And then I'll kiss your salty lips

[venta]

Yesterday evening I was sitting on the sea-front at Ramsgate, eating fish and chips. They were pretty good fish and chips, actually. However, the menu bewildered me...



The "sundries" section. Right there. Curry sauce? Fair enough. Mushy peas? Well, I'd rather not but I hear some people like that kind of thing. Pea fritter? You what? I mean, I understand the concept, but since when has that been a thing that you get in a chippy? Pickled onion, fine. Pickled egg, ditto (whatever dmh tells you). Pickled... wally?

I'm also faintly alarmed that the curry sauce isn't vegetarian. What's it got in it? I'd have assumed the basic list of flour, water, oil, curry powder and radioactive waste (with local variations to taste).

Oh, and a roll and butter? Not bloody likely. I'm in a chip shop. The sort where you sit down at a formica-topped table and drink tea that dissolves the enamel off your teeth. If I want bread and butter with my meal, I want sliced bread, pre-buttered for me (or possibly even pre-marged) and cut diagonally. I'm not saying that's better, I'm saying that that's what happens in chip shops. This roll nonsense is just messing with the natural order of things[*].

When I first moved to Oxford, I was horrified to discover that the Carfax Chippy - an otherwise decent emporium - didn't serve scraps. And indeed were completely confused when I ordered them (initially as to what it was I wanted, and latterly as to why I wanted such things). Scraps are the drips of batter which have fallen off the fish - basically little blobs of deep-fried batter. No, of course they didn't serve them. They threw them away when they cleared the oil out. They also didn't serve baby's heads.

So, what are your expectations of a good chip shop? Do you expect pea fritters? Would you order a pickled wally? Am I the only person south of Scotch Corner who likes scraps? What can't you get where you now live, that was a stand-by where you grew up?

As a side note, my parents (if not paying proper attention) will inadvertently order "a fish and six". This is, apparently, a fish with 6d-worth of chips. Whether they get a sensible answer depends largely on the age of the person serving. Is anyone else familiar with this?

(A wally, for those who want to know, is a gherkin. I asked on the way out.)

[*] Chip butties are an exception. I'm talking about the bread served with your fish and chips in a sit-down eatery. But even for a chip butty I don't want a roll, I want a flat, soft bread bun or bap. Which may have been what they meant. See also: bread, confusing regional terminology for.

Comments

[ringbark.livejournal.com]

What on God's earth is a pea fritter, whether (v) or not?

By the way, Scots don't speak the same language as the rest of us.
"Two fish suppers and a can of juice please".
Apparently, "X supper" translates to "X and chips", while "juice" means "unspecified soft drink".

In your universe, does a chip buttie need to have butter, marge, lard, mayo or similar, or is it OK with just bread and chips

[venta.livejournal.com]

I assume a pea fritter is mashed up peas, battered, and fried. I didn't order one to find out because I don't really like peas.

I am familiar with "fish supper" parlance, but wouldn't use it.

In your universe, does a chip buttie need to have butter, marge, lard, mayo or similar, or is it OK with just bread and chips

It is absolutely not OK with just bread and chips. I mean, you can put chips inside bread if you want, but it won't be a chip butty. Butter or marge. I'm not familiar with lard in there (though it doesn't sound appealing). Mayo is some kind of continental wrong-headed craziness.

[ringbark.livejournal.com]

Well, in my experience and also in the book "Lern Yerself Scouse" it clearly is OK for chip buttie to have no accompanying grease. This of course assumes that the chips themselves are greasy and not those poncy shoestring things.
I agree fully about mayo, but some southerners do not.
What happens if I ask about chips and gravy? It's a delicacy unknown in many southern parts, even including Birmingham.

[venta.livejournal.com]

I don't have strong opinions on chips and gravy. Except that hearing anyone say it makes me start singing Beer and Sex and Chips and Gravy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxkoSbbGxB8), and that rarely ends well. (Warning: contains rude words and generalised offensiveness.)

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

Mayo on chips is fine if they are french fries or those chunky bistro-style chips. It isn't acceptable on chipshop chips, which should clearly be eaten with copious quantities of salt and vinegar.

[lanfykins.livejournal.com]

...you don't have fish suppers down south? What sort of crazy barbarian country is this?! O.o

(It's been eighteen years, but I'm still always disappointed when I look at a menu and it doesn't contain battered black pudding. Even though I couldn't eat it now anyway.)

[ringbark.livejournal.com]

We have 'em, but use different words.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Well come on, come on, it's no good leavling it like that! What different words, and whereabouts?

This was exactly what I was asking about :)

[ringbark.livejournal.com]

I mean that instead of ordering a fish supper, I say fish and chips.
And instead of ordering two fish suppers, I say fish and chips twice.
(Wirral and parts of New Zealand)
On the other hand, we do have a "sausage dinner", which is a different animal. It's a polysterene box containing two sausages, chips, gravy and mushy peas. Well, that's a large sausage dinner. A medium sausage dinner has just one sausage. (Maybe a small sausage dinner has none at all?)
Note that a sausage dinner must be eaten sitting at a table or you will make one hell of a mess.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Ah, for some reason I thought you were referring to battered black pudding when you said you had different words :)

I'm not sure I'm familiar with sausage dinners. I think with all the supper/dinner terminology it ought to be a vague term to mean "a main meal involving fish/sausage/whatever" rather than something with a very specific meaning. I think I expected a fish supper to involve something other than just fish/chips (like a side dish or a sauce), though I wasn't sure what. Possibly it varies from shop to shop.

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

I thought you were referring to battered black pudding when you said you had different words

We do have a different word for that too, but it's not printable :-)

[venta.livejournal.com]

Ah, a cursive word :)

[venta.livejournal.com]

I noticed the other day (sadly, after I'd paid up and was leaving) that my local butcher sells black pudding burgers. They've got to be worth a try :)

[lnr]

Ours sells pork-and-black-pudding sausage - I bought a couple for Mike to try the other day (but was being a bit too weight-conscious for full-fat sausages at that moment so didn't try them myself). I think I may need to go buy more.

Battered and friend black pud is nice - unless I've got them wrong way round in my memory I think the haggis was even nicer - which surprised me a little as I'm a *huge* black pud fan.

[hoiho.livejournal.com]

In certain parts of Scotland (the western central belt, mainly), "ginger" will be used instead of "juice", and again means "unspecified soft drink". (As an aside, I gather that in Atlanta, Georgia, all soft drinks, of whatever type are referred to as "Coke").

On the East Coast of SCotland, the chippy oddity is their love of "salt'n'soss" on their fried food. "Soss" being some sort of bastard amalgam of brown sauce and vinegar.