I'll sing myself to sleep, a song from the darkest hour

[venta]

Well, aren't you all lovely? Yesterday, I asked anyone who had the time, ability and inclination to measure their toilet seat for me. And although I was reasonably certain some of you would have the time and ability, I didn't really expect anyone to have the inclination. But several of you did.

Which means I now know an approximate average width for the hole in a toilet seat.

In centimetres, the width of reported toilet seats is:
21, 21.3, 21.5 22, 22, 22.5, 23, 23.2.
Plus ewx's confusingly chamfered[*] toilet seat which varies been 24cm and 22cm depending on where you measure it.

This confirms my theory that the toilet seats in my new office block are extremely weird. I've moved offices, by the way. Same company, new location.

The toilet seats look weird because the holes in them are close to circular - most toilet seat holes are in the ovoid region. Or occasionally rectangular. But not round. And then I, er, sat on one.

Bloody hell, I thought, this is uncomfortable.

And then I pondered a bit, and then I asked you all an odd question. And then I brought a tape measure to work. 27.5 cm across (and 28.5cm back to front). It is wider than a standard loo seat and those few centimetres are important.

At least, they are if you're me. Fundamentally, my bum is not big enough for this toilet. I mean, I'm not going to fall in, or anything, but whatever those bony bits of pelvis are called are just in the wrong place to sit comfortably. (People with actual knowledge of actual anatomy are encouraged to chip in here.)

Which brings me onto a few other questions. Human arse-width presumably varies quite considerably. Is the standard toilet width of 22-ish cm something calculated to be about right for the largest number of people? Or is it just a coincidence that most toilets measured were about the same? Does the average width of pelvis (and hence possibly toilet) vary by country? Are there narrow-hipped people who normally find UK toilets uncomfortable? Are there wider-hipped people who might prefer the toilets in my new office? Did the toilet-designer consider any of these facts, or just decide what looked nice and to hell with comfort?

Answers to these (or any other tangentially-related questions) welcome on the back of a sealed-down LJ comment. I have not yet asked my colleagues because (a) they're all blokes who might be presumed to sit less often in these circumstances and (b) well, it's a bit weird asking your colleagues about their toilet preferences. Wild speculation is therefore encouraged.

[*] I have no memory of having read or written the word "chamfered" before. I had to look up how to spell it. I expected more in the ph department, to be honest.

Comments

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

I would have thought that bum widths (and corresponding pelvis widths) varied so much that any hole size would be wrong for loads of people?

I don't, for example, remember having huge problems with toilets as a kid.

[venta.livejournal.com]

No, neither do I. Possibly the problem is more one of being used to one thing, then suddenly meeting something else.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Also it occurrs to me that perhaps a too-narrow hole isn't an issue. Unless the seat is so narrow that your bum is too wide for the outside of the seat it presumably doesn't matter, comfort-wise. The, er, business bit of one's bottom is not that large that it needs particularly accurate placing over the hole (unless we're talking ridiculously small holes) .

So maybe 22ish cm is designed to be correct for everyone by being too large for nobody?

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes, plausibly.

In which case perhaps the larger seat you've encountered is in reponse to a requirement from very large people who find old standard seats too small for comfort?

[bopeepsheep.livejournal.com]

OTOH both my little brother (skinny would be kind) and smallclanger complained about the fear of falling through the seat up to at least the age of seven, and I definitely had to haul my son out of an uncomfortable predicament more than once. (My brother never required help or I was not the one called upon, I don't remember.) Small slim-hipped children don't fit comfortably on adult seats, which is why plastic boosters sell well.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Yes, I think I remember having to balance on the front of the seat - though I don't remember finding it problematic. And given that I was frequently worried about falling through cracks in (eg) wooden walkways, I think I was surprisingly unfazed by the idea of falling down the loo!

[lnr]

Cyclists call them "sit bones" which is refreshingly straightforward... I think there are a few in our office which are oddly circular looking too - I hadn't noticed them being particularly uncomfortable though, so perhaps I should go investigate. Though I'm not sure I'd want to take my nice steel rule with me to the loos!

(And my head is now singing along to James in a nice 90s retro sort of way)

[venta.livejournal.com]

I think my Pilates teacher used to call them 'sip bones', which I had suspected might be something to do with Sacro-Iliac Things - ie S.I.P bones) but a quick google suggested that wasn't a common phrase. Maybe I misheard sit bones?

I have a handy tape measure which reels into a tiny plastic case and lives in my bag for measuring (eg) trouser waistbands in shops to work out if it's worth bothering trying them on. I smuggled it to the loo with me :)

And one kudo to you for singing along to James.

[zotz]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tuberosity_of_the_ischium

[venta.livejournal.com]

You mind your language, young man! Tuberosity, indeed.

[serpentstar.livejournal.com]

All Western toilets are inherently uncomfortable and unnatural. Let me squat above a hole in the ground, like my primate ancestors, dammit.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's fun right up until you get cramp in your legs mid-act, which happens to me about 1 in 3 using squat toilets.

[serpentstar.livejournal.com]

Only because all those years of seats and Western toilets have rendered your legs weak. A bit of cramp is a small price to pay for gradually regaining natural human mobility and poo-ability!

[serpentstar.livejournal.com]

*insert "In Soviet Russia" poo joke here*

[beckyl.livejournal.com]

Sit Down, James!

Er, on actually reading the comments, I notice I'm too late to get a kudo. Oh well.

[hjalfi.livejournal.com]

To be honest, I haven't noticed anything untoward about the new loos. Although I expect it'll now bug me incessantly. Thanks for that.

...my brother's family have a special toddler loo seat. This has the main adult's seat, then a special child seat with a smaller hole that folds down over the top of that, and then the lid itself. I've always thought that was a surprisingly good idea.