Like a circle in a spiral

[venta]

Very slightly over a year ago, I wrote:

So, for 2014: evaluate life. Work out how to fit things in to it. Learn new stuff.

At the end of March, I wrote my first quarterly report on the resolution, which decided that progress was, frankly, not brilliant.

Then I didn't write any more quarterly reports, which may give you a clue how things went overall.

The summary points from the first quarterly report were that:

1. Swapping a 90 minute commute for a 45 minute commute is not the time-saver you might imagine. I used to get a lot of stuff done on the two 50-minute train journeys each day.

2. I was learning a lot of new stuff in the course of my new job, but entirely in an ad hoc as-I-needed-to way, rather than any sort of planned study.

3. I was at least writing more, even if it wasn't always high quality, on account of Writers' Triangle.

4. I was failing to fit in much exercise. I'd started yoga, but was a bit rubbish at it.

If I were to summarise the year, it'd probably be about the same.

I did start going to yoga classes before work, and stuck with them until I injured my thumb in October (Ashtanga yoga requires a lot of weight on your hands. I can now just about yog again, although it still hurts). Although I'm appalling at getting out of bed, and hate the idea of leaving the house around 6am, I have to concede that I do feel way better on days that have started with some yoga. I need to get back into the swing of it. I remain quite rubbish at it.

Writers' Triangle (a small circle where the other vertices are chrestomancy and lathany) remained the significant spur to writing - often in a hurry, with a lot of muttered cursing. I did produce some pretty awful dross over the summer, which the others had to suffer through, but I've produced some bits I was happy with as well. I should still work on writing more cheerful stories, though. My attempt to write a "nice" Christmas story saw confused expressions all around as people tried to work out who would die horribly, go mad, be eaten by a grue, etc (answer: no one! it was a nice Christmas story!)

I still feel at little at sea, technologically-speaking, in my not-so-new job. However, there are times when I do feel like I'm getting the hang of it. I've learned a lot of stuff, and still am. I probably would benefit from some serious sitting down and learning, rather than picking up enough to get by. That does require a lot of effort, though, as I struggle to learn programming stuff in an abstract sense - I'm much better at learning the bits I need to solve a concrete problem at hand.

(Actually, in the not-so-new job, I still feel rather at sea non-technologically-speaking. I've gone from being the normal-ish one in an office of geeky weirdos to being the weirdo in a pretty non-geeky office. But that's a separate issue, and much harder to address ;)

The biggie, though, is the lack of time and fitting things in. I've spent about the last six months in a constant flurry of worrying about the things I haven't done, forgetting the things I should have done, realising about that thing I should have done yesterday, apologising for those other three things I didn't do last week... etc. I feel as if I've had short days in short weeks, and have been busy almost continuously. By December I was struggling to get out of bed, ending up getting into work a little late - so leaving late - then either dashing somewhere, or going home to flop. Looking at my calendar suggests I wasn't actually all that busy, though. So it's obviously at least partly attitude and perception. I also have a weird muscular tic in one eye, which suggests that at least some part of me thinks it's stressed.

I think avoiding this situation is probably something that ought to be high up the list for fixing this year.

So, not a success overall, really.

Things to concentrate on this year:

I'm not quite clear how to solve the thing that was a problem all last year: never quite having time for anything. I think probably ensuring that I have at least one decent chunk of un-planned time per week is a good start. (Yup, I did just work out that Doing Less Stuff will lead to Having More Time. Genius, eh?)

Plus I need to get on with things in small chunks rather than trying to tackle everything at once. Tidying the flat is a mammoth task that clearly needs a weekend; doing fifteen minutes of tidying frequently would probably make at least an appreciable dent in it, though. Yes, I am familiar with the sound principles of UFYH, however my H remains F'd because I don't actually practice them.

In an ideal world, I'll get to bed sufficiently early that I'll wake up full of beans when the alarm goes off, leap out of bed, be on time for work, and leave with a decent amount of evening, which I will spend usefully (possibly grooming my unicorn and teaching my piglets barrel rolls).

I was given a wakey-up sunshine light for Christmas, which I am currently endeavouring to put all my faith in (if I believe in it, it'll work, right?) I also have membership of an online meditation/mindfulness program, which I should probably pick up again. I have a whole bunch of thoughts on mindfulness, but I'll save them for another day :)

Other than that, if anyone else has any useful suggestions for how to actually move this plan past the on-paper stage, I'd love to hear them. Some variation on this has basically been my problem for years.

On the subject of ongoing problems, the knee that's been a bit of a bother for years has become a lot of a bother. And the resulting strain on the good knee means that it's now complaining as well. My physio packed me off to hospital a month or so back; the hospital reckons there's very little to be done. My patello-femoral joint is suffering wear and tear, and that's just A Thing. It's exacerbated by my (I quote) "unusual biomechanics", and apparently I also have weak gluteal muscles. So, flat feet and a feeble bum :)

Since then I've been making an extra effort to do my physio exercises regularly. I'm also - mostly thanks to having injured myself out of yoga - currently heavier than I've ever been to the tune of about three-quarters of a stone. Which, while not much in the grand scheme of things, is probably not helping with the knees.

So, regular physio exercises, regular normal exercise, and lose a little bit of weight. Sounds like non-stop fun :)

Plus, of course, I have a minor resolution of drinking nothing but water in January to raise money for WaterAid.

Comments

[lathany.livejournal.com]

I read all this and wanted to say stuff, so I'll give it a try.

I'm really enjoying Writers' Triangle so I'm glad it's working out (and I'm now finding I'm needing to write stuff regularly to have things to bring - I have half a chapter to go). Also, we're in for a dry January, so that might help a bit with weight loss and, in turn, the knee.

I've had past problems with the combination of lack of time and too much stress. I don't have a great solution to it - my own in the end was to cut out as much as possible and then to add things back in slowly. It worked for me, but that may be partly luck.

As for the light - could you let us know how it worked? I have issues with this time of year and would be interested in a solution.