And then I'll kiss your salty lips

[venta]

Yesterday evening I was sitting on the sea-front at Ramsgate, eating fish and chips. They were pretty good fish and chips, actually. However, the menu bewildered me...



The "sundries" section. Right there. Curry sauce? Fair enough. Mushy peas? Well, I'd rather not but I hear some people like that kind of thing. Pea fritter? You what? I mean, I understand the concept, but since when has that been a thing that you get in a chippy? Pickled onion, fine. Pickled egg, ditto (whatever dmh tells you). Pickled... wally?

I'm also faintly alarmed that the curry sauce isn't vegetarian. What's it got in it? I'd have assumed the basic list of flour, water, oil, curry powder and radioactive waste (with local variations to taste).

Oh, and a roll and butter? Not bloody likely. I'm in a chip shop. The sort where you sit down at a formica-topped table and drink tea that dissolves the enamel off your teeth. If I want bread and butter with my meal, I want sliced bread, pre-buttered for me (or possibly even pre-marged) and cut diagonally. I'm not saying that's better, I'm saying that that's what happens in chip shops. This roll nonsense is just messing with the natural order of things[*].

When I first moved to Oxford, I was horrified to discover that the Carfax Chippy - an otherwise decent emporium - didn't serve scraps. And indeed were completely confused when I ordered them (initially as to what it was I wanted, and latterly as to why I wanted such things). Scraps are the drips of batter which have fallen off the fish - basically little blobs of deep-fried batter. No, of course they didn't serve them. They threw them away when they cleared the oil out. They also didn't serve baby's heads.

So, what are your expectations of a good chip shop? Do you expect pea fritters? Would you order a pickled wally? Am I the only person south of Scotch Corner who likes scraps? What can't you get where you now live, that was a stand-by where you grew up?

As a side note, my parents (if not paying proper attention) will inadvertently order "a fish and six". This is, apparently, a fish with 6d-worth of chips. Whether they get a sensible answer depends largely on the age of the person serving. Is anyone else familiar with this?

(A wally, for those who want to know, is a gherkin. I asked on the way out.)

[*] Chip butties are an exception. I'm talking about the bread served with your fish and chips in a sit-down eatery. But even for a chip butty I don't want a roll, I want a flat, soft bread bun or bap. Which may have been what they meant. See also: bread, confusing regional terminology for.

Comments

[uitlander]

A 'pickled wally' is a gherkin, or at least that's what my family thinks it means on a chip shop menu. The family is mostly London-based with a distant branch known as 'The Ramsgate Mob'.

[uitlander]

Being rather wary of fish I look for other menu items to make a chip shop 'good'. Obviously the chips have to be good. A decent line in sausages or scampi is always appreciated. Having Mayonnaise and tartar sauce is a bonus, not charging extra for them even better, asking before they cover things with salt and vinegar is also good (I tend to avoid the salt).

I discovered 'scraps' when I liven in Lancaster. Rather good, something that needs to be imported down south.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Well, it seems that Peter's Fish Factory (at least) agrees with your family :)

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

I'd order a pickled wally without knowing what it was, just on principle.

My only real requirement for a chip shop is that the chips must be good. Bonus points if they serve rock, because nothing beats rock. 8-)

[venta.livejournal.com]

I'd order a pickled wally without knowing what it was, just on principle.

Yeah, in general, so would I. Especially at only 50p :)

Although yesterday I was fairly sure I didn't want a pickled egg, and I figured a wally was going to be a pickle of approximately similar magnitude, so felt I wasn't going to want one.

Bonus points if they serve rock, because nothing beats rock. 8-)

Paper, surely!

[beckyc.livejournal.com]

I'm more worried about the mineral water not being vegetarian.

(Unless, of course, the mineral water went through limestone and they were having a one-upping game with Silk soya milk who claim they use no animal derivatives and then say they use natural limestone for their calcium)

[venta.livejournal.com]

But surely, even in menus where things are labelled (v), it's not normal to label water as vegetarian?

The roll & butter aren't labelled (v), but I figure there are some things people will assume are vegetarian and you'd only need to mention it if they were unexpectedly not. Then again, I'm surprised they labelled the pickles and the mushy peas...

[venta.livejournal.com]

Actually, I have an unrelated question to which you might know the answer. Can you recommend a non-dairy milk-esque product which comes in smaller boxes/cartons/quantities?

A friend of mine sporadically drops round, and I try to have UHT soya milk in the cupboard so I can make her coffee. Unfortunately, that tends to mean I end up with an open carton of soya milk (less one coffee's worth) in the fridge, and I don't really like the stuff much. And an open carton isn't usually practical for her to take away. (And I don't want to ask her about this in case it sounds like I'm finding it a big problem. Which, of course, it isn't - soya milk is cheap - it's just a bit wasteful.)

In Tesco, I've spotted some weird tiny-tetrapak things of "lacto-free milk", but I'm not quite sure enough exactly what she's allergic to to know whether that would be ok. I think soya is her milky substance of preference.

Hmm. Can I freeze soya milk in ice cube trays and just get a cube or two out as required? Will it still be palatable?

[ringbark.livejournal.com]

What on God's earth is a pea fritter, whether (v) or not?

By the way, Scots don't speak the same language as the rest of us.
"Two fish suppers and a can of juice please".
Apparently, "X supper" translates to "X and chips", while "juice" means "unspecified soft drink".

In your universe, does a chip buttie need to have butter, marge, lard, mayo or similar, or is it OK with just bread and chips

[venta.livejournal.com]

I assume a pea fritter is mashed up peas, battered, and fried. I didn't order one to find out because I don't really like peas.

I am familiar with "fish supper" parlance, but wouldn't use it.

In your universe, does a chip buttie need to have butter, marge, lard, mayo or similar, or is it OK with just bread and chips

It is absolutely not OK with just bread and chips. I mean, you can put chips inside bread if you want, but it won't be a chip butty. Butter or marge. I'm not familiar with lard in there (though it doesn't sound appealing). Mayo is some kind of continental wrong-headed craziness.

[lanfykins.livejournal.com]

...you don't have fish suppers down south? What sort of crazy barbarian country is this?! O.o

(It's been eighteen years, but I'm still always disappointed when I look at a menu and it doesn't contain battered black pudding. Even though I couldn't eat it now anyway.)

[hoiho.livejournal.com]

In certain parts of Scotland (the western central belt, mainly), "ginger" will be used instead of "juice", and again means "unspecified soft drink". (As an aside, I gather that in Atlanta, Georgia, all soft drinks, of whatever type are referred to as "Coke").

On the East Coast of SCotland, the chippy oddity is their love of "salt'n'soss" on their fried food. "Soss" being some sort of bastard amalgam of brown sauce and vinegar.

[mr-tom.livejournal.com]

Ooh, now I wants a chippy tea.

[huskyteer.livejournal.com]

I would certainly expect pea fritters. Also pineapple fritters.

(I've never ordered one. I just expect it.)

[ringbark.livejournal.com]

I like banana fritters when I can get them. But surely peas aren't big enough to fritt?

A naughty friend created http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spam_fritter which has since been edited extensively to take out the naughty bits.
I countered with http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raspberry_Ripple which still has the naughty bit, though it has been simplified. And the article has been used in the Torygraph too - http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/7821505/The-Kitchen-Thinker-Raspberry-Ripple.html - but I digress.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Where's Wally? There he is!

Curry sauce will have beef stock or something in it. Or possibly animal-extracted MSG.

[lnr]

Love scraps and very much south of SC. They call 'em "bits" in Mirfield apparently mind which took a bit of getting used to when my parents moved there.

Never heard of a pickled wally - could it be slang for a gherkin? - pretty odd thing to get in a chippy. Never sure pickles belong there at all to be honest, but do admit to loving pickled eggs.

Would rather have mushy peas than radioactive curry sauce (or gravy as some places also offer) but also bemused at it not being marked veggie. Maybe it is and they just didn't mark it? See also the roll and butter.

I expect sliced-bread (and a pot of tea!) in a sit-down chippy but rolls (of the soft sort you describe) in a takeaway. And yes, almost certainly marge not butter.

Not familiar with fish-and-six. When we were younger our typical order in our local would be "four times and a fish" (to feed five of us) and that doesn't seem to work most places either.

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

pretty odd thing to get in a chippy

Depends if by "get" you mean "buy". Carfax chippy - which I imagine you must have visited at least once - had a huge jar on the back shelf. To the best of my knowledge it was purely ornamental - nobody ever bought one.

[ceb.livejournal.com]

So, what are your expectations of a good chip shop?

GRAVY. And oh my goodness do they look at you funny down here if you order it.

[ceb.livejournal.com]

Also, my sister lives in Chester-le-Street and tells me their local fast food place does pizza with cheesy chips on. I have not yet managed to try this...

[zenithed.livejournal.com]

I was looked at with disgust when I asked for curry sauce in a posh chip shop in Muswell Hill. I took my business elsewhere.

One thing I'd like to see more often are scallops, i.e. battered slices of potato. Had them once in Skegness and they were great.

[venta.livejournal.com]

In the dim and distant days of school dinners, we were served scallops - although they weren't battered :( I think they were the sort of fake roast potatoes you make by deep-frying spuds.

Battered potato sounds great, though, must look out for it.

[paste.livejournal.com]

i want pineapple fritters, and potato fritters. and hot dogs (which are maybe like american corn dogs? basically a battered sausage on a stick). and kumara chips. ah NZ. we order stuff differently too - everything comes wrapped in one big parcel (with occasional smaller bags inside separating some items) so you just list all the things you want then specify an amount of chips,sometimes scoops but usually a dollar value. as with fish & chips worldwide, they all taste better when you eat them at the beach.

[venta.livejournal.com]

There is a branch of Hell Pizza (which I think started in Wellington) near us in West London. The pizzas are pretty good - but I was so excited when I suddenly spotted kumara chips on the menu one week :)

I'd expect a British chippy to do you a battered sausage, but not on a stick. Which is a shame, because everything is better onna stick.

[exspelunca.livejournal.com]

Lard? Yorkshire dripping's the way to go.

Btw, sheep's milk will freeze as Judy Bell (who founded Shepherd's Purse Cheese) started out selling sheep's milk to dairy allergic people who came from miles away and took a month's supply home to freeze.