta.livejournal.com]

Can you point to it in this phraselist, please?

What sort of uses do you envisage that having ? I'm not sure what sort of things I'd expect someone to point to in a phraselist.

My hovercraft is full of eels.

Don't be silly, that's easy to mime.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Me: please tell me where the toilet is
Person: gabblegabblegabble
Me: please speak more slowly
Person g a b b l e g a b b l e g a b b l e
Me: I'm sorry, I don't understand, please repeat
Person: gabblegabblegabblegabble
Me[thinking: I bet this is a regional accent ho ho, if I can at least make out one word I will know where the gaps come and can guess at some of the others also why can you not just point, you mentalist, I am bursting]: can you point to it on this page, please? *shows book*

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

And here's that exchange translated:

Me: blahblahblah
Person: Sorry, I don't understand a word you're saying
Me: blahrhubarbrhubarb
Person: Sorry ... I ... can't ... under ... stand ... you!

[venta.livejournal.com]

It is very disconcerting when you say something in a foreign language, and a native speaker completely fails to understand you.

I carefully asked for "two hot chocolates, please" in Rocca Grimalda, and was greeted with total incomprehension. I subsequently checked with one of our hosts, who assured me what I'd said was correct.

I dunno, maybe I wasn't talking fast enough, or something.

[mrlloyd.livejournal.com]

Yes, this is the single most annoying thing that can happen in a foreign language. Not only is it confusing - it makes you start second guessing everything else you say.

It happened to me once asking for a beer - weeks of trauma (and linguistic research) followed.

[floralaetifica.livejournal.com]

Happened to me in France asking for a coke. Scared the bejeezes out of me.

And yet in BA, I was regularly told that my accent was excellent, even though I had a lot less Spanish than I used to have French. Bizarre. But imo Spanish is vastly easier than French. It's almost exactly like latin, for one thing. And pronunciation is standardised, so much less room to go wrong.

[secondhand-rick.livejournal.com]

Happened to me in France asking for a coke.

... and to me in America asking for the same.

[hendybear.livejournal.com]

Happens to me all the time in China, in my case it is because the Chinese person is trying to figure out what you have said in English, they don't expect you to be able to speak any Mandarin. The second time I say it the penny drops and I get a big smile in return, usually followed by a long stream of Mandarin I don't understand

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

And tuna. A dude in a sandwich shop in San Francisco professed to have literally no idea what I might be talking about until I pronounced it "toona". I guess some people just aren't good at deciphering foreign accents, and aren't willing to guess what you mean if they aren't sure.

My Granddad has reported a similar experience with place names in the South of France. Everyone understood his French perfectly well until he tried to pronounce an unfamiliar place name, Blah-sur-Rhône or whatever, at which point there would be a lot of shrugging, grimacing, and questions like, "You want go where?", "Are you sure it's around here?". If he wrote it down everyone would say, "ah, Blah-sur-Rhône. Why didn't you say so?".

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

until I pronounced it "toona"

Or possibly "toonafish", come to think of it. I don't know what other kind of tuna there is, aside from the fish.

[secondhand-rick.livejournal.com]

Likewise with a friend of mine who - also in San Francicso, I think - tried to buy butter with no success, but did manage to purchase some 'budder'.

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

I spent what seemed subjectively like hours in an SF restaurant asking the waiter for what turned out to be some 'wahderr' to drink.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Almost invariably!

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

The numbers, and left / right etc, I was thinking.

(Yes, I am obsessive about directions and the whole not getting lost thing.)

Could also be useful for the pleasantries, I suppose: it might be a relief to learn that the phrase they just barked at you was really just "thank you" in an unexpected phrasing or accent.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Oh yes! The word for "map". Veryveryvery useful.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Ah, I'd decided that - if you need this BMPB - understanding directions was clearly going to be right out :)

My phrase book did usefully have "Can you point to it on the map" in it, which seemed much more useful than asking for directions (though only if you have a map, of course).

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

understanding directions was clearly going to be right out

In that case your "Where are the toilets?" may be the cause of more frustration than relief, unless they're very close ;-)

[hendybear.livejournal.com]

STOP is also very useful! and fun in Mandarin as the word is TING in the middle tone, try saying Ting melodiously and you have got it! Just like a bell.
So the English word for the sound describes the sound, was the easiest word to learn