His affectionate majesty made a decree: go to work on an E

[venta]

Recently, owing to a great special offer followed by a freezer apocalypse[*], I've been eating my way through a lot of bagels. Bagels are incredibly smug-looking foodstuffs.

Bagel: I'm nicely toasted. I wonder what topping I'm going to get. Something cool and very New York, I should think. Smoked salmon and creamed cheese, maybe some pastrami, perhaps.... Aargh! What the hell is that ?
Venta: It's Marmite.
Bagel: Ewww! Get it off me! I'm meant to be eaten!
Venta: Don't fret, little bagel. Marmite is a perfectly respectable breakfast foodstuff.
Bagel [grumpily]: Looks like toxic waste, if you ask me.
Venta: I didn't. You're a bagel.

The bagel perked up a bit when I told it that Bagel Factory sell toasted bagels with Marmite, which somehow legitimises the whole thing. It looked briefly suspicious when I admitted, under close questioning, that Bagel Factory don't mention it anywhere on their menu; you have to ask for it.

In the end, I think the bagel decided to pretend it was in the Mob, part of a network of under-the-counter Marmite racketeering.

[*] Don't panic, hendybear, it wasn't our apocalypse. Or our freezer.

Comments

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

Bagel Factory don't mention it anywhere on their menu; you have to ask for it

Stands to reason. If you're a Marmite consumer you know what you want, but you wouldn't want people who didn't know what it was ordering it speculatively!

[leathellin.livejournal.com]

She's gone, finally completely gone. Not only is that talking to bagels, it is also eating marmite. :-)

[al-fruitbat.livejournal.com]

Untoasted bagel, marmite, cream cheese & cucumber. It was one of those little sandwich shops on Broad St that introduced me to that. Mm... hungry now.

[stegzy.livejournal.com]

Marmite is just dirty. That poor bagel. I really feel sorry for it. Surely a better way would have been with some cream cheese and a slice of pastrami. Or toasted. With jam.

[shrydar.livejournal.com]

What has that poor bagel ever done to you?! I don't think I'd even inflict Vegemite on a bagel, never mind Marmite.

*airfreights the poor thing some pear and marscapone*

[mr-tom.livejournal.com]

The only thing better than bagels with marmite is bagels and bacon.

[(Anonymous)]

Get your rs into gear - it's mascarpone