And then I'll kiss your salty lips

[venta]

Yesterday evening I was sitting on the sea-front at Ramsgate, eating fish and chips. They were pretty good fish and chips, actually. However, the menu bewildered me...



The "sundries" section. Right there. Curry sauce? Fair enough. Mushy peas? Well, I'd rather not but I hear some people like that kind of thing. Pea fritter? You what? I mean, I understand the concept, but since when has that been a thing that you get in a chippy? Pickled onion, fine. Pickled egg, ditto (whatever dmh tells you). Pickled... wally?

I'm also faintly alarmed that the curry sauce isn't vegetarian. What's it got in it? I'd have assumed the basic list of flour, water, oil, curry powder and radioactive waste (with local variations to taste).

Oh, and a roll and butter? Not bloody likely. I'm in a chip shop. The sort where you sit down at a formica-topped table and drink tea that dissolves the enamel off your teeth. If I want bread and butter with my meal, I want sliced bread, pre-buttered for me (or possibly even pre-marged) and cut diagonally. I'm not saying that's better, I'm saying that that's what happens in chip shops. This roll nonsense is just messing with the natural order of things[*].

When I first moved to Oxford, I was horrified to discover that the Carfax Chippy - an otherwise decent emporium - didn't serve scraps. And indeed were completely confused when I ordered them (initially as to what it was I wanted, and latterly as to why I wanted such things). Scraps are the drips of batter which have fallen off the fish - basically little blobs of deep-fried batter. No, of course they didn't serve them. They threw them away when they cleared the oil out. They also didn't serve baby's heads.

So, what are your expectations of a good chip shop? Do you expect pea fritters? Would you order a pickled wally? Am I the only person south of Scotch Corner who likes scraps? What can't you get where you now live, that was a stand-by where you grew up?

As a side note, my parents (if not paying proper attention) will inadvertently order "a fish and six". This is, apparently, a fish with 6d-worth of chips. Whether they get a sensible answer depends largely on the age of the person serving. Is anyone else familiar with this?

(A wally, for those who want to know, is a gherkin. I asked on the way out.)

[*] Chip butties are an exception. I'm talking about the bread served with your fish and chips in a sit-down eatery. But even for a chip butty I don't want a roll, I want a flat, soft bread bun or bap. Which may have been what they meant. See also: bread, confusing regional terminology for.

Comments

[uitlander]

A 'pickled wally' is a gherkin, or at least that's what my family thinks it means on a chip shop menu. The family is mostly London-based with a distant branch known as 'The Ramsgate Mob'.

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

I'd order a pickled wally without knowing what it was, just on principle.

My only real requirement for a chip shop is that the chips must be good. Bonus points if they serve rock, because nothing beats rock. 8-)

[beckyc.livejournal.com]

I'm more worried about the mineral water not being vegetarian.

(Unless, of course, the mineral water went through limestone and they were having a one-upping game with Silk soya milk who claim they use no animal derivatives and then say they use natural limestone for their calcium)

[ringbark.livejournal.com]

What on God's earth is a pea fritter, whether (v) or not?

By the way, Scots don't speak the same language as the rest of us.
"Two fish suppers and a can of juice please".
Apparently, "X supper" translates to "X and chips", while "juice" means "unspecified soft drink".

In your universe, does a chip buttie need to have butter, marge, lard, mayo or similar, or is it OK with just bread and chips

[mr-tom.livejournal.com]

Ooh, now I wants a chippy tea.

[huskyteer.livejournal.com]

I would certainly expect pea fritters. Also pineapple fritters.

(I've never ordered one. I just expect it.)

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Where's Wally? There he is!

Curry sauce will have beef stock or something in it. Or possibly animal-extracted MSG.

[lnr]

Love scraps and very much south of SC. They call 'em "bits" in Mirfield apparently mind which took a bit of getting used to when my parents moved there.

Never heard of a pickled wally - could it be slang for a gherkin? - pretty odd thing to get in a chippy. Never sure pickles belong there at all to be honest, but do admit to loving pickled eggs.

Would rather have mushy peas than radioactive curry sauce (or gravy as some places also offer) but also bemused at it not being marked veggie. Maybe it is and they just didn't mark it? See also the roll and butter.

I expect sliced-bread (and a pot of tea!) in a sit-down chippy but rolls (of the soft sort you describe) in a takeaway. And yes, almost certainly marge not butter.

Not familiar with fish-and-six. When we were younger our typical order in our local would be "four times and a fish" (to feed five of us) and that doesn't seem to work most places either.

[ceb.livejournal.com]

So, what are your expectations of a good chip shop?

GRAVY. And oh my goodness do they look at you funny down here if you order it.

[zenithed.livejournal.com]

I was looked at with disgust when I asked for curry sauce in a posh chip shop in Muswell Hill. I took my business elsewhere.

One thing I'd like to see more often are scallops, i.e. battered slices of potato. Had them once in Skegness and they were great.

[paste.livejournal.com]

i want pineapple fritters, and potato fritters. and hot dogs (which are maybe like american corn dogs? basically a battered sausage on a stick). and kumara chips. ah NZ. we order stuff differently too - everything comes wrapped in one big parcel (with occasional smaller bags inside separating some items) so you just list all the things you want then specify an amount of chips,sometimes scoops but usually a dollar value. as with fish & chips worldwide, they all taste better when you eat them at the beach.

[exspelunca.livejournal.com]

Lard? Yorkshire dripping's the way to go.

Btw, sheep's milk will freeze as Judy Bell (who founded Shepherd's Purse Cheese) started out selling sheep's milk to dairy allergic people who came from miles away and took a month's supply home to freeze.