The drugs don't work, they just make you worse

[venta]

So... we still have no government, so I still have a cough. On the way to work this morning, I bought some cough mixture - said cough isn't particularly painful, but it is noisy and I thought I ought to make the attempt not to irritate my colleagues.

Actually, I seem to have irritated them anyway, because they're all wildly indignant that I paid for cough mixture when "it doesn't work". I'm vaguely aware that there have been news stories claiming that cough mixture was ineffective, but am vague on the details. It certainly appears to have made some difference. I bought the least expensive bottle available in Boots this morning and its ingredients list doesn't include "placebo", so it can't be that.

Anyway, I am mildly outraged by my cough mixture. It is a sort-of branded, sort-of ownbrand affair, being somehow "Boots Nirolex Chesty Cough relief Linctus". The capitalisation is theirs.

Firstly I was outraged because the box didn't contain a spoon. Don't you even get a free spoon these days ? Admittedly, sensible grown-ups with medicine cabinets don't need another spoon, so I suppose it reduces waste. However, as an immature type who hasn't bought liquid medicine in years I found myself in the unfortunate position this morning of swigging it out of the bottle. And it was rather nasty. More outrage. I always expect cough mixture to be nice. Junior Benelyn was (when I was a kid) lovely stuff - more or less worth having a cold for.

Anyway. Swigging from the bottle, as it turns out, meant I didn't realise until just now how quite how outraged I was. Post lunch, I thought it was about time for another dose so used the small purple pottery spoon which lives on my desk. Pouring the gloopy stuff out... I realised it was clear. Transparent. Totally colourless.

Everyone knows that cough mixture should be red. Or brown. Maybe reddish brown. Possibly - on appeal - yellow if it's that buttercup stuff. But colourless ?

No wonder it doesn't bloody work.

Comments

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

Covonia. *nods*

[ar-gemlad.livejournal.com]

I recommend Benylin for chesty coughs, non-drowsy version. I use that for tickly coughs too, because the tickly cough version tastes of licorice and is therefore vile. The chesty coughs one is a lovely deep brown-red, and it is sweet and lovely. I think it works - it at the very least calms the throat down so you stop trying to cough up your voice box.

I used to like Cavonia, but when I last tried it (about 10 years ago?!) it was a bit runny and felt watered down.

Chemists sometimes have dosing spoons if you ask for them, but they stopped putting them in medicine boxes ages ago.

[j4.livejournal.com]

I'm vaguely aware that there have been news stories claiming that cough mixture was ineffective

Not just news stories but actual peer-reviewed science, by the looks of it. Wikipedia has lots of links to both: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cough_medicine

Whatever you do, don't take Lemsip, or you'll end up like Andrew Motion.

I've not seen a spoon with cough medicine for years - these days it's always those little plastic cups instead. I have about a grillion of them if you want some... :-} Otherwise I am thinking of glueing them together to make a fake eggbox brontosaurus.

Hope the cough gets better soon!

[beckyc.livejournal.com]

Have you turned into an asthmatic in your old age? Not that you are old, it's just a figure of speech.

Things wot are good for chesty coughs:
Codeine
Liquorice (Red is nice, black is foul), unless you have high BP.
Lots of nice other sorts of sweeties what don't have active ingredients but are a bit soothing.
Glycerine and honey and lemon, what are just a bit soothing of the throat.
Steam

[rabbit1080.livejournal.com]

That sounds suspiciously like the cough-syrup I had during one of my earlier English winters. The cough-syrup worked fine - made my horrible chesty cough after a day or 2 - but it made me feel like a space-cadet.

By some quirk of planning, I ended up at home by myself that weekend. Watching "The Prisoner" (the 60s sci-fi series). Many episodes, back-to-back. And still on the weird cough-syrup. Finished the tv series at 2am feeling verrrrry weird - might've woken C via mobile phone ... :)

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

Diet Coke is my preferred chesty cough remedy.

However, I strongly endorse your insistence on colour in cough mixture. Without the scary red colour it can't possibly work.

[cuthbertcross.livejournal.com]

Yer desired placebo is called "simple linctus BP" in chemist-speak.

Codeine only acts as a cough suppressent if you take enough to stun a piebald.

All the syrups do is soothe an irritated throat (which is a perfectly good reason to take em IMHO).

Try Tixylix kids syrup-it tastes nice (ribena-ey) and I won't tell it you're a grownup.