venta: (Default)
venta ([personal profile] venta) wrote2012-12-03 02:35 pm
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Damn right it's better than yours

Dear Beko, please do not install extra dimensions in your fridges.

Some time today, the 4-pint bottle of milk which my company put in the shared office fridge split. Then all the milk slowly dribbled out onto the door shelf, the bottom of the fridge, and ultimately the floor.

Fair enough, this is annoying, but these things happen. So I mopped up all the spilt milk, washed the detachable bits of the fridge, washed the rest down. Then I closed the door... and there was milk all over the floor again. I should have remembered from last time this happened. Mop, move door, mop, move door, rinse, repeat, scream.

Somewhere inside the fridge door is a magical extra compartment which, in these circumstances, fills up with milk. We can't find it, we can't find a way in to it. There are no obvious apertures or seams or cracks through which the milk travels. We can determine that the door seal is full of milk and mop it out, but moving the door causes it to fill up again in a mysterious and unknowable way. It's very probably squamous (and if it isn't now, it will be in a few weeks' time).

After an entertaining 15 minutes of door-moving and re-mopping, I think I've got it all out. Let's hope so.

[identity profile] valkyriekaren.livejournal.com 2012-12-03 02:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Eldritch. Possibly oblong. *nods*

[identity profile] motodraconis.livejournal.com 2012-12-03 03:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Scaly milk? I'm confused, and ever so slightly repulsed.

[identity profile] venta.livejournal.com 2012-12-03 03:47 pm (UTC)(link)
No, the milk is non-scaley and perfectly suitable for tea. I'm using "squamous" in the manner of HP Lovecraft readers everywhere to mean "unpleasant in an undescribable way".

It's actually only very recently that I realised that squamous was a real word; it's rather disappointing that it doesn't mean what I think it means.

[identity profile] undyingking.livejournal.com 2012-12-04 09:05 am (UTC)(link)
I had that experience with 'non-Euclidian'. My imagined Loveccraftian version of it was much more exciting than the real one.

[identity profile] bateleur.livejournal.com 2012-12-03 04:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard kitchen floor?

[identity profile] venta.livejournal.com 2012-12-03 04:27 pm (UTC)(link)
It certainly does. Free kudo with banana flavour shakes!

[identity profile] erming.livejournal.com 2012-12-03 04:39 pm (UTC)(link)
We had a fridge related annoyance at work - one manufacturer changed the dimensions of the 1 pint plastic containers of milk we had in the office. This meant they no longer fitted upright on the top shelf of the door of the fridge.