Lovers watch their backs

[venta]

The other day, someone accused me of being a millennial. I wasn't even eating avocado toast at the time.

I'm not a millennial, I'm the tail-end fo Generation X. And pleased about that in a way that is mildly ridiculous, given that the year I was born in wasn't exactly under my control.

So what prompted someone - who both knows my age, and is a clear decade my junior - to call me a millennial?

Around eighteen months ago, ChrisC grew a beard. It's been long enough now that I've stopped noticing it. However, at social gatherings with friends we see less often, it's still commentworthy.

If people asked me whether I liked the beard, I'd consider that a reasonable question. (For the record, I don't actually have strong feelings either way about it. It's fine.)

But they don't. They ask questions like:

"Haven't you put a stop to that yet?"
"Are you letting him keep that beard?"
"Why don't you make him shave it off?"

My response to all of these is that it's his face, and his business. If he wants to grow a beard, it's basically nothing to do with me.

Now, if I really hated it, or thought it looked genuinely ridiculous, I'd tell him. And he might choose to take my opinions on his facial hair into consideration.

I'm sure if I said that ChrisC wouldn't let me cut my hair, or demanded that I shave my legs, people would think that was quite unreasonable. (For the record, he hasn't said any such thing.) The people to whom I was relating this had just been talking about overruling their partners' haircut choices. Apparently, in some circumstances it is quite accetpable to be dictatorial about a partner's personal appearance and grooming choices.

And I don't think it's acceptable. At all.

And apparently that makes me a millennial.

I do like avocado toast, though.

Comments

[beckyc]

Wow, that’s a bit creepy and controlling.

I strongly agree, and I’m not a millennial either (I’m a Xennial, the microgeneration born from 77-83, prone to aspects of both generations)

My husband usually has a medium stubble beard.
I sometimes get asked if I like it, sometimes they even ask if I can still kiss him (a bit nosy but whatevs), but as for letting him, he’s a grown man who can make his own choices about how he looks, there’s no letting him about it.

I get many more comments about me being so supportive for “letting him” play computer games, sadly often from people who “aren’t allowed”/have strong restrictions. It’s not quite the same thing, but again, it shows that some types of controlling behaviour seem to be socially accepted (even if they shouldn’t be)

[vicarage]

Beards are often a cause of ribbing, but marvellous to have, sorry you can't be a bearded lady...

Millenials seem to like beards more, as the numbers are much higher in the young, or is that hipsters, I get confused.

[motodraconis]

That is really creepy, "letting him keep that beard" "why don't you make him shave it off." What!?

Calling you a millennial seems to be a veiled insult, and having taught millennials at uni, I am personally quite sick of people being rude about them. The poor sods I taught worked bloody hard, studying and holding down jobs, having ghastly long and expensive commutes, and getting hideous debt from their student loans before they'd even started work. I do get really annoyed every time I see a sniffy opinion piece sneering at them.

I'm Gen X too as it happens, and I would never dictate a partner's beard or hair, whatever their gender!