You had a scowl like a Klingon beauty queen

[venta]

Probably of no interest to anyone who doesn't live in Oxford. Possibly of not much interest to anyone who does, either :)

Walking along Cornmarket yesterday evening, we overheard someone saying "But what is it ? Is it art ? No, it's bollocks."

They were talking about the extremely peculiar benches which have appeared. There's several of them, on both sides of Cornmarket. A sort of upright, with chrome and wood benches down one side, and chrome and wood... things down the other. The things are nearly benches, but are too high, and utterly the wrong shape. Does anyone know what they are ? Or possibly why they are.

If there's anyone in the area with a camera who can provide a photo, that'd help immensely here :)

And this morning, on Cowley Rd, I observed in the window of the empty shop opposite Boots the plans for the Cowley Rd redevelopment. Which were actually quite interesting. They seem to be based round making it a more people-orientated and safer place but - get this - seem to have finally noticed that reducing parking and slapping down sleeping policemen doesn't actually make the cars go away. From a quick skim through, it actually sounded like they might make a sensible job of it. Brief summary of what I can remember:

• Put crossings in places people want to cross. This applies particularly to the zebra down by the Plain. Move/ditch some of the traffic islands which make it difficult for buses to get through.


• Stop people parking too close to junctions. Mark out proper bays where people can park.


• More cycle lanes/signs warning motorists to watch out for bikes.


• Impose 20mph speed limit. (Hardly relevant in the day at present, but people go along like bats out of hell at night)


• Put the bus stops closer to the places people want to go - like Tescos - and make them long enough for more than one bus at once.


• Widen pavements where possible, and make sure bike racks don't block pavements.

All pretty common-sense stuff, you'd think. There's also a plan to have some form of symbolic 'gateway', to be decided with local artists, at either end of the main shopping part of the road. This is supposed to make motorists more aware that they're entering an area of a slightly different nature. I'm imagining them doing something similar in principle to the big gateways at either end of Mumblemumble Street (Gerard ?) in Chinatown in Soho. I rather like this idea. Cowley Rd is a good place, and I think it should be celebrated.

I was planning to recommend everyone go to http://www.eastoxford.com and have a look at the plans, but it appears that that site has expired :( Have a look if you're on Cowley Rd, though.


Oh, and Joe Jackson is great. I sporadically forget this, but am currently remembering.

Comments

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

All pretty common-sense stuff, you'd think

Actually I disagree with quite a bit of it...

Put crossings in places people want to cross

On that kind of road it won't make much difference. Whenever traffic is very slow, people will cross anyway.

Stop people parking too close to junctions.

This is already illegal. Why not try actually prosecuting the people who do it ?

Mark out proper bays where people can park

These already exist, so implicitly this is: "allocate more parking". Or, to put it another way: "reduce pavement space". (Can't reduce the road space because it's already as narrow as it can be and still get buses up it.)

More cycle lanes/signs warning motorists to watch out for bikes.

As a cyclist I'm dead against this. Cycle lanes invariably get blocked by things and then the motorists are surprised when the bikes leave their lane.

Impose 20mph speed limit.

WTF for ? Yes, people go too fast down that road, but they're not sticking to 30 !

Widen pavements where possible

See earlier comment (Taking space from the road ? There isn't any spare !)

The relocation of bus stops is the only bit I like the sound of, in fact !

[smiorgan.livejournal.com]

The things are nearly benches, but are too high, and utterly the wrong shape. Does anyone know what they are ? Or possibly why they are.

It's obvious, silly! They're makeshift market stalls for local squirrels and rodents, to help them get a foot into Oxford's cut-and-thrust haberdashery business.

<sings> Or maybe midgets. </sings>

[cardinalsin.livejournal.com]

The relocation of bus stops is the only bit I like the sound of, in fact !

Amusingly that was the only one which stood out to me as pointless. I can't imagine the money spent changing this will actually be worth the net effect (e.g., there is a bus stop near Tescos. It isn't right outside the front door, but it isn't exactly a five minute walk away either).

[venta.livejournal.com]

On that kind of road it won't make much difference. Whenever traffic is very slow, people will cross anyway.

The traffic usually isn't slow by the Plain, and people cross where they want to cross instead of on the rather poorly placed zebra.

This is already illegal. Why not try actually prosecuting the people who do it ?

They do this. They're very keen on parking tickets in East Oxford. It presumably doesn't help. Besides if you're trying to turn out of a junction and can't see the oncoming traffic because some silly sod's parked in the way, it's not very consoling to know they might be prosecuted for it.

I'm not usually keen on those concrete blob things to stop parking, but think they could do some good in some places.

These already exist, so implicitly this is: "allocate more parking

The do in some places. Other places are double-yellow. Presumably new bays are intended to clarify the places which are neither, and also boundaries close to junctions.

See earlier comment (Taking space from the road ? There isn't any spare !)

Obviously, they can't widen them everywhere. I was meaning that since they appear to be aware of all the various problems (not enough pavement, not enough road, etc) that I thought they might manage to make the best use of available space.

There was some weird plan to create a 'community space' somewhere near Tesco that I think will flounder due to lack of space. What people want and what there's space for isn't always practically reconcilable.

[venta.livejournal.com]

It isn't right outside the front door, but it isn't exactly a five minute walk away either).

In fairness, you're not an elderly person struggling to carry their shopping a few yards.

[cardinalsin.livejournal.com]

Then they should recycle the elderly to make space for wider pavements!

[venta.livejournal.com]

Hurrah! Cardinalsin for East Oxford MP!

[wimble.livejournal.com]

Certainly, if they get rid of some of the traffic islands, it'll improve the flow of traffic. There are many occasions when a vehicle (frequently a badly parked car) leaves too little room for a bus to get between it and the traffic island in the middle of the road, and all the traffic just stops, while the bus driver attempts to squeeze through.

Easing that up will mean that the traffic does flow faster, and there will be fewer slow times for pedestrains to safely cross, without some kind of regulation.

[smiorgan.livejournal.com]

Cycle lanes? No way. Cycle lanes turn responsible motorists into sanctemoneous wankers. And they get parked on by the kind of wanker who thinks hazard lights are a sign that "I am about to make an illegal manoever".

Cycle signs? Better idea - especially ones that read "coppers cycle up and down this road, day and night".

As for the rest of it - signs that say "vehicles left here will be clamped" for those spots where the buses pass the traffic islands would be a good thing, except for the fact that if you clamp an offending vehicle, it then obstructs the bus. Better to have a bylaw that allows pedestrians to vandalise stupidly parked vehicles. Maybe with council-provided baseball bats. Perhaps the Mayor could inaugurate the scheme by bringing a gold-painted bat to the windscreen of a badly paked, bodykitted BMW with furry dice and a jeweled tissue box on the parcel shelf.

[strange-complex.livejournal.com]

There's also a plan to have some form of symbolic 'gateway', to be decided with local artists, at either end of the main shopping part of the road.

This sounds great. It's very much in keeping with Roman uses of monumental arches to define 'special' spaces in their cities, and therefore I approve (on the grounds that anything Roman is good!).

Penny

[cardinalsin.livejournal.com]

I think the candidate for East Oxford has some competition...

[narenek.livejournal.com]

Don't forget the blue underlighting (though this may not be evident in a parked car).

[addedentry.livejournal.com]

I've been away from Oxford too long to comment, except to say that the idea of gateways reminds me of the postcards you could once buy showing Cowley Road transformed into a beach. (Not yet Lib Dem policy?)

[venta.livejournal.com]

I saw a little red metro with a red strip light underneath, the other day. neilh tells me such things are called cruise lights.

[narenek.livejournal.com]

Just because they have a name, doesn't make them any less Wrong.

[phlebas.livejournal.com]

As a cyclist I'm dead against this. Cycle lanes invariably get blocked by things and then the motorists are surprised when the bikes leave their lane.
Or you get the situation they had when they first put a cycle lane down Abingdon Road, whereby they introduced a lovely cycle lane but neglected to leave enough width of road to fit, say, a car.

[wimble.livejournal.com]

Judging from the activity I saw lunchtime, they're at the right height for people to lean their bums on, rather than sitting down completely.

Whether that's the intended use is another question, of course.

[venta.livejournal.com]

We did wonder about that. And indeed, experimentally leaned our bums on some. But it didn't seem to be the right height for anyone, or particularly comfortable.

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

The ideas about cycle lanes and wider pavements seem to me to be incompatible. Cowley road isn't terribly wide anywhere, and I don't see how you can put a cycle lane in without getting the space from something else.

If they just mean on the approach to the Plain then I guess that could work, but outside Tesco, for instance, how are they going to fit in a cycle lane and still get two buses past each other, even if they have taken out the bollards?

Of course they could go for the Cycle Lane of Death ploy, by having a cycle lane that buses can use and that occasionally vanishes for short stretches at precisely the points where the road is too narrow for motorists to give cyclists enough room.

[wimble.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's just that you've got an anomalous bum?

[venta.livejournal.com]

I doubt they'll be able to put cycle lanes in in a lot of places. And the current proposals are based on "what you (the public) said they wanted", which is of course wider pavements everywhere, wider roads everywhere, more cycle lanes everywhere, and a doughnut.

I was thinking from the sound of the plans - I didn't have time to look at the drawings in detail - that it sounded that they were going to look at all these things, and do a best fit job. Which is pretty much all they can owing to the space constraints. Hopefully they'll be able to make some difference in some of the most problematic places.

[venta.livejournal.com]

It seems the seats are indeed meant only to be bum rests:

[the] seats are curved and are only meant to be "perched" on for a short time

(from http://www.thisisoxfordshire.co.uk/oxfordshire/archive/2004/04/02/TOPNEWS0ZM.html, which can have a special award for a genuinely nasty search interface)

[wimble.livejournal.com]

According to an article in October 2001:

"The new benches look lovely. They are contemporary without being wacky."

Or, from April 2003:

"I think the seats look a bit like tombstones."

It's really not clear whether these quotes refer to the current seats.

On the other subject, I didn't find the search interface too bad: it's just htdig, without any thought applied to it (and it does need a little thought). On the other hand, the insistance on sticking a column of sections down the left-hand side, and a column of advert links down the right hand side, and doing that after you've introduced a wide gutter down both edges of the page is quite annoying anywhere on that site.

[venta.livejournal.com]

htdig ?

My main gripe with the search thing was that it doesn't show you the dates of the stories, which was a bit crippling since the Cornmarket saga has been running a fair old while. The rest of the interface was only a little annoying in places, but the lack of dates was such a glaringly stupid error it made me quite cross.

Both those comments could apply to the current seats. I couldn't find an "unveiling, with pictures" story, which was what I was hoping for. (And my failure to do so, coupled with its presumed existence, was also a minus for the search interface.)

[wimble.livejournal.com]

htdig (in my experience, anyway), is the archetypal free search engine. It's the one I use for my stuff, and works quite well, although it does require a little poking at (by default, it stems quite a lot of things which fouls up acronyms hideously, and only indexes words over three letters).

The first search option: select searching for "any", "all" or boolean was a dead giveaway :) So, on reflection, was the fact that the URL finishes with "htsearch" :)

The actual document information, when its been listed, is taken directly from the HTML title, which makes sense, when you consider that htdig will index any HTML document. What doesn't make sense, in this case, is that the site hasn't put the date in the document title.

I don't think they have got the pictures available. That first link I've cited finishes with **Picture: Jon Lewis, but no picture.

[leathellin.livejournal.com]

Having not seen the benches but read the descriptions I can hazard a guess for their strange design. You couldn't possibly sleep on one.
Same reason for the lovely comfortable benches in the Cowley park and the sloped lean on benches in the newer bus stops.

All very lovely.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Indeed. The article I linked to above does cite their unsleepability as a key feature of their design.

On the other hand, owing to the presence of arm rests, you couldn't sleep terribly comfortably on the proper sitty-down side, either. So that still doesn't explain why they thought it was necessary to make half the benches into perches.

[leathellin.livejournal.com]

Teenagers?
One word answers are us.

[mr-tom.livejournal.com]

Cornmarket in 'being ugly' shocker.... :-)

Having not see these works of genius, I suspect that the unusual shape would be to stop tramps sleeping on them. That's why benches are usually mangled...

Suggested improvement for Cowley Rd:

* Ban sale of Tennent's Super and Carlsberg Special Brew for 2 miles around.

Oxford-related developments

[strange-complex.livejournal.com]

By the way, those who are generally interested in this sort of thing might enjoy being members of the

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By the way, those who are generally interested in this sort of thing might enjoy being members of the <a href="http://www.oxfordbusiness.info/civic/index.htm"?>Oxford Civic Society</a>, which exists precisely to make sure the good folk of Oxford town get their say about it. And to run enjoyable days out along the lines of walking around Oxford and being told by knowledgable people about the historic features it has.

It only costs £5 a year to be a member, too.

By the way, I have no financial stake in this organisation or anything: I'm just a member myself, and happen to think it is a Jolly Good Thing.

Penny

[grumpeh.livejournal.com]

Excuse the randomness of my appearance - I'm having a slow day so I'm poking around other Oxfordian's LJs.

The OCC website has this page on the Cornmarket Tombstones (http://www.oxfordshire.gov.uk/index/travel/transportdevelopment/majorprojects-4/cornmarket_refurbishment/street_furniture.htm). Not found a website yet that explains why they cost twice as much...

[venta.livejournal.com]

Randoms always welcome :)

I'm confused about the inclusion of a 'wheelchair space'. I'd have thought that a person in a wheel chair could park themselves at the end of a normal bench, without needing to have a space left seat-free for them to fit. In fact I'd have thought it more convenient to do so.

Am I missing something obvious ?

[grumpeh.livejournal.com]

Given that the seats were designed either by an architect who has little contact with the "real world" or by a council committee... heaven only knows what the reasoning is. I can only imagine it's an attempt at appearing "inclusive", albeit in a silly and wasteful way (hands up who thinks the architects and builders charged more for including the empty space!).

8 sets of seats - 3 actual "seats" on each = 24 "seats" - that's £10,000 of your council tax pounds per chair. Alternatively (if you're a bitter and twisted Oxford resident like me) it's 8 "things" for packs of visiting EFL students to crowd around, blocking Cornmarket (at a cost of £30,000 per pack of students).

Wow, I am bored.

[venta.livejournal.com]

if you're a bitter and twisted Oxford resident

Having watched the council tax go up each year, and observed what they seem to be doing with it, it's a bit difficult to be any other kind of Oxford resident.

[narenek.livejournal.com]

Having taken a detour through Cornmarket yesterday to examine the items in question (and to get some cash from the bank), I propose that they are designed for the younger element of society to slouch or lean against. Thus enabling them loiter without having to lean against shop windows and the like.