Thinking that he was a trusty tree

Yesterday one of my colleagues asked - apropos of nothing - whether anyone knew where he could find a beech tree. He'd been told that a bottle of gin is much improved by having a few beech leaves pushed into it to infuse and was keen to try it but, like so many people, can only identify the larch.

I drive through a clutch of beech trees to get to work, so agreed to bring in some leaves. This morning I paused briefly, snapped off the end of a twig, and brough in a few leaves which are now sitting in a glass of water on my desk.

Except... I'm now suffering from a terrible crisis of confidence. I've picked what I've always believed to be beech leaves. But someone is going to imbibe them... what if I've collected, I dunno, deadly nightshade instead ?

Yes, I know there are tree-identification sites online. The trouble is that pictures on those sites never seem to match anything. Plus they all show mature beech leaves, and I've got extremely juvenile ones here. Besides, all the characterstics do match. I was reasonably sure in the first place that it was beech; having consulted the web I'm still reasonably sure.

But... if you hear of unexplained deaths in the Wokingham area, don't be surprised if I leave the country suddenly.

Boxes ticked

Every time I go to vote. Every bloody time.

Just on the off-chance anyone else lives in Iffley Fields ward and votes at the Donnington Community Centre: do not follow the sign that says "Donnington Community Centre" to get there. It will not help. If you have inadvertently followed that sign, then turn left at the unsigned T-junction, then turn left up the private-looking footpath which is signed for "Donnington Doorstep".

For preference, however, walk along Donnington Bridge Road until you get to Townsend Square, turn right and when you can see nothing but a scruffy carpark keep walking round to the right and at the point at which you've already found the well-hidden building, you will see a sign saying "Polling Station".

I am writing this down in the hopes that next time I have to vote I will remember and look it up rather than spending ten minutes wandering about haplessly.

The couple dishing out ballot papers seemed vaguely surprised when I asked if in future they could put out more signs - "but there is a sign on the door" - despite admitting that they got really lost at 6:40am and couldn't find the building themselves.