Does my bum look big in this ?

[venta]

Hmm.
This isn't something I expected to hear myself say. It's certainly not something I expect you to bother reading. However...

Last week sometime, I tried on a pair of black trousers. They were my size, fitted nicely over the waist, were a little tight across the hips, unpleasantly tight down to the knees, then flared ridiculously over the ankles. Humph, I said.

This has happened a few times. Some dopey fashion designer decided a couple of years back that trousers should perhaps be skin-tight from hip to knee, then flare out. Lord knows why. Ask a passing thirteen year old, they all seem to be wearing them.

My reaction to encountering such unflattering trousers has been to put them back on the shelf and go looking for something nicer.

However. On Saturday, the trousers someone had ordered for Boojum's new kit arrived and were distributed. We wanted trousers which looked as much like our old ones as possible (ie black and largely lycra, no pockets, same fastenings), and the final choice had been made when I wasn't there. The trousers were ordered from a catalogue, and hey presto.

You can guess where this is going, can't you ?

I didn't like the design we chose in the first place (no pockets ? I ask you), and these are worse. Although they're clearly my size, they are far too tight round the thighs for me to be comfortable wearing them. Not only do they look bad, but as I move around they start to shuffle upwards and, not being loose enough to slide down again, end up in wrinkles at the tops of my legs. Bah. None of the others in the team has this problem.

So, what it boils down to is that my thighs are too large for these trousers, and I don't have much option but to wear them. Throwing a hissy fit and storming out of Boojum because they won't order new kit for everyone to suit me isn't my style. Besides, apparently the trousers "look fine" on me. I'm not, however, happy or comfy wearing them, and in about three weeks I will be doing so while standing on stages in various parts of Massachusetts. Since they were all bought together to match, buying myself an alternative pair isn't really an option. Since the material seems to be largely elastane, it's unlikely they'll stretch much, either.

I don't want comments saying "but you're not fat"[*], and as far as I'm concerned dieting can sod right off. If anyone has any practical methods of toning thighs in three weeks that might be useful, but to be honest I was really just having a bit of a whinge.

Why do people design clothes like this ? Not many people can wear them and look good, and an awful lot of people do wear them and look bad unnecessarily. They might, in fact, have been expressly designed to make slim people feel fat - and I really don't see who benefits from that at all. I'd blame a cynical fashion industry, but I can't think what they gain from it.

Special offer, unlimited time: Buy these clothes and get a free poor self-image.

[*] Although admittedly comments saying "well, you are fat" are equally unwelcome :)

Comments

[dmh.livejournal.com]

D'you know, there are no half-decent thigh shots of you on boojum.co.uk at all? :o.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Oh, I get pissed off with trousers like that. What you have to do is open up the inside leg seam about halfway down to the knees and under the crotch, and put in a sort of gusset thing, like in tights except sideways, then they fit fine. It also gets rid of the meeting of four seams in what's obviously a very convenient place for men (twixt dick and bollocks) but a very irritating place for women (right where things vulva become sticky-out).

[ebee.livejournal.com]

I've found excatly this problem when trying to buy some 'sensible black trousers'. Please let me know if you find a solution - granted I wont be rapper-ing in them but running after small children at day care centers.
All the best in America!

[wimble.livejournal.com]

Find some generous volunteer to massage your thighs a lot?

You can guess where this is going, can't you ?

[lnr]

IME thighs become disproportionately large if you're slim but muscley. I don't know if this is what it is in your case, maybe it's just one area where you're not the shape "normal" women are. I think many women find this in one respect or another. With my it's my waist.

I hate hipster style trousers but am beginning to think they might have to be then answer for me, since my waist is simply too big for the rest of me. I have one pair of jeans that fit on the waist and there's room for a whole extra bum in them, not to mention several pairs of socks in the front of my pants without anyone noticing. And the jeans which fit nice on my hips and are the right sort of size in the crotch and thighs are so tight on the waist I can't wear them without getting indigestion, unless I never sit down or bend over.

[j4.livejournal.com]

I sympathise -- many of my trousers are too tight on the thighs (I blame the cycling!). And those that aren't are too big on the waist. And all of them are too long for me, but that's just because I'm short.

A possibly-ridiculous suggestion -- would wearing a pair of those shape/control tights underneath tuck the thighs in a bit? (Disclaimer: I have never tried them and have absolutely no idea to what extent they are effective.) It might also mean that the trousers slipped back down again after bunching up a bit, if the tights were sheer-ish. Does that make any sense at all?

Another ridiculous suggestion -- some kind of loops from the bottoms of the trousers to the tops of your socks/shoes might ensure that the trousers didn't ride up. Not sure how you'd do this, mind.

The only time I've had any success with hipster trousers was when I bought a pair for a fiver in a cheap-shop, not realising that they were hipsters; when I realised my mistake the shop wouldn't do a refund, so I sold the trousers on eBay (BNWT!), hoping to get back at least a smidgen of my stupidly-misspent cash ... and got 15 quid for them. :-)

Let the wind blow high, let the wind blow low, Through the streets in my half masts I'll go,

[stegzy.livejournal.com]

Have you noticed how many short fat men there are? Well us tall fat men dont like them shorties....you know why?? Because you can always get keks at 40 inch waist to fit a short arse. But hardly ever to fit a tall chap.

It's degrading walking round in half masts!

"oooh nice shorts Mr Gnomepants!"
"No...they're my troos!"

I now know how Donald felt when he lost his troos.

Bah humbug. ;-)

[secondhand-rick.livejournal.com]

I don't want comments saying "but you're not fat"... Although admittedly comments saying "well, you are fat" are equally unwelcome :)

I'm confused. Are we allowed to call you a biffa or not?

[condign.livejournal.com]

You're going to be in my neck of the woods? And you didn't tell me??? ;)

[secretrebel.livejournal.com]

I hear your pain.

But I do think you should have been able to try the kit on before you bought it. Feeling uncomfortable in clothes is horrible. Now I'm having flashbacks to those days at school when if you 'forgot your PE kit' you were forced to wear old badly-fitting kit from the spares box.


::: shudder :::

[(Anonymous)]

Don't make suggestions on toning etc. They won't be useful. This shape is hereditary = I've been trying and failing to slim my thighs since before Venta was my bump! Given that so many of us have this problem, what cigarette-legged bastard of a designer decrees the shape of trousers>