The signs were all there

[venta]

Some years ago, there was a snippet in the back of Private Eye where someone pointed out the hilarious sign on the M40 which read "Use both lanes Oxford A34".

How could one, they said (presumably with sides splitting from the laughter) use both lanes. Surely the sign should advise you to use either lane for Oxford?

Now, while acknowledging that they are technically correct, I'd driven past that sign for years without batting an eyelid. It uses short words and it's easy to understand what it intends to convey, which is pretty much the main criterion for a sensible motorway sign.

When small, I was perpetually amused by the roadworks signs which advise you "Delays possible til October". But it's July, I don't want to be stuck in a queue for three months! I do, however, concede that the sign can't really be improved on; you can't be accurate in four words or fewer. Ditto "Police Slow" signs (I'm a civilian, I can go as fast as I want!) I suppose you could stick a colon in that one, but really only the most perverse alien would genuinely misunderstand it.

Making signs say exactly what they mean would ultimately degenerate into huge hoardings containing several paragraphs of legalese; not a great idea for drivers hurtling by and trying to absorb information at 70mph.

However, every so often I do observe a sign which seems so peculiar that I want to know the backstory. If, for example you saw the following sign, do you think you'd understand it?

Passenger lifts
→

Assuming you were a passenger who wished to change floors without climbing stairs, you'd get the general idea that walking the way the little symbol-thing pointed might be a good idea?

So, I want to know what humorous misunderstandings and mishaps led to the placement of the following sign in Reading railway station:

Passenger lifts
please follow the
directional arrow.
→

Having added all those extra words, they could have added a 'For' at the front, which would have corrected the only possible ambiguity I can see in my alternative version above.

Comments

[leathellin.livejournal.com]

My favourite signs are "caution heavy plant crossing" - I have yet to see Audrey II or any Triffids though.

[phlebas.livejournal.com]

I'm a fan of "Dogs must be carried" myself.

[ar-gemlad.livejournal.com]

Quick! Find a do - I need to use the escalator!

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

That joke is actually used in the film of Little Shop, iirc...

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

(The modern one, obv.)

[motodraconis.livejournal.com]

That sign gets me too!

[stripey-cat.livejournal.com]

I can remember having to have that one explained to me when I was five (there was building work on the way to school), and how disappointed I was when I discovered that it didn't mean trees walking across the drive when no-one was looking. It still leaves me feeling a little downhearted every time I see it - another childhood dream in tatters!