Yeah, that's why I can never understand any of those silly letters you send me

[venta]

I am easily entertained. This is not news. Just recently, I've actually been reading some of the spam that arrives at my old freeserve address.


I was curious about a mail whose subject line was "Do you crave to perceive valuable following morn ?". It turned out to be trying to interest me in hangover remedies (I think), and had presumably been translated by Babelfish after a bad night out:

"But our pills aids you avoid katzenjammers and wake sentient magnificent from head to abdomen and all over additional."

Wow! Now that very nearly made me follow the press-here-to-read-more. Dammit, I want to wake up feeling sentient magnficient from head to abdomen and all over additional. How could anyone resist ?

Mind you, that mail had assumed my name to be Fidelia Xaftlbe, which is not the sort of behaviour you want from someone making offers like that.

The latest volley of spam all seems to come from computer generated addresses, which have a proper 'name', but the part of the address before the @ sign is just a string of eight letters. Imagine my delight to be mailed by oocelotw! Not just an ocelot, but a computer-generated one! Disappointingly, it turned out not to be an ocelot at all, but an individual called Lena with poor sentence-construction and a habit of using "u" for "you". She thanked me for my mail and offered to send me a picture - generous, but disappointing when I'd been hoping for a big cat.

Today brings a mail from an Agatha - and you don't get many of those these days - telling me that "young and ruttish misses are waiting". While I fear that, if they are waiting for me, it may be a tediously long wait I am made extremely happy to see someone using the word ruttish. It is, perhaps, the kind of anachronistic and slightly coarse behavious one might expect from an Agatha.

However, I should make it clear that despite the number of offers in the past couple of weeks, I still don't want to buy a pre-owned Rolex watch. Especially not since I found my temporarily-mislaid Swatch this morning.

Comments

[eostar.livejournal.com]

I'm off to clear out my old freeserve account too, in the hope that I might get similar offers of substances that enable me to avoid katzenjammers and wake sentient magnificent from head to abdomen and all over additional. Definitely an offer not to be scoffed at :)

katzenjammers are indeed hangovers, they are also discordant noises, depression, and a comic strip.

But, wait a minute, no emails urging you to "Eat Cake" ...? ;)

[kissifa.livejournal.com]

I am utterly flummoxed as to why these people persist in sending me the funds transfer scam mails. Regularly I open my Yahoo mailbox to find at least one copy of three different scam mails, always with their headings in capitals.

Are they not getting bored of it not-working? Do they reckon if they keep on at us we'll eventually crack? And what's with the multiple copies?

Ugh, can't they set up a funding scheme for scam artists to teach them how to at have, at the very least, passable grammar, okay typing skills, and some idea of how to set up an original scam?

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Agatha is quite a common name in Eastern Europe, I think.

[condign.livejournal.com]

Whilst "ruttish" is indeed a wonderful word, I've not had any occasion to use it lately. I'm particularly offended, therefore, that a spammer gets to have all the fun.