venta | Another one for the ????

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Another one for the ????

Driving back from a bakery-raid with

grumblesmurf, he asked if I was familiar with the word chav.

I wasn't - apparently it means approximately the same as pikey. I was just filing this away in my mental Bag Of Words, when it suddenly occurred to me that it's basically the same word as charver.

Charver (spelling optional, I've only ever heard it said) was the insult of choice among some friends back in Darlington about three or four years ago. Again it (or its bizare relative charver-ding) were used in the same way pikey gets (mis)used, to mean anything from "thieving gipsy" to "scruffy little bastard".

Around at the same time was rarfer(-ding), again with the same meaning. I don't think I've heard them since, so they were maybe never particularly common currency.

Any offers, anyone ?

And I think I need a new phrase inventing: what do you call a bunch of people (that's you lot :) to whom you can pose questions, and whose collective brain you can trawl for information ? Something of the search engine, something of the test audience, something of the lab rat. Any ideas ?

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Chavs. (Apparently it's a bastardisation of a Romany word for something or other)

In other news: Ask the Gestalt. Or the Hive Mind.

'Question to the Floor' is, I believe, the usual expression...

(as in opening the question to the audience of a debate, or something)

Shaver. Child. A bit archaic, but definitely twentieth-century.

And perhaps the phrase you're looking for is "brains trust". It's the closest I can think of, at least.

"Brains trust" is very good, but "Oi, You Lot" tends to work just as well in practice.

"Chaver": I'll claim to have heard it (and the related verb form) once on the TFM Talk-In, which I haven't listened to for, ooh, five years. It didn't make much sense at the time; I misparsed it as "chewer", though the meaning was sufficiently clear from context.

Do you still listen to TFM at all ? If so, can you confirm rumours that it still has the exact same incredibly annoying Budget Windows jingle ?

Not by choice, but it's sometimes on in the pizza shop I visit every week or two.

The Budget Windows jingle doesn't ring bells - gasp! - but I can confirm that Bells Stores remain "only closed when you're asleep" and Frank from Frank's Factory Flooring still "loves carpets, me". They seem to be onto at least their second Frank now; perhaps the first one finally wore out his voice.

No-one gives you more! Than Budget! Budget!... Windows!

I remember it now. It probably won't leave my head and I will have to sing it in a PhonePost to get it out of my system.

Cheers, chum.

<sings>See the world through a Budget Window! Come home through a Budget Door!</sings>

I'm so pleased you remembered :)

I had mercifully forgotten about Frank and his carpets. A few years back, Fraser (Frank's son) was in the adverts - and having conferred with some people in the TFM studio, he was really was every bit as much of an irritating little twat as he sounded on the ads )

Bells Stores were conveniently mine (or possibly "conveniently yours") in my day, they made no estimates about when I slept.

You KNOW you've MADE! The RIGHT! CHOICE! NO-ONE! Gives you MORE!

I have half a feeling that the jingle has been remixed once or twice somewhere along the line - I've heard a couple of different rhythm patterns for the final "budget, budget windows" and there was a spectacular, pseudo-rock-concert orchestration at one point.

Wasn't Fraser the Court Kitchens (later Court Homemakers) kid?

Aaaaagh :-(

Wasn't Fraser the Court Kitchens (later Court Homemakers) kid?

Ooooh, now you might be right there.

If it's any consolation, I've set myself off singing the Budget Windows song too. And from then it's only a small step to The red car and the blue car had a race..., and I'll be unlivable with for the rest of the week.

Don't click here (RealAudio) and even less should you click here (.wav). This represents my attempt to get revenge for the Budget Windows song. Both work-safe, neither sanity-safe.

From this discussion last May.

"Brains Trust" may, however, be confused with the very funny website...

Well ... the only one I can tell you about is the charver ... which in and around Newcastle is still going strong ... I even found a site dedicated to them ... With a Dictionary (http://www.newcastlestuff.com/charver/dictionary.html) and a <A HREF="http://www.newcastlestuff.com/charver/masterclass.html>Masterclass</A>. And some other bits and bobs.

Aye, that sounds about right.

Still a bit mystified by the -ding, though :)

(I was also about to ask you what on earth you were doing in Newcastle, having initially mistaken you for

grahamb, who also uses that picture of V as an icon :)

I have heard it used as a noun and as a verb ... and hence someone could be charvering around, which in turn would be dead close to the ding ... and hence it would be something like bahaving like a charver.

About the icon ... I have nicked it of someone not too long ago as I board with the dredful picture myself, so it might well have been Graham's Icon I nicked.

I like V ... and the news that there is talk of turning it into a movie fills me with dredd, I mean it could be done quite well ... but the whole point of V is that you don't know who he is, imagine a big name actor who'd be trying to play him ... argh ... that might well be worse then Stalone's Judge Dredd.

the whole point of V is that you don't know who he is

Help, I hadn't thought of that in film terms. The mask-removing scene in the book is so great... they're pretty much bound to break it in a film.

Bother.

Hmm... I wonder. Could they actually keep quiet who the actor playing V was, and use that as a gimmick to advertise the film ? I wonder. Bet they don't.

But only if it was some not very famous person,
and seeing that it would be the starring role in big movie I doubt that.

Yes I fear the whole thing would be so broken ... and still I would have to go and see it, just in case it isn't dreddful.

Well I just found this (http://www.screenwritersutopia.com/script_reviews/v_for_vendetta.html).A script review for a V script by the Wachowski brothers ... even though I don't neccessarily agree with the writer of thhe article I am still sure that 95% sure it'll be rubbish.

We can only wait and watch ...

Shudder. The concept of a V for vendetta movie has never even occured to me. That makes the hellblazaer Keanu Reeves as Constaine abomination they've made sound almost pleasent.

It's a Moore Book for gawd sake. It's not filmable! Certainly not trying to keep 1/100 of the story he crams into the story. The only way to ever do this is to slice out the detail and try and keep the heart. And frankly, I've seen league of extrodianry gentlemen.

And that guy should really read the graphic novel. I know I was worried when he refered to it as 'graphic novel'.

But sadly it might happen. Moore has shown that he is willing to, in the words of Gamen "watch his children get bbq'd" for cash.

Wonder who they'd introduce as the Unneccesary Extra American to try and boost USA viewing figures? Nicole Kidman as V's secret lover sidekick W?

Brilliant !

No... wait... AWFUL ! Never go near a film set. Ever !

Well,

Hellblazer, you see ... some bits of it could translate nicely, and so I will have to go and see that, yet I fear it will be another 'cheap' copy.

V ... well yes quite ... I think the guy missed the point a little, or maybe he is speaking for typical modern audiences where they don't want to think ...

League ... well most certainly an entertaining watch but no comparison ... I mean I like Sean ... but he needed to be darker ... more ... well bad side to him and not quite so Hollywood ... but hey ... still a movie I will watch again some afternoon ...

Well ... Neil Gaiman is looking at making a film ... which should be grand ... when I found out I wrote this ... post in my LJ (http://lambertbehnke.livejournal.com/63034.html) which I hope will be fab. Of course this is different as he is not cashing in on previous work ...

That makes the hellblazaer Keanu Reeves as Constaine abomination they've made

Good lord, they haven't, have they ?

I read ages back that there were steps in the pipeline to make a Hellblazer film set in NYC, with Constantine a NY citizen. And then I heard that it had been shelved, and there was much rejoicing.

Constantine practically is London, I can't see how it'll translate.

Hmmm... who would we like to see play Constantine ? I'd have thought Hellblazer much more filmable than V for Vendetta: I think it could actually be done well. Much more filmable than From Hell, too :)

Oh yes. There are shots in SciFi Mag and everything. It's bloody hideious. There is so much wrong with it.

And your right, hellblazer is much more filmable. And still they c*ck it up that much! what chance would V have of being made for the love of god!

Picture on this page.

http://www.comicscontinuum.com/stories/0401/07/index.htm

Shudder. Although nice effect's.....

No! No!
You can't make me look at the pictures!

It's worse:

Constantine is from LA.
The archangel Gabriel is a woman.
Hell is actually a small suburb of Chicago.

That last I'm making up. Either that, or I'm giving clueless WB execs ideas.

Yes. I can. And you did ;-)

Oh was that what that was. I assumed it was some crap Matrix joke I didn't get.

who would we like to see play Constantine

The original rumours were for Nicholas Cage. Keanu is the punishment the Moore-loving world gets for saying "no, no, you can't have Constantine played by Cage, that would be ridiculous".

What with From Hell, LXG and now this, I think we can confirm the well-known claim that "Alan Moore / knows the score". The score is that you make more money from bad movies than good comics. I reckon the next ought to be Top 10: at least that was supposed to be a farce.

Are they anything like gadgees, who (along with the tinks), used to come to Blairgowrie of a summer to pick the strawbs and increase the crime rate?

As for us lot, I'd call us 'mugs'.

We used to use gadgie jsut to be a word for 'bloke' - maybe a northern equivalent of geezer, or something.

Irrelevantly, Mordue's in Newcastle do a very nice beer called Radgie Gadgie. (Which would, of course, be such a bloke in a temper).

..."Search Rats" ?

I like think tank, but only because it makes me feel important.

The verb "to chav" is a local (North Surrey) colloquialism; it means to steal, blag or acquire something by nefarious means. Can be used with the ending - ing as in "You chavvin' some?" Haven't heard it specifically used as an alternative to "pikey" though.

How about a lurchengine? (referring to to both the function and the average organisedness of your collective audience, specially in the morning :o) )

I only just came across the word "chav" today too - I think in the hagiography of Morrissey I've been reading. How odd!

How about the panel? Thus when you post such queries you put a question to the panel. Or maybe I grew up with "Any Questions" playing in the background of weekend lunchtimes too often...

Nah, panels are selected :)

Besides, you lot actually duck questions rather less often than the Any Questions people.

What's wrong with "friends"? That's whom I use when the need arises.

Nothing wrong as such, just I tend to think that in asking a question on LJ I'm potentially throwing it open to

all and

sundry rather than just friends.

None of the terms suggested so far has really grabbed me though (I like "lurch engine", but it's not that obvious what I mean by it). As someone pointed out, "Oi, you lot" has been working perfectly well, so I'll probably stick with that.

Chav Scum

"God Knows I'm Good" - best Bowie evah

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Another one for the ????

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To me it seems he only read the script

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Chav