What's in the box ? See watcha got!

[venta]

You may have observed that there's been a sheep going round of late whereby people are invited to list things they'd put in a box in order to convery their personality to a complete stranger.

I'm not going to do this, as I reckon I'd put together a box of things which would show my personality as I see it, or as I'd like others to see it - neither of which are necessarily accurate. Anyone willing to collect a box of things to define me is most welcome, though.

Instead, for your delight and delectation, I've boxed up a few people on my friends list. You are invited to guess who, if you wish.

Disclaimer: These boxes, of course, only convey my impressions of the person I'm trying to represent. They may be wildly misleading or just plain wrong. If you suspect you're in a box and don't like it, tell me and I'll either tell you it's not you, or take the box away.

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Box 1

Is a utilitarian white carboard box. It looks tidy, and all its edges are sharp and its corners undented.

Neatly stacked inside it are some back issues of Private Eye. Folded inside one of them are ticket stubs for a recent gig, and a sketched map giving directions to a good pub.

Exile on Coldharbour Lane and a copy of Amelie are propped up against Gödel, Escher, Bach and some Calvin & Hobbes cartoons.

A chart showing the matches played for the last Superbowl is folded up at the bottom; written on it in ballpoint on it are pithy comments giving opinions on various teams' chances or performances so far.

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Box 2

Is a sturdy-looking black plastic crate, slightly scuffed. When you open it, you notice someone has painted a smokey portrait on the inside of the lid.

Rolling about inside are a couple of empty red wine bottles, and a notebook full of close handwriting. Tucked in an evelope are a couple of unmarked CDs, and a SmartCard which, if examined, turns out to be full of photos of urban graffiti.

The rest of the space is filled in with unidentifiable things which look like they came from an Army Surplus store and have a very definite purpose - if only you could work out what it was - and the guts of some hapless electronics.

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Box 3

Is a hastily-folded together container, covered in bright red and green stripes.

Bulging out of the top in all directions are DVDs and bars of chocolate and fantasy novels and a half-written letter and CDs of German pop-goth bands and camera manuals and spare lenses and Waterhouse prints and springs and cogs and black shirts and a teddy bear.

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Box 4

Is covered in figured red brocade, and neatly fastened with a little brass clip.

Inside is a Bonsai tree, with strongly-worded instructions suggesting how the box-opener should look after the tree, and what will happen to them if they don't. Bottles of Shiraz and single malt are stacked up neatly, and are bounded on either side by books of fairy tales.

In one corner is a muddle of earrings, an old PalmPilot, a map of the world, some ornaments and some tapes without boxes.

There is a print out of an unfinished letter to the BBC, pointing out that in a recent article on their website they demonstrated a critical lack of understanding of some biological issues, and setting them straight.

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Box 5

Is actually a well-worn leather trunk, carefully preserved but definitely not of recent manufacture.

Inside are a couple of pairs of antique handcuffs (no keys), a pocketwatch, a pack of cards and a neatly-brushed top hat. Tapes of the Doug Anthony Allstars, I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue and The Goon Show are piled on top of old editions of The Chap.

A pile of pages lists films, with brief reviews. Some receive a neat, elegant critique, others are dismissed precipitately, with comments like "Fucksocks".

A pair of black gloves is draped elegantly, if ever so slightly pretentiously, over the edge of the trunk.

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If you want to fight the box demon, tun to paragraph 44...


Update:

Following the correct guessing by davefish of the complete list (each box had been correctly guessed at some earlier point), I shall confirm that the boxes were:

Box 1 onebyone
Box 2 grahamb
Box 3 davefish
Box 4 leathellin
Box 5 mr_flay

I believe that Davefish is the only person on my friends list who knows all five of the above.

Thanks for playing.

Comments

[smiorgan.livejournal.com]

1 onebyone
2 wimble?
3 secretrebel
4 leathellin
5 angry marmot or verlaine, hmm

[lathany.livejournal.com]

I'd second 1 and 4, not sure about 2 (don't know the man well enough), 3 doesn't look right (but I don't have a guess of my own, just dissing yours ;-) ) and 5 looks verlaine and not angry marmot.

Hmmmm. Any chance 3 is Davefish ? (who I also don't really know).