venta

Recently, owing to a great special offer followed by a freezer apocalypse[*], I've been eating my way through a lot of bagels. Bagels are incredibly smug-looking foodstuffs.

Bagel: I'm nicely toasted. I wonder what topping I'm going to get. Something cool and very New York, I should think. Smoked salmon and creamed cheese, maybe some pastrami, perhaps.... Aargh! What the hell is that ?
Venta: It's Marmite.
Bagel: Ewww! Get it off me! I'm meant to be eaten!
Venta: Don't fret, little bagel. Marmite is a perfectly respectable breakfast foodstuff.
Bagel [grumpily]: Looks like toxic waste, if you ask me.
Venta: I didn't. You're a bagel.

The bagel perked up a bit when I told it that Bagel Factory sell toasted bagels with Marmite, which somehow legitimises the whole thing. It looked briefly suspicious when I admitted, under close questioning, that Bagel Factory don't mention it anywhere on their menu; you have to ask for it.

In the end, I think the bagel decided to pretend it was in the Mob, part of a network of under-the-counter Marmite racketeering.

[*] Don't panic,