Would you marry me anyway ? Would you have my baby ?

[venta]

One of my colleagues is currently expecting a baby. I believe his girlfriend's going to do the actual producing, but he seems pretty expectant too. Said baby is due (overdue, even) so he's ready to dash out of work at a moment's notice.

I think I take it as read that any father today who's expecting to be moderately involved with a child would be present at the birth, if at all possible. I'd take it as read that any father a century ago would be as far away as he could feasibly manage from anything so out of his ken.

What I want to know is at what point did it become the norm for fathers to be present at the birth of their children ? Obviously there isn't going to be a precise date but has it been commonplace throughout my lifetime ?

I believe that my Dad was there when I was born, though I've recently come to the conclusion that my parents were dangerous reactionaries. When the mother went to parentcraft classes, my Dad went along too on the assumpmtion that he probably also needed to know how to wrangle a baby. So did someone else's husband, and two dads-to-be at such an event made local headlines. I'm not joking; I have the cuttings.

When the mother had to go into hospital shortly after I was born; Dad took some time off work and assumed full responsibility for a squawling newborn. It was a choice of necessity (I'm woefully underequipped with grandparents), but so unthinkable that when he went to collect Mum, the ward sister shouted at him for being so stupid as to bring the baby instead of leaving her "with the woman who was looking after her". This was 1976; a decade later I'd be in a school which thought it perfectly reasonable to divide the class on Wednesday afternoons into the girls (who had sewing lessons) and the boys (who had football lessons).

I realise that "being present at the birth" and "taking on childcare" are two separate issues. I can imagine the second being assumed (permanently, temporarily, reluctantly, happily...) for all sorts of reasons, but the former seems to be much more of a choice. In ordinary circumstances there isn't any need for the father to be present, it's a conscious choice. And in choosing it, some people stepped over a pretty large taboo at some point in the past.

I'm sure there were plenty of hippie types around in the sixties (or earlier) with wild ideas about dads and childcare and birthing procedures. But does anyone know when such ideas became properly mainstream ?

Or am I currently surrounded by woolly, lefty, new men who are giving me a distorted idea of the world today ?

Comments

[bopeepsheep.livejournal.com]

My dad was at my birth in 1972 and it was "slightly unusual" (mostly because his boss actually let him have the time off to be there, I think) but neither of my parents is the crunchy hippy type. Dad also sat up with me most nights during the colicky phase but that was mostly because a) he's a night owl and Mum isn't, and b) the Olympics were on.

He was also at the birth of both of my brothers (1975 and 1977), although frankly everyone was at the last one - there was also a lecture theatre full of students. The perils of teaching hospitals!

[venta.livejournal.com]

I should add that both of my parents are very unhippyish in the general case, despite ideas of equality and frequent attendance at folk festivals. Sounds like the birth of your younger brother was quite a party!