You're so pretty when you're unfaithful to me

[venta]

Walking round Tesco (pausing only to be amused by the sign which said "Stoned Fruit", because I'm very juvenile) I spotted on the fish counter some peppered mackerel fillets, 49p each.

Thinking they'd be nice in my dinnertime sarnies, and that they were very cheap, I bought a couple.

Standing at the checkout queue I observed the label the fish-counter lady has stuck on them: Hot Smoked Peppered Mackerel, Will Contain Bones. What?

After I'd paid, I went back to the fish counter to check. Yep, the label says Hot Smoked Peppered Mackerel Fillets.

And on my purchase: Will Contain Bones.

The thing about fillets, Tesco...

Post-buttie update: no bones. Halfwits.

(In case anyone's confused, the fish is cold. There's a process called "hot smoking".)

Comments

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

Much as I agree this is ridiculous I'm not sure it's Tesco's fault. The convention is now firmly established that consumers gets to complain about pretty much anything they can articulate and get compensated. So the word "fillet" is there to inform you that the bones have been removed, but "Will Contain Bones" is there to inform you that you can f*** right off if you were thinking about suing them over any bones you may locate having pretended to choke on them.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Again (see above), I'd agree if it had said "May Contain Bones".

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

I see your point. I'm assuming the wording is to cover the fact that the small bones consistently remain in (and are typically harmlessly edible).

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

Will Contain Bones That May Be Imperceptible. Don't sue us if you can't find them!

[wechsler.livejournal.com]

"Will Contain Bones At Some Indeterminate Future Time"?