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ventaI've just been reading an article about the threat posed to companies by sysadmins, and the trouble they can cause when they leave. In it, the writer draws the analogy to his own son who, on moving out of the family house, will be required to leave his doorkeys behind: "Just because he lived here does not mean he's entitled to just walk in when it suits him."
Which surprised me. I still have a key to my parents' house, despite having not significantly lived there in a decade. I feel it would be impolite just to walk in unannounced (not to mention impractical - our respective abodes are a couple of hundred miles apart), but in theory I could. When I visit, I let myself in rather than ringing the bell. Occasionally I stay there when my parents are away, though I do ask in advance.
Observation of a limited number of friends in the environs of their parents' houses has suggested that they have broadly similar arrangements.
So, o LJ, tell me what is normal, usual behaviour.
I guess it depends to some extent on the relationship you have with your parents and, possibly, whether or not they've moved since you last lived with them. I have never formally 'moved out' of my parents' house - my bedroom is still notionally my bedroom, and has quite a lot of my stuff in it; I suspect this will change if/when I ever manage to purchase my own residence. How many people do officially 'move out' as opposed to slowly drifting into new routines, leaving their parents' house festooned with junk to be tolerated, delivered in a crate or quietly thrown away. How many people have been relieved of their keys ? Have people been presented with keys to a new parental abode in which they've never lived ?
Which surprised me. I still have a key to my parents' house, despite having not significantly lived there in a decade. I feel it would be impolite just to walk in unannounced (not to mention impractical - our respective abodes are a couple of hundred miles apart), but in theory I could. When I visit, I let myself in rather than ringing the bell. Occasionally I stay there when my parents are away, though I do ask in advance.
Observation of a limited number of friends in the environs of their parents' houses has suggested that they have broadly similar arrangements.
So, o LJ, tell me what is normal, usual behaviour.
I guess it depends to some extent on the relationship you have with your parents and, possibly, whether or not they've moved since you last lived with them. I have never formally 'moved out' of my parents' house - my bedroom is still notionally my bedroom, and has quite a lot of my stuff in it; I suspect this will change if/when I ever manage to purchase my own residence. How many people do officially 'move out' as opposed to slowly drifting into new routines, leaving their parents' house festooned with junk to be tolerated, delivered in a crate or quietly thrown away. How many people have been relieved of their keys ? Have people been presented with keys to a new parental abode in which they've never lived ?
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Date: 2008-07-31 07:57 pm (UTC)My wife and I always had keys to our parents' homes, even when we lived 12,000 miles away. This was to deal with the feared medical emergency, though when it happened I don't think we actually took the keys with us and arrangements were sorted out locally when we got back to England.
I would always expect my children (now 19, 17 and 14) to have keys to our place. My mother-in-law also has a key. So do some trusted friends who live locally.
If the boys move tens or thousands of miles away, they can keep keys. I simply ask that they don't keep them on a keyring with the address on it.