venta

1. I was given a small collection of Iain Pears (aka Mr instant Fingerpost) art=world whodunnits for Christmas. I started reading one on the train this morning, and there on page one, is this description of California:

"a part of the world where legs now [serve] mainly a decorative function"

I like it already.

2. I never again thought I'd encounter an anagram anywhere near as apposite as the well known rearrangement of Virginia Bottomley. However, running it a rather close second is this gem, courtesy of the News Quiz a couple of weeks ago (I heard it, but then forgot about it till last night).

CLINTON, PRESIDENT OF THE USA
->
TO COPULATE, HE FINDS INTERNS

(

onebyone is excused from reading the following, as he's heard this rant at least twice)

3.

To the best of my knowledge, I am the only person of my acquaintance who has managed to slip on a banana skin. Twice. (Two separate incidents, I hasten to add, not twice on the same one). One of these involved the full-on legs-in-air landing-on-arse cartoon sprawl.

Now. Since the second one, I've started keeping an eye out for the damn things. And they're everywhere. I passed three coming in to work this morning (one on my road, one at the Iffley Road bustop, and one lying about in the middle of the pavement to the business park where I work.)

Yet, if ever I mention this to people, they point out that you just don't get banana skins lying about in the streets these days.

Do me favour. Keep an eye out for a week, and let me know how many you see. I want to know whether this is an international conspiracy, a delusion on my part, a little known public health risk or an indication that I'm being stalked by an orang-utan.