I'll have them cook you something that you'll really love

[venta]

Yesterday, while in the gym, I was half-watching an ITV program called Dinner Date.

Dinner Date is a dating show, which aims to help its contestants "find true love through the love of food". Well, I can't fault that as an idea.

For those of you who are as ignorant of daytime TV as I usually am, it works as follows:

1. Five cooking-contestants each put together a menu for a three course meal.
2. One dining-contestant selects three of the menus, and goes in turn to the house of each cooking-contestant to have the menu cooked for them. Dining-contestant critiques the food.
3. Dining-contestant selects the favourite cooking-contestant.
4. All three cooking-contestants get dolled up to be taken out somewhere for dinner by dining-contestant; two will answer the door to find someone presenting them with dinner-for-one on a silver salver, the third will find dining-contestant waiting to take them to a restaurant.

At least, I think it does. I've half-watched it a few times, in five-minute chunks, with the sound off and ITV's rather bad auto-generated subtitles. I may have misunderstood something, or indeed got it totally wrong.

Now... I don't like stage 4, I think it's unnecessarily humiliating for people to wait for a knock on the door, then find themselves all dressed up with no place to go. Then again, I find an awful lot of TV unnecessarily humiliating.

My real gripe with it, though is that (as far as I'm aware) the cooking-contestants are female and the dining-contestant is male. Every time. Now, I don't watch it regularly so there's a chance that every other episode/series a girl gets to select her favourite from five guys, but somehow I doubt it. If they ever do one like that, I expect it'll be with a big fanfare: Dinner Date SWITCH!, in which OMG a MAN operates a COOKER! Hilarity might even ensue.

Anyway. I'm willing to pass over a whole bunch of other stuff (it's a dating show, what do you expect) but that does bug me. Having said that, ITV's pitch for it does describe dining-contestant as a "person", so maybe it is more unisex.

However. If you gloss over minor problems like, say, going on a blind date in someone else's house - which probably isn't a very good idea - I think cooking dinner for someone would be a great idea for a date.

The bit that actually interested me the most was the initial five minutes, when our Man reads through the five menus he's been offered and chooses three of them. In yesterday's episode, one menu was immediately discarded because it featured bobotie and he didn't know what it was. I didn't know what it was either, but I'd have considered that a reason to go for that option. If I were putting together a menu, I'd be tempted to include something unusual just to weed out the finickerty eaters.

There does seem to be a definite theme to the menus: something fishy or prawns for a starter, lots of red meat for a main course, and something in the chocolate/strawberry region for pud. I'd be interested to know whether that would change if the cooking-contestants were boys.

So... imagine a blind date were coming to your house. How would you decide what to cook[*]? Would you go mainstream middle-of-the-road to suit all comers? Would you make it as weirdly interesting as possible to check their adventurousness? Cook your own favourites? Try to second-guess what a 37 year old actuary from Much Wenlock might like for dinner? Would you, in fact, approach the menu problem any differently if it were a date or a friend coming round?

My main consideration is, I think, that I'd aim towards things where a lot of preparation can be done ahead. I cooked for two dinner parties close together earlier in the year: the first featured beef Wellington, which was already assembled and chilling in the fridge when the first guests arrived an hour early. The second involved risotto, which was a daft choice because it needs constant attention for ages while people are arriving. Definitely Wellington is, for convenience and lack of last-minute panic, the way to go. Although it does mean I'm conforming to the big-lump-of-red-meat stereotype.

One thing I do rather fail at is putting together a menu. What starter/pudding goes with this main course? Obviously I wouldn't follow steak pie with apple pie[**] but the finer details are always a bit lost on me. Any advice on how to learn this skill greatly appreciated :)

[*] I arbitrarily decree that your blind date has exactly the same eating restrictions as you. So if you're vegetarian/Coeliac/keeping kosher/allergic to dairy produce/bound by an ancient family curse to eat only acorns, then so are they.

[**] Actually, it's pretty likely *I* would. But I accept my guests might not also be deranged pie obsessives. Wanting pie at every opportunity does not constitute an "eating restriction", as described above :)

In utterly unrelated news: I feel vaguely wrong listening to The Tea Party now. They are not (as far as I'm aware!) connected with the political movement.

Comments

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

I would cook the same sort of things as I like to eat myself. If this date is going to go anywhere longer-term, they're going to have to get used to my cooking, so there's no point me making something misleadingly different on this one occasion.

I have a pretty lazy way of making risotto which involves putting all the liquid in at once and letting it absorb, like a pilau, so that wouldn't necessarily be ruled out for me. But I think something like a pie or casserole that you can do all the attention-occupying bits in advance and then just bung in the oven at the appropriate time is the sensible way to go. And starters and puddings can both be something chilled. So I might go for something like:

* mushroom pate with toast and olives;
* aduki bean, feta and spinach pie, with roast potatoes and green beans;
* my trademark gingernut, cointreau and cream pudding.

The only bits that need doing at the last minute are the toast and the beans, and they're only a few minutes.

I have no idea about putting together a menu either, so this is probably a bit stodge overload, but again that's something the person is going to have to get used to :-)

[venta.livejournal.com]

One of the bits I managed to miss yesterday was the result of the three course meal cooked by the girl who said she'd never cooked anything more than beans on toast or scrambled egg before! (And, as far as I could tell from the subtitles, had to be guided by the off-screen voiceover as to how to use a garlic press!)

I agree one wouldn't want to do something too out-of-the-ordinary, but I think "making an effort"is valid :) (She clearly was, there wasn't a baked bean in sight...)

[lnr]

I can't be doing with garlic presses. The time they save you in preparation is more than lost in the faff of cleaning them. I've gone back to just peeling and chopping.

Not sure what I'd cook either.

Perhaps asparagus wrapped in parma ham with a poached egg and a lemony creme fraiche dressing and black pepper to start.

Duck leg cassoulet with crusty french bread for the main course.

And a raspberry creme brulee for afters. With fresh columbian coffee and some really good chocolates.

That's going a bit fancy, keeping a light starter to go with a heavy main course, and following your tip for stuff that can mostly be prepared in advance.

[lnr]

Friends coming round getting chilli and all the trimmings mind - so definitely a different approach. It's not one that lends itself immediately to adding a starter and pudding, but I suspect I could work on that :)

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Me too, on the garlic front. And you get the satisfaction of putting the side of the knife on top of the clove of garlic and smacking it as hard as you can, which is always fun.

[venta.livejournal.com]

I'm missing out! I usually just go for chopping into little cubes, no smacking involved.

I also can't really be pesetered with garlic presses.

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

Smacking makes it taste better -- giving it a good bruising breaks the internal cell walls, so the flavour comes out more. It's science and fun!

Smack first then chop, that's my motto (for garlic as for so many other things in life).

[zandev.livejournal.com]

I generally do the smacking primarily to make it easier to peel. :)

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

Indeed, that's an added bonus!

[sushidog.livejournal.com]

I think pie followed by pie is a fine idea; I'd include borek as a starter, just to continue (or pre-empt) the theme.

Actually, I'd probably do stuff that's relatively easy and/or can be done in advance, but still looks good. So for the starter, fresh figs with goat's cheese, prosciuttio and honey, with nice bread, and then maybe a North African-style vegetable stew (perhaps served with merguez if I knew where to get them!) and cous-cous, followed by cake, in all probability. Perhaps a baked cheesecake with berries of some sort.
But yes, playing in to the traditional gender roles is a bit dull, really. I think that's the way with "reality" TV of all sorts though. I mean, take Wife Swap for example (not that I actually watch it, mind you!). Do they ever do "husband Swap", other than with very occasional gay couples? And if not, why not? Could it be that they assume that husbands don't really have much of a place when it comes to household and children, and therefore displacing and replacing them is less interesting?

[venta.livejournal.com]

I guess I'd been assuming that a wife-swap was the same as a husband-swap (ie you still end up with two different people). Having never seen it, I hadn't allowed for children!

What I'd like to see for my new, revised Dinner Date is them asking your gender preference on application, and then just lining up six people per show depending on the applicants they get. So I'm guessing the dates would be mainly straight, due to numbers, but you could get either girls or guys cooking.

Then again, maybe they do do that but not enough blokes apply!

[phlebas.livejournal.com]

Interesting - reading your description I pictured the cooking-contestants as men and was quite surprised when you said they never were.
May comment later with menu thoughts, but in the meantime are you aware of this?

[venta.livejournal.com]

Now that is odd.

The game, not your thinking the cooking-persons were blokes.

have you played it?

[phlebas.livejournal.com]

Not yet - I'm into the final day of dithering over whether to pre-order. Still haven't got round to checking whether I can get hold of the wine yet.

[erming.livejournal.com]

What menu would I prepare for a 37 year old actuary from Much Wenlock?

Given I got bored at this point on their job description, something as off putting as possible.

[venta.livejournal.com]

I was chatting to a 35 (ish) year old actuary from Guildford at the weekend. He's a lovely chap and not at all boring :)

[erming.livejournal.com]

Fair enough, must just have been unlucky at uni :-)

[exspelunca.livejournal.com]

May I remind you your original career choice was actuary?

[lnr]

I'm reminded of course of Come Dine With Me, which at least usually has a complete mix of contestants.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

I would cook something I've cooked before and could get wrong even if I wasn't really concentrating because some bozo has turned up early and insists on helping by peeling potatoes at the rate of one spud per hour. Then I would narrow it down to things that taste good one after another, and aren't all very similar. Then I would make sure they were all things that didn't have a very important and fiddly final step that stands a high risk of covering my smart clothes in permanently staining gunge in front of all my friends.

[huskyteer.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'd hate that. I get very stressed and flustered cooking for other people, even dear close friends, and I can't relax until everyone's cleaned their plate and reached for seconds, at which point I persuade myself that they're not just faking enjoyment.

I'd probably cook my One Showoff Meal, orange chicken biryani, and my One Showoff Pudding, which is very easy and can be done well in advance but involves three different kinds of chocolate. Starter? No idea. Make some dips and open a bag of Doritos, probably.

[venta.livejournal.com]

OK. When my new version is aired, we'll sign you up as one of the dining-contestants instead :)

I love cooking for people, but on the whole I wish they'd stay out of the kitchen while I'm doing it, or I start doing alarmingly odd/weird/careless things!

[huskyteer.livejournal.com]

If dinner is a joint effort my flatmate always asks if there's anything he can do to help, to which my response is 'yes, go and tidy the living-room'.

[nalsa.livejournal.com]

Of course: Dandy Warhols, Bohemian Like You.

As for menu planning; don't. Restaurants don't do it, because there will be people who'll cheerfully eat mushroom fritti followed by mushroom pasta and truffle truffles for dessert. Basically, if you have a theme then great, but tart followed by pie followed by crumble would be enough to claim your theme to be pastry.

In the other hand, something light and airy and colourful for starters, and then work from there, is a fairly good rule of thumb.

[venta.livejournal.com]

One kudo to you for the Dandy Warhols.

I take your point about restaurants. I frequently order mismatched meals (steak tartare followed by the only vegetarian main course on the menu? That threw them).

I guess rather than theme as such, though, I was thinking about practicalities. Stodge followed by stodge is bad - and so is not enough stodge, as you don't want your guests ending up hungry.

colourful for starters

I never think of colours of food, really. I should. Maybe I should have put a carrot or two in that pumpkin soup last night - it came out purest beige.

[lnr]

steak tartare followed by the only vegetarian main course on the menu?

*applause*

I do occasionally get waiters warning me that my starter isn't vegetarian when I've ordered a veggie main course, but never quite that spectacular a combination.

[venta.livejournal.com]

They didn't warn me. Maybe they thought the "steak" in the name gave it away :)

Once (in a pub in Glastonbury) I couldn't decide between two main courses so solicited the opinion of the man who came to take the order.

I was dithering between gnocchi with mumble and pea sauce, or a steak. I can't remember what the (vegetarian) mumble was - something that would have made it a clear winner without the pesky peas.

The change in the guy's expression when I got to "or steak" was amazing. Obviously his be-polite-to-customers mental speedbumps weren't in place since he blurted out "Have the steak, you idiot!"

[phlebas.livejournal.com]

Pigeon breasts with thyme, orange and whisky marinade
Fillet steak with whisky and green peppercorn sauce, sauteed potatoes and grilled fennel
Raspberries with broken ginger biscuits, whisky and a dollop of fromage frais

There's even a theme!

[venta.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. I deduce from that that I am definitely not your ideal date ;)

*blech* *blech*

Mind you, perhaps I should be more open-minded. I recently very much enjoyed ling wrapped in parma ham with sambucca and cream sauce, and I can't stand sambucca either.

[(Anonymous)]

Whitby 2007. You tasted whisky we found left in the flat and completely failed to "blech".

W.

[huskyteer.livejournal.com]

Booze makes everything taste better. In fact, simply telling your guests there's alcohol in the food seems to make them enjoy it more.

[phlebas.livejournal.com]

Mm. Putting alcohol in the guests also works.

[huskyteer.livejournal.com]

Not to mention the chef.

[venta.livejournal.com]

No, no! If you put the chef in the guests you are very possibly doing it wrong.

Depends on the kind of party, I suppose.

[ulfilias.livejournal.com]

Whisky FTW - Sounds great to me, though I can't see it being a big hit with a lot of ladies i know....Though one (atatched) would probably bite your arm off.

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

Definitely something do-ahead for a starter - a terrine or pate with melba toast perhaps. The meat or fish for the main should be something that goes in the oven, and the pudding should be something that can either go in the oven with the main, or which can be left to steam/keep warm while the main course is being eaten.

So maybe:

Game terrine with orange and red pepper salsa, melba toasts
------------

Baked monkfish tails wrapped in bacon with a blue cheese sauce
Crushed new potatoes
Savoy cabbage
------------

Pannetone bread and butter pudding
Cinder toffee icecream

[venta.livejournal.com]

Baked monkfish tails wrapped in bacon with a blue cheese sauce

Does that work? I mean, I assume so or you wouldn't be suggesting it.

I'm just surprised - I'd have thought more than two of fish, bacon and blue cheese was overdoing it a bit.

[mrlloyd.livejournal.com]

I've had similar dishes. I bet it works a treat.

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

Yes, it's awesome. I had it in the Magpie one Whitby and then spent the rest of the year perfecting my version of the recipe. It is AWESOME.

(Parma ham acually works better than bacon, though is more pricey!)

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

Bah - nalsa stle my potential kudo!

Menu-wise I'd do the same thing I do with most guests: muck about with whatever I feel like cooking. The only difference being that I normally get to check dietary requirements in advance.

I'm thinking maybe artichoke pasties to start, then some kind of Thai prawn thing with noodles, then something cakey with lots of nutmeg and cinnamon for dessert.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Ooh, that's an angle I hadn't considered... I can't eat noodles (or spaghetti) tidily or with any degree of decorum.

So... do I avoid them, to avoid scaring my date with my messy eating, or include them, so we can clear that issue up straight away!

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

Personally I favour dates who are able to enjoy foods which are incompatible with personal decorum. In general they seem like the sorts of people less likely to try to make me wear suits or tidy my room.

[ulfilias.livejournal.com]

Can't say i often do starters, as i often find pudding too much to aim for and it usualy lies abandonded in the fridge or eaten in the later hours as a snack.

I did do a rather nice Parmasan lattice crisp once, which turned out nice. You can also make them into shapes. I think i did a heart as it was valentines, but an initial is cool and personal touch. A red jus adds colour. It is something that is pre-prepared, makes an impact and isn't filling.

Entertaining a new lady usualy calls for a rissotto recipie of mine. It is quite simple, but adaptable to tastes. I'd done a vegan/veggie varient, but the normal is Chicken, White wine and Asparagus. I usualy add different types of peppers for colour and use young slender asparagus if posible. Part cooking the asparagus then using the water & wine as the starting stock for the rissotto.

I normaly cook while chatting to a guest. Most of my kitchens have been kitchen diners type things. One i even had a sofa in the kitchen an that was awesome as it makes guest gravitate to it, be involved, yet out of the way. Its a slow recipie, so you usualy marinade yourself and guest while idly talking, in an informal atmosphere.

Desert is usualy tricky as i always make too much and guests have been known to have a few helpings. I guess it would depend how much i wanted to impress. Used to do a devilishly good home made chocolate ice cream with a rich dark chocolate sauce. The home made caramel i did was also good and you could add chocolate eclairs or malteasers in it for fun.

I recall once at Uni, me and a mate felt like cooking and impressing a couple of ladies, we transformed my student living room (a pit) with soft lighting and drapes and sent a couple of invitations to some friends of ours. I made some chocolates and sent them in a wrapped up match box with the invite, needless to say both girls were more than ready to accept. Hehe mad days.

[mrlloyd.livejournal.com]

Being bad at cooking I'd endeavour to look good on little effort.

So smoked salmon on dark bread to start, with some kind of salady garnish

Mussels in white wine sauce, plus dips and fresh vegetables (carrot sticks etc)

sorbet icecream with after 8 mints

Pretty much impossible to get wrong. Serve with white wine.

Or just go with 'how about a restaurant?'

[ext2366.livejournal.com]

I have seen that show with men as the cookers. One of them was a very cocky student.

I'd probably go with something like.

* Soup, but with something fresh sprinkled on the top
* Something that can have sat in the oven for a while. Lasagna, or sausage and lentil stew, oh, or my bourginion pie - pies are always good and impressive though that can get a bit heavy.
* Lemon meringue pie, or something chocolatey like chocolate pots.

I think that doing last-minute fussy stuff would make better TV particularly if there's better chances of it all going wrong. Then again, even with simple stuff I still managed to set fire to a tea-towel when last cooking for a date.

[(Anonymous)]

Setting fire to a tea-towel?

Pshaw.

I managed to smash a pot of chocolate spread all over the floor, scald one finger to blistering point and throw soup across the floor and I was only cooking for a chap I live with.

I also sheared a bolt off changing a car battery, but that was earlier in the day.

The jury's still out on whether the CD player's lasers becoming misaligned and the building's electronic locking system imploding were my fault.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Er, that last comment was me :)