venta | Here's another list of things I learnt this year

Well, there were further thoughts from a small folk festival, only I haven't had time to write them down. First I was busy thinking them, then driving down, then at work, then

broadmeadow and I went to a peculiarly imaginative quiz last night, run by a friend of his.

They may get written up at some point. Or maybe not. However, to be going on with:

Things I learnt from listening to folk songs[*] this weekend:

Any broken-down race horse running at fantastically long odds will come in first.

Women can't be trusted.

Men can't be trusted either.

Things used to be better.

Things will be better tomorrow.

Seven (long) years is enough to render the love of your life unrecognisable.

Gentlemen: if you meet a woman who is crying on account of her love being lost at sea/killed in battle/otherwise missing, the correct course of action is immediately to propose marriage. This may result in felicitous domestic bliss, or the lady spontaneously committing suicide.

Cocaine's for horses but it ain't for men.

Black socks never get dirty.

It's difficult to catch an excited sort of beetle you've mistaken for a match.

A shark in the garden pond will cure your wife of reading Dennis Wheatley novels.

Seemingly blameless activities like hunting for black hares, catching birds, or sitting side by side in assorted forms of agricultural transport can result in pregnancy.

Bosses are bastards.

You can't break the faith of a Tolpuddle man.

[*] Where a "folk song" is defined as something I heard someone sing in a place notionally called a folk club.

In other news, thanks to my lovely parents and the lovely DaveT (who renovated it for me), I'm now the proud owner of an English concertina. Yay :)

Now all I have to do is learn to play it, of course.

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Hope you're as musical with it as your other auditory exploits!

Hello, Mystery Guest. Er, my auditory exploits ?

I was sworn to secrecy, remember :)

N

Ah. The initial helped there :)

I've eaten your cake, by the way ;p

Heh, I only remembered as I was putting my helmet on.. next time perhaps, hope it was tasty!

What makes said concertina english?

(I was originally going to ask what made it differ from an accordian, but google images answered that one).

There are two breeds of concertina - Anglo and English. The basic difference is that on an Anglo you get a different note depending on whether you're pushing or pulling the bellows; on an English you get the same note in both directions.

I don't know why they're called that, though.

Took, err, however many years, before I got to see the demonstration of clog dancing. How long are you intending to hide the concertina?

On the contrary, the first time you saw me clogging was the first time I had the opportunity.

I have no idea how long it'll take me to learn a new instrument from scratch.

Did I say *anything* about you learning it? And knowing how bad you are "before" will make the public demonstration all the more impressive when you do get there :)

Oh, you've missed out the classic:

Highly uncommon avians (even if flightless) should not be disposed of by throwing them over a cliff.

I'm not sure what you're referring to there - and I didn't hear such advice at the weekend, so I didn't miss it out.

Incidentally, only five of them were specific songs, the rest were general rules from several songs.

Any further gems of advice welcome.

It's a very long story. Fair warning.

Do you really want me to?

I dunno. Are Raries involved ?

Tha's the one.

Oh. I didn't know they were birds.

Besides, I think you've rather missed the point. That's a bad joke based on a pun from a song; I was after things which genuinely appeared in the lyrics of songs.

Wasn't so much missed as deliberately sidestepped...

It's difficult to catch an excited sort of beetle you've mistaken for a match.

This one is A.A. Milne, surely? Has someone written a folk tune to it?

Penny

Yup, well spotted, it's Alexander Beetle.

I think seriously claiming it as a folk song is pushing it, but someone has set it to music. And someone did sing it on Sunday night.

If you do RealAudio, there's a clip or a recording of it here (http://www.timmyabell.com/music/lyrics/ol/abeetle.htm).

Apparently not on this computer (I'm still in Hong Kong, and it belongs to the Polytechnic University here, so I'd better not meddle with it!). But thanks for trying, and the link to the lyrics alone was very nostalgic for me.

Penny

Oo, oo! An excuse to post Milne quotes! Here's my favourite hum; enjoy!

I had a penny,
A bright new penny,
I took my penny
To the market square.
I wanted a rabbit,
A little brown rabbit,
And I looked for a rabbit
'Most everywhere.

For I went to the stall where they sold sweet lavender
("Only a penny for a bunch of lavender!").
"Have you got a rabbit, 'cos I don't want lavender?"
But they hadn't got a rabbit, not anywhere there.

I had a penny,
And I had another penny,
I took my pennies
To the market square.
I did want a rabbit,
A little baby rabbit,
And I looked for rabbits
'Most everywhere.

And I went to the stall where they sold fresh mackerel
("Now then! Tuppence for a fresh-caught mackerel!").
"Have you got a rabbit, 'cos I don't like mackerel?"
But they hadn't got a rabbit, not anywhere there.

I found a sixpence,
A little white sixpence.
I took it in my hand
To the market square.
I was buying my rabbit
I do like rabbits),
And I looked for my rabbit
'Most everywhere.

So I went to the stall where they sold fine saucepans
("Walk up, walk up, sixpence for a saucepan!").
"Could I have a rabbit, 'cos we've got two saucepans?"
But they hadn't got a rabbit, not anywhere there.

I had nuffin',
No, I hadn't got nuffin',
So I didn't go down
To the market square;
But I walked on the common,
The old-gold common...
And I saw little rabbits
'Most everywhere!

So I'm sorry for the people who sell fine saucepans,
I'm sorry for the people who sell fresh mackerel,
I'm sorry for the people who sell sweet lavender,
'Cos they haven't got a rabbit, not anywhere there!

Rushes always grow green (unless it's the version where jam is jam and always plum and evermore shall be so)

If a man has a fiddle in his knapsack he has wicked designs on any female wandering along the same grassy bank and playing tunes on fiddles ia simply a euphemism

And you can't take that on the train

Any male in a border ballad is a mass murderer

Here's another list of things I learnt this year

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Demon-stration?

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Real Audio

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