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venta ([personal profile] venta) wrote2012-10-15 11:24 am
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And then I'll kiss your salty lips

Yesterday evening I was sitting on the sea-front at Ramsgate, eating fish and chips. They were pretty good fish and chips, actually. However, the menu bewildered me...

menu showing sundries available

The "sundries" section. Right there. Curry sauce? Fair enough. Mushy peas? Well, I'd rather not but I hear some people like that kind of thing. Pea fritter? You what? I mean, I understand the concept, but since when has that been a thing that you get in a chippy? Pickled onion, fine. Pickled egg, ditto (whatever [livejournal.com profile] dmh tells you). Pickled... wally?

I'm also faintly alarmed that the curry sauce isn't vegetarian. What's it got in it? I'd have assumed the basic list of flour, water, oil, curry powder and radioactive waste (with local variations to taste).

Oh, and a roll and butter? Not bloody likely. I'm in a chip shop. The sort where you sit down at a formica-topped table and drink tea that dissolves the enamel off your teeth. If I want bread and butter with my meal, I want sliced bread, pre-buttered for me (or possibly even pre-marged) and cut diagonally. I'm not saying that's better, I'm saying that that's what happens in chip shops. This roll nonsense is just messing with the natural order of things[*].

When I first moved to Oxford, I was horrified to discover that the Carfax Chippy - an otherwise decent emporium - didn't serve scraps. And indeed were completely confused when I ordered them (initially as to what it was I wanted, and latterly as to why I wanted such things). Scraps are the drips of batter which have fallen off the fish - basically little blobs of deep-fried batter. No, of course they didn't serve them. They threw them away when they cleared the oil out. They also didn't serve baby's heads.

So, what are your expectations of a good chip shop? Do you expect pea fritters? Would you order a pickled wally? Am I the only person south of Scotch Corner who likes scraps? What can't you get where you now live, that was a stand-by where you grew up?

As a side note, my parents (if not paying proper attention) will inadvertently order "a fish and six". This is, apparently, a fish with 6d-worth of chips. Whether they get a sensible answer depends largely on the age of the person serving. Is anyone else familiar with this?

(A wally, for those who want to know, is a gherkin. I asked on the way out.)

[*] Chip butties are an exception. I'm talking about the bread served with your fish and chips in a sit-down eatery. But even for a chip butty I don't want a roll, I want a flat, soft bread bun or bap. Which may have been what they meant. See also: bread, confusing regional terminology for.

[identity profile] paste.livejournal.com 2012-10-16 01:22 pm (UTC)(link)
i want pineapple fritters, and potato fritters. and hot dogs (which are maybe like american corn dogs? basically a battered sausage on a stick). and kumara chips. ah NZ. we order stuff differently too - everything comes wrapped in one big parcel (with occasional smaller bags inside separating some items) so you just list all the things you want then specify an amount of chips,sometimes scoops but usually a dollar value. as with fish & chips worldwide, they all taste better when you eat them at the beach.

[identity profile] venta.livejournal.com 2012-10-16 01:33 pm (UTC)(link)
There is a branch of Hell Pizza (which I think started in Wellington) near us in West London. The pizzas are pretty good - but I was so excited when I suddenly spotted kumara chips on the menu one week :)

I'd expect a British chippy to do you a battered sausage, but not on a stick. Which is a shame, because everything is better onna stick.

[identity profile] paste.livejournal.com 2012-10-16 01:53 pm (UTC)(link)
hell pizza! they did start in welly, there was only one shop on a windy hill far from my house, thank god they did deliveries. it's a massive chain now though, with branches everywhere, and has gotten less good as a result. i'd still go eat their kumara chips though!

battered sausages aren't quite the same - the usual hot dog batter is thicker and smoother and somehow more delicious.

dammit, now i want chips!

[identity profile] venta.livejournal.com 2012-10-16 01:56 pm (UTC)(link)
on a windy hill

IS there any other kind in Wellington!?

[identity profile] paste.livejournal.com 2012-10-16 03:43 pm (UTC)(link)
ha! windy, meaning hill that winds? but i guess your comment still applies.

[identity profile] venta.livejournal.com 2012-10-16 03:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Actually, I just meant that in my memories Wellington is always windy, wherever you're standing. Though the hills are quite wind-y too :)