World Gone Mad

[venta]

Every morning, when I go upstairs for my tea and evil-on-toast, I'm reminded that the world is a little bit more mad than I'd like it to be. And not in a good way.

My company's yellow-spready-stuff-of-choice is currently I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. The lid of the tub says "I Can't Believe I'm Not Famous", and has a yellow outline of a head with the words "win you face here" written on it. It is, apparently, a nationwide search for a celebrity in conjunction with The Sun.

Now. I don't mean to be awkward, but why would I want my face on plastic tubs throughout the UK ? Why would this be a good thing ?

I am however, pleased by their honest admission: Apply here, no talent required. It does confirm the theory that there is officially No Talent At All required to acheive celebrity.

Comments

[kneeshooter]

What is this evil of which you speak?

[venta.livejournal.com]

It is, of course, marmite.

[kneeshooter]

That was my first thought - but then discounted as it's clearly not.

I find Marmite is a wonderful thermometer. The other day my jar in the office was very runny which led me to believe (together with the sweat on my brow) that it was very warm.

Makes it more spreadable mind!

[venta.livejournal.com]

That was my first thought - but then discounted as it's clearly not.

Of course it's not.

But you try telling thegreenman or leathellin that. I find if you refer to it as evil it prevents people trying to explain to you that it's evil :)

[thegreenman.livejournal.com]

[fx: shrilly] Evil! Evil!

[leathellin.livejournal.com]

Not only evil but also bad and wrong.
And it tastes foul ;-)

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

Oi, I happen to like a bit of evil on my toast !

Re:

[leathellin.livejournal.com]

Next you'll be telling me you like olives.

[stompyboots.livejournal.com]

Nowt wrong with olives! They're yum!

[venta.livejournal.com]

I have a confession to make. I'm leaning towards the dark side. I've got round to liking green olives.

Black ones are still satan, though.

[smiorgan.livejournal.com]

My stock theory used to be that all strongly flavoured foods provoke either insatiable cravings for or fanatical hatred of said foodstuff.

Then I met someone who felt indifferent to olives. Man, that shook my world. It's like being the gourmet equivalent of the SDP.

[failmaster.livejournal.com]

My housemate is the only person I've ever met who's ambivalent towards Marmite. When I found out I had to reevaluate my entire working-model of reality.

[stompyboots.livejournal.com]

Black ones are alright on pizza, but not very nice anywhere else. (IMHO) But I love green olives. If you've never had them before, Boscaiola are really nice - green olives marinaded in garlic with peppers and mushrooms.

[waistcoatmark.livejournal.com]

So being a celebrity for no reason is bad, but being "evil" for no reason (other than a distinctive taste) is fine? Smacks of double standards to me.

<FX: goes off to secret lab under volcano muttering about how "they'll pay">