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While passing briefly through Hounslow station last week I encountered some poorly-rendered but delightfully weird graffiti.



Ballpoint pen graffiti on railway map
More ballpoint pen graffiti on railway map

For those of you without the patience/imagination/eyesight to puzzle over them, the first one reads "HOW MANY NON DESCRIPTS IN YOUR HELL?"

The next reads "HOW CAN THE POPE DO ANYTHING HE HASN'T GOT A ROD CALLED ARTEMIS?"

I find that a little disappointing. The question about non-descripts in Hell seemed strangely arresting, and now we've clearly veered off into faintly deranged territory.

Sadly, the third photo is even less legible, and I couldn't fit the whole of the sentence into one picture. My phone has old-fashioned zoom, ie one has to walk backwards. I was mildly perturbed that I was about to go backwards off the edge of the platform.

However, from Kew Bridge to well past Waterloo it read "SORCERY CAN'T EXIST ACCORDING TO THE LYING PAEDOPHILE CALLED PRINCE PHILLIP WHY THEN DID HE MARRY THE WITCH CALLED FIGURATIVELY ARTEMIS?"

Why indeed.
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