We must play our lives like soldiers in the field

[venta]

Yesterday, I got into a Bad Joke Contest.

A Bad Joke Contest is a bad thing to get into with Bernard, because he knows very many bad jokes. Fortunately, so do I.

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I wrap myself in cling film instead of wearing clothes.
Doctor: Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.

Unfortunately, a lot of them seemed to be the same ones. I'm sure I used to know millions of Doctor, Doctor jokes, but they mostly seem to have deserted me. Even more annoyingly, I knew some of the ones he told, but had forgotten the punch line. (The billiard ball joke was one I clearly remembered from junior school, but had to be told "Go to the end of the cue".)

Accordingly, I solicit your best (or worst) Doctor, Doctor joke. Just the one... and no sending me links to pages with a thousand and one of them.

My favourite remains one Ian Hislop told on HIGNFY some years ago:

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Doctor: Well, I'm sorry, but we don't have any beds.

Comments

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

Is that really a Doctor, doctor joke?

I think they're supposed to contain some hint of medical inquiry... otherwise you could have "Doctor, doctor, what's brown and sticky?", "Doctor, doctor, why does Edward Woodward have so many 'w's in his name?", etc...

[maviscruet.livejournal.com]

It was told to me as a Dr Dr Joke..... but your right. It's not very Doctor based.

[ringbark.livejournal.com]

Why does Edward Woodward have so many 'w's in his name?
Shouldn't that be "so many 'd's"?
Because the punchline always used to be ewar-woowar, which seems much sillier than edard-oodard.
Hmmm. Maybe only a *bit* sillier.

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

Heh, you're quite right -- bang goes my stand-up career!

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

which seems much sillier than edard-oodard

Although I think this would be a fine one to go for immediately after everyone's recovered their breath from the Ewar Woowar joke !