What's in the box ? See watcha got!

[venta]

You may have observed that there's been a sheep going round of late whereby people are invited to list things they'd put in a box in order to convery their personality to a complete stranger.

I'm not going to do this, as I reckon I'd put together a box of things which would show my personality as I see it, or as I'd like others to see it - neither of which are necessarily accurate. Anyone willing to collect a box of things to define me is most welcome, though.

Instead, for your delight and delectation, I've boxed up a few people on my friends list. You are invited to guess who, if you wish.

Disclaimer: These boxes, of course, only convey my impressions of the person I'm trying to represent. They may be wildly misleading or just plain wrong. If you suspect you're in a box and don't like it, tell me and I'll either tell you it's not you, or take the box away.

---

Box 1

Is a utilitarian white carboard box. It looks tidy, and all its edges are sharp and its corners undented.

Neatly stacked inside it are some back issues of Private Eye. Folded inside one of them are ticket stubs for a recent gig, and a sketched map giving directions to a good pub.

Exile on Coldharbour Lane and a copy of Amelie are propped up against Gödel, Escher, Bach and some Calvin & Hobbes cartoons.

A chart showing the matches played for the last Superbowl is folded up at the bottom; written on it in ballpoint on it are pithy comments giving opinions on various teams' chances or performances so far.

---

Box 2

Is a sturdy-looking black plastic crate, slightly scuffed. When you open it, you notice someone has painted a smokey portrait on the inside of the lid.

Rolling about inside are a couple of empty red wine bottles, and a notebook full of close handwriting. Tucked in an evelope are a couple of unmarked CDs, and a SmartCard which, if examined, turns out to be full of photos of urban graffiti.

The rest of the space is filled in with unidentifiable things which look like they came from an Army Surplus store and have a very definite purpose - if only you could work out what it was - and the guts of some hapless electronics.

---

Box 3

Is a hastily-folded together container, covered in bright red and green stripes.

Bulging out of the top in all directions are DVDs and bars of chocolate and fantasy novels and a half-written letter and CDs of German pop-goth bands and camera manuals and spare lenses and Waterhouse prints and springs and cogs and black shirts and a teddy bear.

---

Box 4

Is covered in figured red brocade, and neatly fastened with a little brass clip.

Inside is a Bonsai tree, with strongly-worded instructions suggesting how the box-opener should look after the tree, and what will happen to them if they don't. Bottles of Shiraz and single malt are stacked up neatly, and are bounded on either side by books of fairy tales.

In one corner is a muddle of earrings, an old PalmPilot, a map of the world, some ornaments and some tapes without boxes.

There is a print out of an unfinished letter to the BBC, pointing out that in a recent article on their website they demonstrated a critical lack of understanding of some biological issues, and setting them straight.

---

Box 5

Is actually a well-worn leather trunk, carefully preserved but definitely not of recent manufacture.

Inside are a couple of pairs of antique handcuffs (no keys), a pocketwatch, a pack of cards and a neatly-brushed top hat. Tapes of the Doug Anthony Allstars, I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue and The Goon Show are piled on top of old editions of The Chap.

A pile of pages lists films, with brief reviews. Some receive a neat, elegant critique, others are dismissed precipitately, with comments like "Fucksocks".

A pair of black gloves is draped elegantly, if ever so slightly pretentiously, over the edge of the trunk.

---

If you want to fight the box demon, tun to paragraph 44...


Update:

Following the correct guessing by davefish of the complete list (each box had been correctly guessed at some earlier point), I shall confirm that the boxes were:

Box 1 onebyone
Box 2 grahamb
Box 3 davefish
Box 4 leathellin
Box 5 mr_flay

I believe that Davefish is the only person on my friends list who knows all five of the above.

Thanks for playing.

Comments

[smiorgan.livejournal.com]

1 onebyone
2 wimble?
3 secretrebel
4 leathellin
5 angry marmot or verlaine, hmm

[lathany.livejournal.com]

I'd second 1 and 4, not sure about 2 (don't know the man well enough), 3 doesn't look right (but I don't have a guess of my own, just dissing yours ;-) ) and 5 looks verlaine and not angry marmot.

Hmmmm. Any chance 3 is Davefish ? (who I also don't really know).

[leathellin.livejournal.com]

Well I think I see onebyone and me in there - but I could be wrong...

[uitlander]

#4 can only be you. No question.

[triskellian]

I'm another vote for onebyone as number 1 and leathellin as number 4. I'm guessing davefish as number 2, and I can see something of smiorgan in number 5. Although mostly in the 'fucksocks' comment ;-)

[triskellian]

3. davefish as number 3.

[lathany.livejournal.com]

Good. The idea of Davefish as number 2 was seriously upsetting my world-view.

[zotz]

I think that number 2 would be Mr Boyd.

[wechsler.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was about to say that.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Not going to comment yet, as I'm quite enjoying seeing the guesses - but in a spirit of fairness, I feel I should point out that very few people (to the best of my knowledge) will know all five box-dwellers...

Of course, in accordance with the rule that says everyone I know secretly knows everyone else I know without telling me, you're all probably out drinking together as I write.

[edling.livejournal.com]

I think I'm fairly certain about 2 and 5- and from the looks of it no-one else has got 5 right yet....

[edling.livejournal.com]

...commenting on my own comment ;)
In fact, 5 is *really* obvious if you know the person in question reasonably well.

[zotz]

Actually, I think I've just realised. Are you being cryptic for a compelling reason, or just for a laugh?

[edling.livejournal.com]

I'm just not giving the game away- my poor brain gets all confused when it has to be cryptic

[zotz]

Fair enough. I'll keep stumm too, then.

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

I go with the consensus on 1 and 4. 3 is davefish. I'm fairly sure that 2 is someone I don't know. I guessed verlaine at first for 5, but now I reckon it could be Wingnut. Does he have an LJ?

[venta.livejournal.com]

Does he have an LJ?

I believe not.

[leathellin.livejournal.com]

I discunted Wingnut on the not being on your friends list grounds. Unless he is in disguise. And that was mostly just the gloves anyway.

[venta.livejournal.com]

I discunted Wingnut

Please post your scurrilous personal life in your own LJ :)

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

If that's the sort of thing that goes on, please don't.

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

I reckon it could be Wingnut

What, solely on the strength of the word 'pretentiously' ?

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

Nah - it says "slightly pretentiously", which I didn't think was really applicable.

[kate-r.livejournal.com]

Don't even know if these are on your friends list but is box 2 GrahamB and box 5 Mr Flay?

[frax.livejournal.com]

I thought 1 or 5 might have been elethomiel but all the other suggestions for those positions sound plausible as well.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_corpse_/]

Right-ho.

1 is onebyone.
2 is a mystery to me
3 is either secretrebel or triskellian
4 is lethelin
5 sounds like he who must be refered to as Wingnut, I guess its more likely an LJ kind of dude or dudette.

[triskellian]

3 is either secretrebel or triskellian
No it's not. Red and green stripes? Yuck.

secretrebel neither eats chocolate nor watches DVDs (she's a video gal), I don't read fantasy novels (well, hardly ever), and neither of us listen to much goth music or take enough photos to be characterised by camera stuff. Sorry ;-)

[venta.livejournal.com]

You're not taking exception to the Waterhouse prints then ? Crikey, I would.

Bloody vapid things.

[triskellian]

<sheepish expression> Can't.

I spent my teenage years with various cheesy Pre-Raphaelites on my walls, and, depending on the size of my own box, they could well be lurking in there somewhere ;-)

(Good game, btw!)

[venta.livejournal.com]

Er, ok then ;)

I do have a bit of a bee in my bonnet about JWW, to be fair. I always thought he was too damn wet to be properly pre-Raphaelite.

And since my comparable-era posters are probably black-and-white Cure stills or the Magic Roundabout, you're still winning on Cultcha points.

[triskellian]

I think pre-Raphaelites were officially removed from the list of things that award Cultcha points ;-)

[venta.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that always happens when

greetings cards
--------------- > 1
museum visits

:)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_corpse_/]

Well I was guessing on the basis of not knowing either of you that well.

Mebbe it's a composite?

Secret Triskelrebellion?

[venta.livejournal.com]

Secret Triskelrebellion

Fighting for justice, fudgecake, and independence for Cornwall ?

My guesses

[davefish.livejournal.com]

1) onebyone
2) grahamb
3) I think that's me, though I'm a little confused by some of it.
4) leathellin
5) mr_flay

How am I doing?

Re: My guesses

[venta.livejournal.com]

First complete correct list, though I believe each box has been correctly guessed at some point.

Out of interest, which bits did you think were unlike you ?

Re: My guesses

[davefish.livejournal.com]

The red and green stripes seemed a bit random. I was thinking of the toys as well, but the I realised that there are some boxes in my room that have bats and dogs sprouting out of them :)

Re: My guesses

[venta.livejournal.com]

seemed a bit random

And this was unlike you in which way, exactly ?

:)

Re: My guesses

[davefish.livejournal.com]

Inhales deeply to explain how you are completely wrong.

Pauses for a moment in contemplation

Realises that I can't argue on that point.

Fair enough then.

Re: My guesses

[keris.livejournal.com]

I was thinking of the toys as well, but the I realised that there are some boxes in my room that have bats and dogs sprouting out of them

I thought it was you after my creatures had invaded your room and set up camp :)

[elethiomel.livejournal.com]

I have to confess I, in a fit of self aggrandisement, rather thought box 5 was me as well - I probably ought to meet this mr_flay at some point and see if the universe disappears in a puff of logic.

[venta.livejournal.com]

I could imagine you might get along rather well, actually. You're both in London, how hard can it be ?

Not enough militaria in the box for you, dear boy. Though actually, there probably wasn't enough for Mr_Flay, either. And I'd probably have swapped the handcuffs for a cuddly Hobbes, in your case :)

[(Anonymous)]

Your box is black, very rigid, with spikes, and a booby trap for anyone who tries to look inside.