William McGonagall is alive and well

[venta]

I'm just munching a small custard pie/tart (Bakers Over, 40p, not bad), and I've suddenly noticed that the bag it came in bears A Poem.

It begins "Early in the morning while you're sleeping/Bakers' alarms are bleep, bleep bleeping." and meanders along, containg such horrible lines as "Cakes with cream, cakes with caramel, they're so fresh you can't resist the smell."

A note at the bottom tells me it was written by a fourteen year old from Essex. I'm not sure it's his fault; I wrote some pretty horrible poetry myself aged 14. But what on earth possessed Bakers Oven to share it with the world ?

Ouch.

Comments

[uitlander]

...it was written by a fourteen year old from Essex. I'm not sure it's his fault; I wrote some pretty horrible poetry myself aged 14. But what on earth possessed Bakers Oven to share it with the world ?

Well, they come from a similar background to mine, I suspect a very pushy mother.

[al-fruitbat.livejournal.com]

what on earth possessed Bakers Oven to share it with the world?

To cause more trauma, in the hope that this can be assuaged with cake?

[zotz]

William McGonagall is buried within easy walking distance of my flat, in fact. A bit behind a small statue of a highland terrier who never actually existed.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Pah. You mean there's a stone that says he's buried there. He's alive and well and siring sprogs in Essex, I tell you.

[wechsler.livejournal.com]

Oh he *was* buried there, but he escaped. Some people can't take a hint.

[timeplease.livejournal.com]

They say it was written by a fourteen year old from Essex, but it was probably written by a forty year old marketing manager from Surrey...

[broadmeadow.livejournal.com]

Nestle recently went through a phase of putting really inane comments on their products. They were things like "Nestle Smarties are a Breath Of Fresh Air" [*] and I cringed at every one I saw. A poll of the only Nestle product in the tuck shop cupboard (Rolos) suggests they may have stopped doing that now.

[*] Made up, but of that ilk.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Ick.

They should take a leaf out of innocent (http://www.innocentdrinks.co.uk/)'s book. innocent's labels tend to be liberally spattered with pleasantly random and off-the-wall remarks.

Which I suppose might get tiresome, but since I only buy innocent's stuff rarely, I see them at just the right intervals.

[phlebas.livejournal.com]

Bah for smoothies with banana in.

[venta.livejournal.com]

They do thickies which are all yogurty and not necessarily bananananany. I don't know about the other smoothies.

I had thought they were ubiquitously orange-using, but I wrote to them and grumbled, and they sent me bottles of lots of nice things which don't have orange in them. You could try it :)

[phlebas.livejournal.com]

Yoghurt is quite dominant too though. It's just frustrating that they use banana to thicken all their smoothies and the taste takes over the whole thing, when (for instance) pulped strawberry, peach or mango do just as well at thickening without ruining the flavour.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Less of this talk of ruining, bananas are lovely :)

I treat innocent to my opinions occasionally, and they do seem to like (and listen to) feedback - tell 'em, and they might start making a non-banananany one.

[phlebas.livejournal.com]

I've nothing particularly against bananas, they're just a very dominant flavour - if I buy a "mango and passionfruit" smoothie I want mango and passionfruit, not BANANA with a hint of mango and passionfruit. They should have to relabel them all "BANANA and". That'd teach 'em.

[pm215]

OTOH they do have "Quality and Trust Please Contact Us", presumably an indication that Nestle no longer have either and would like them back :-)

[addedentry.livejournal.com]

Mortgage doggerel:

http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/000340.html