Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens, mix the punch, drag out the Dickens

[venta]

Maybe if I make this sound somehow appealing, people will go for it...

Every year, I buy Christmas cards. Every year, I use most of them. Over the last decade I have slowly acquired a very motley collection of leftover cards. This year, I resolved not to buy any new ones, but to use up all the leftovers - which I've nearly done.

The trouble is, I'm now left with all the slightly suspect ones. The cutesy Victorian children. The odd Christmas bunnies. The nasueous verses. The snow scenes which were painted too late and look like nasty, dribbly thaws. It seems wasteful to throw these straight in the recycling.

Accordingly... if you think your world would be brightened up by the receipt of a rather tasteless, tacky or unpleasant Christmas card leave your address in a comment![*]

Offer available while stocks last, priority given to people to whom I have not already sent a card.

I must concede that many already sent this year have been passed over in earlier years, so if you received one of the teddy-bears which look like they've gone several rounds with Freddie Mills, apologies!

[*]Comments now screened, although I initially forgot. I'll unscreen anything which doesn't contain address information (unless you ask me not to).

Comments

[cuthbertcross.livejournal.com]

Dude, use em as recycled gift tags. We had great fun chopping and tying on bits of ribbon. If you get really carried away you can put glitter on top.
It's what we always keep our cards for (they go back in the Christmas deco box).

[venta.livejournal.com]

I've made hundreds of them in the past - the cards left are mostly large pictures which don't lend themselves well to being chopped up into little bits, either!

I suppose I could go for a slightly avant-garde range of gift tags each featuring a square section of a Madonna's face, but I'm not sure it's a good idea.

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

each featuring a square section of a Madonna's face

That's wouldn't be so bad. It's the people who get other sections of the Madonna who'd give you funny looks!

"Oh look, it's... erm... baby Jesus' feet?"

[pseudomonas.livejournal.com]

Would such a card be improved by being sliced into squares which are then shuffled and stuck back down?

[venta.livejournal.com]

Hmm... that's not a bad idea...

[cuthbertcross.livejournal.com]

That's inspired!!

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

Freddie Mills? I've not heard his name in a while. Especially not in a teddy-related simile context.

I don't think I deserve any Christmas cards this year, as I haven't got around to sending any at all yet.

[venta.livejournal.com]

I had a brief pause while I thought er... think of a boxer. Given my terrible lack of knowledge on the topic, I thought first of Freddie Mills.

I blame Luke Haines (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wS6K9GhjSgE).

[snow-leopard.livejournal.com]

Entirely unrelated.
Just checking that you have been able to use the Spa voucher?

[venta.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I have! There's supposed to be a review coming to here, but life is busy getting in the way...

No, but

[a-llusive.livejournal.com]

I have a jazz CD box collection which is either yours or hendybear's, so if yours hasn't moved with you, we'll need to sort something out.

Re: No, but

[venta.livejournal.com]

Mine moved safely with me, thank you, so you must have Hendybear's!