Parental Advisory

[venta]

Does anyone know anything about The Vagina Monologues ?

I'd been told, by people who I'd regard as reliable, that they were extremely funny. Last night, I accidentally found a performance on the telly. The 2 minutes I watched seemed to consist entirely of a woman explaining how she'd "reclaimed" the word cunt, and then repeatedly saying it in different silly voices.

Which the audience seemed to find hilarious. Which I found incomprehensible. It's not like I found it offensive, it just... wasn't funny.

[One Notional Kudos Point to anyone who realises why I suddenly remembered about this :) ]

Comments

Re: Next time I shall have to be more clear...

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

there are several of those I know well who I would say are sexist,

Would say, or have said? I think that most people (both male and female) are prejudiced by sex to some extent. If someone is unknowingly more prejudiced than they would feel comfortable with if they realised about it, it might be helpful to tell them. But if they'd refuse to listen to you, of course it isn't.

I don't think it's really the point whether it feels technical because it's latin - the point is that it does!

Ah, well, it does matter. We're talking about reclaiming a word, i.e. changing the way that it feels. So if the reason for the way the word feels is just that only your gynaecologist ever uses it, that can be altered by saying it repeatedly on stage in various silly voices (or whatever). If the word intrinsically is, and always will be, technical-sounding because it is Latin, that can't ever happen.

But would it not be better if we didn't have the divisive situation where black people can use a word without offense but nobody else can?

Yes it would be better, and some time down the line that might be the case (or, more likely, that the word will barely be used at all because race won't be a primary determinant of identity, the same way I don't greet you in the street with a cry of "yo, my brunette").

However, for as long as racism is common I think it's unlikely that whites will be able to use "nigger" carelessly without it being offensive. With people you know and know won't be offended, yes, but not in an unknown situation. That being the case, the current stuation is better than some of the alternatives.

because 'nigger' was coined as a derogatory term,

Was it coined as derogatory? For some reason I imagined that it was originally merely dismissive, in the same way that the terms "boy" and "uncle" are dismissive.

Re: Next time I shall have to be more clear...

[lathany.livejournal.com]

"there are several of those I know well who I would say are sexist,

Would say, or have said? I think that most people (both male and female) are prejudiced by sex to some extent. If someone is unknowingly more prejudiced than they would feel comfortable with if they realised about it, it might be helpful to tell them. But if they'd refuse to listen to you, of course it isn't."

How do you tell someone that they are too sexist ? Usually the comment is met with denial, and then a request for proof. The last is often hard to give and I have always found that it involves quoting the person - which upsets them more when they claim "out of context".

The trouble is, being sexist is a much greater crime than pretty much most other faults (compare it to "messy", "lazy", etc.). Consequently I always find it difficult to raise without totally upsetting the person in question.

Re: Next time I shall have to be more clear...

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

How do you tell someone that they are too sexist ?

Cunningly engineer a debate about subconscious sexism, maybe, so that people are somewhat curious to know what other people's opinions of their behaviour is, and thus less likely to be upset?

I find it relatively easy to accuse people of sexism (or other forms of discrimination, of which the most common I see is anti-Americanism and of which I'm arguably guilty myself when it comes to their government). Often they disagree with me, pay no attention, or claim that it isn't important, but if someone appears to be discriminating I have the option available to say so. If they're unfairly treating someone who's a friend of mine, I might even use emotionally loaded terms...

Usually the comment is met with denial, and then a request for proof

I tend not to approach it as a case of "you're sexist (or anti-American), and here's a list of incidents which prove it", but more by waiting for occasions where they do show bias, and saying *at that time*, something like "I think you're showing your prejudices there". Certainly when people have made similar comments to me, it's enough to make me stop and think about it (even if I'm not willing to argue it out with them).

I agree that if they're just going to be upset and defensive, there's no point causing trouble for no benefit. But I don't think that's always the case.