He gets intimidated by the dirty pigeons

[venta]

What have I done to offend the local fauna ?

I just went into the garden to bring my washing in. There, in the middle of the line, was my lovingly-handwashed, carefully-pegged out, cream moleskin shirt. And some bastard bird has crapped all over it. My ornithological skills stop short of being able to tell you what kind of bird it was. Something large. Possibly a moa.

First foxes, now birds. What next ?

Comments

[erming.livejournal.com]

A small dog snapping at your ankles while you do a rapper dance?

A heavily molting but very friendly cat?

A hamster with a taste for blood?

[venta.livejournal.com]

A small dog snapping at your ankles while you do a rapper dance?

A couple of years ago, a member of North British rapper did have to go to casualty following a terrier-attack in an Oxford pub while dancing. I believe he still bears the scars.

[erming.livejournal.com]

Ouch :-(

Still I guess you've got to suffer for art.

Mum had her gardening gloves carted off by a fox. She found one in the undergrowth a few days later and the other one half buried a month later.

[diffrentcolours]

Blur -"Parklife"

[venta.livejournal.com]

Hmm. It's a very well known song, but it is a line from it that confuses a few people.

So, do you deserve a whole kudo, or merely a half-kudo ?

[diffrentcolours]

I'm quite happy with a half, thanks, I've just eaten.

[hirez.livejournal.com]

Flying foxes. A hangliding badger display team after a night of vindaloo, Tennant's Super and vigorous jumping up and down. Flying sheep. A fondue set. A revolutionary trotskyite pig piloting a stolen muckspreader.

What next ?

[ewx.livejournal.com]

Revenge next. Don't get mad, get even.

Re: What next ?

[venta.livejournal.com]

Peanuts coated in cyanide, you think ?

Re: What next ?

[ewx.livejournal.com]

What else?

Friday 13th

[marjory.livejournal.com]

some bastard bird had crapped all over it

It's lucky when that happens, so I have been informed when I have been present at the crimescenes of other such avian evacuations. Or is that just when you are wearing the clothes? No - I've never swallowed that one either (the idea as opposed to the guano. I would never deliberately swallow guano, not even for a big clock).

I was very nearly attacked by a truly dopey spaniel-collie cross today (brains from spaniel, size from collie). In comparison to this, I feel that your experiences have a certain verve, class and applomb. Embrace your local wildlife, as it is embracing you.

[erming.livejournal.com]

Clearly you need to get revenge.

Get someone to piss in a bird's nest and see how they like it...

[erming.livejournal.com]

Even better put a dollop of marmite in an animal's nest.

It'll be driven away from it's home by the evilness of it and by other animals invading after a bite of marmite...