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Yesterday, I got into a Bad Joke Contest.

A Bad Joke Contest is a bad thing to get into with Bernard, because he knows very many bad jokes. Fortunately, so do I.

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I wrap myself in cling film instead of wearing clothes.
Doctor: Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.

Unfortunately, a lot of them seemed to be the same ones. I'm sure I used to know millions of Doctor, Doctor jokes, but they mostly seem to have deserted me. Even more annoyingly, I knew some of the ones he told, but had forgotten the punch line. (The billiard ball joke was one I clearly remembered from junior school, but had to be told "Go to the end of the cue".)

Accordingly, I solicit your best (or worst) Doctor, Doctor joke. Just the one... and no sending me links to pages with a thousand and one of them.

My favourite remains one Ian Hislop told on HIGNFY some years ago:

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Doctor: Well, I'm sorry, but we don't have any beds.
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