Improvisation in the kitchen

[venta]

Owing to all the knives being in the dishwasher, and the dishwasher being at one of those "really don't open" parts of its cycle, I can now report that it's perfectly possible to spread butter and evil on your toast with a teaspoon.

And irrelevantly: for anyone who cared deeply about the elephant/alephant/oliphant debate, we now have a shiny new green box. So all is well again :)

Comments

[beckyc.livejournal.com]

You say that as if it's the first time you've had to do it. I'm shocked ;-)

[wimble.livejournal.com]

There are many things that are possible. You could probably spread your evil with a rolling pin (if you had one to hand), or write a C compiler in Perl.

Doesn't mean it's a good idea though (this being evil, an' all ;-)

[venta.livejournal.com]

Doesn't mean it's a good idea though (this being evil, an' all ;-)

Please understand that I'm not endorsing the use of teaspoons in this manner (and I'm certainly not endorsing the writing of C compilers in Perl :). Merely demonstrating the lengths to which one may have to go in times of adversity, yet emerge unscathed.

With toast.

[wimble.livejournal.com]

You might be unscathed, but the poor toast!

Smothered in layers and layers of evil, only for you to nibble bits off.

(Ok, where do I sign up?)

Behavioural changes

[uitlander]

Hmm... I salvaged a knife from the dishwasher and washed it to deal with my own personal dose of evil and toast when I got in this morning, and then turned the dishwasher on. It clearly hadn't been set to run last night and still had yesterday's lunch remnants in it. I guess that whoever usually turns it on in the afternoon/evenings is away or has been forgetful of late.

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

I'd bet good money that venta couldn't write a C compiler in PERL.

As an aside - if you didn't mind about the performance, PERL might be quite a decent choice for a compiler...

[venta.livejournal.com]

I'd bet good money that venta couldn't write a C compiler in PERL.

Not a bet I'm taking, there :)

[kissifa.livejournal.com]

May I recommend melting the butter in the microwave (or on the hob if you are not thus equipped) and using the teaspoon to mix in the evil, then pouring evenly over your toast?

You get to melt things and pour stuff, and use a machine that goes, "PING!", plus evil on toast. What more could you want?

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

I don't approve of this approach.

For me, one of the key properties of the perfect Evil-on-toast experience is a certain amount of non-uniformity in the distribution of both spreadable lard and of Evil.

[thegreenman.livejournal.com]

Hah! So it's you that made that mess in the microwave!

"What more could you want?"

[thegreenman.livejournal.com]

Women in scanty clothing?
World Peace?

I'll let you know

[condign.livejournal.com]

I would bet that given time and suitable motivation, and access to the materials she would need to train herself, venta could write a C compiler in PERL.

Anyone who makes evil teaspoons should not be underestimated.

[venta.livejournal.com]

bateleur, please don't take him up on this.

[condign.livejournal.com]

Well, I should note that I doubt you have the time, or that bateleur could provide suitable motivation, so it's a bit of an empty gesture.

[venta.livejournal.com]

The management thanks you for the cote of confidence, however, and just keeps its grubby fingers crossed it never has to live up to it :)

[condign.livejournal.com]

A cote of confidence? Is that like a coat of confidence, and do you apply it with a brush? And if so, might you need two coats of confidence, since it's notably thin and not mixed with evil?

[venta.livejournal.com]

Nah, it's a cheap british equivalent to the Cote d'Azure :)

[condign.livejournal.com]

Well, then I'm afraid you're definitely wrong, as I did not just offer you a holiday destination. After all, that might be sufficient incentive for a compiler...

Re: "What more could you want?"

[kissifa.livejournal.com]

Women in scanty clothing?

With or without the evil on toast? Could they be the toast?

[kissifa.livejournal.com]

Well, obviously the amount the evil is mixed into the butter, and the way the resultant mix is poured onto the toast is down to individual preference, I was merely providing an example of the method, a serving suggestion type thing.

Anyone have a picture of some toast next to a lump of butter and a blob of marmite?

Re: "What more could you want?"

[thegreenman.livejournal.com]

Err..so women in scanty clothing and coated in evil? Or "I can believe it's hydrogenated vegetable oil"?

Now I'm confused.

But it does sound interesting...

Re: "What more could you want?"

[kissifa.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't say 'confusing', so much as 'sticky'.

But if they're the toast, you need to put the butter on there too, with the evil.

Otherwise the evil is too strong. :(