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I've got the secret
Continuing the theme[*] of pointless curiosity about other people's lives, today I would like to know what other people have on their keyrings. Do you have a "keyring", ie some sort of novelty object attached for the aesthetic wossnames? Do you have useful things which aren't keys? If your bunch o' keys is massively bulky, how do you carry it about?
My keys live in the front, right pocket of my trousers. At least, they usually do. Today I'm wearing a pair of rather elderly green cords, and there is a large hole in the pocket so my keys are very confusingly in my laptop bag.
To remain pocketable, the bunch of keys has to be reasonably small so it contains only the bare essentials: at present, it seems I consider these to be the four keys required to get into my flat, the key to my bike D-lock, a 4GB USB memory stick and a chunky bottle opener.
Yes, four keys to get into my flat. One for the door to the main building, one for the main lock on my front door. Plus two more keys for the two separate deadlocks on my front door. The flat's previous owners liked their door locks. (They really did - in order to open the back door there is one Yale lock, one mortice lock, one security chain and two bolts.)
The memory stick is of no particular function, it's just a useful sort of thing to have around. It's phsyically tiny, and was a Christmas present from ChrisC. Attaching it to my keys means I invariably have it with me.
The bottle opener is for crown cap bottles, and advertises Cantrell's Ginger Ale. (A cursory google to see if Cantrell's still exists turns up a suggestion that my bottle-opener is in fact cast iron. Wikipedia also tells me that Dr Thomas Cantrell claimed to have invented ginger ale.) I picked up the bottle-opener when we were clearing my great-aunt's house out in Sheffield seven or eight years ago. It lives on my keys for much the same reasons as a memory stick; it's always there, and you never know when you might want one.
What've you got on yours?
[*] You are almost all wrong about mayonnaise, y'know.
My keys live in the front, right pocket of my trousers. At least, they usually do. Today I'm wearing a pair of rather elderly green cords, and there is a large hole in the pocket so my keys are very confusingly in my laptop bag.
To remain pocketable, the bunch of keys has to be reasonably small so it contains only the bare essentials: at present, it seems I consider these to be the four keys required to get into my flat, the key to my bike D-lock, a 4GB USB memory stick and a chunky bottle opener.
Yes, four keys to get into my flat. One for the door to the main building, one for the main lock on my front door. Plus two more keys for the two separate deadlocks on my front door. The flat's previous owners liked their door locks. (They really did - in order to open the back door there is one Yale lock, one mortice lock, one security chain and two bolts.)
The memory stick is of no particular function, it's just a useful sort of thing to have around. It's phsyically tiny, and was a Christmas present from ChrisC. Attaching it to my keys means I invariably have it with me.
The bottle opener is for crown cap bottles, and advertises Cantrell's Ginger Ale. (A cursory google to see if Cantrell's still exists turns up a suggestion that my bottle-opener is in fact cast iron. Wikipedia also tells me that Dr Thomas Cantrell claimed to have invented ginger ale.) I picked up the bottle-opener when we were clearing my great-aunt's house out in Sheffield seven or eight years ago. It lives on my keys for much the same reasons as a memory stick; it's always there, and you never know when you might want one.
What've you got on yours?
[*] You are almost all wrong about mayonnaise, y'know.

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House keys and car keys are on their own rings which travel separately.
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My car keys used to live on my key ring when I had a car. These days ChrisC and I share one set of keys for one car - it's fairly common that we leave the flat, get downstairs, get out, and both stand optimistically by the car looking at each other.
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Keys to my flat
Keys to Simon's flat
A green carabiner, very worn
A boring flat white plastic keyfob with the flat number on courtesy of my landlord
A red metal screwcap pill box, used for carrying my medication for overnight stays/emergencies and confusing nightclub bouncers
A little metal rod that unscrews to reveal a miniature screwdriver for fixing glasses and other small fiddly objects.
It used to have a bottle opener in the shape of an animal on, but I never got round to putting it back on after the BBC confiscated it at an R4 recording.
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OTOH my satchel contains a tube of suncream, modelling ballons, a leatherman, lemsip and all sorts of lens filter adapters, amongst other things.
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I do have to carry a bag on the way to work (to put the laptop and my lunch in), and it does tend to silt up with miscellaneous useful things. And pieces of paper. Always with the paper.
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Keys:
front door
-back door
-2x bike lock
-office door
-big scary microscope room door
Not keys:
-magnetic widget to get into nice little microscope room
-compass that used to have a thermometer on too but now it's fallen off
-little wooden owl I got free with something
-black cat on a broomstick that I got in Japan and keep mostly because it adds something grippier than metal to the keyring when my hands are cold and it's raining.
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My office door key is no longer on my keyring but instead attached to my work ID card holder using an elastic hair band - so I can carry it around with me at work even when I don't have pockets, and open the door without having to remove the ID card. When not in the office it goes in my left coat pocket.
On top of the fridge by the backdoor at home live two separate keys on separate rings. One is for the shed and is one of those with a tag and just reads "shed". The other one for the back door and has a heart shaped bit of laminated pink note from my old slimming world consulant as a fob. There's a front door key on another ring on the shelf by the front door, that one has a bright yellow Cambridge Cycle City fob. Since you need a key to open either door I think it's important to keep one near the door (but out of sight) for fire safety reasons. There's a bunch of keys which work the patio doors on the shelves near the patio doors too now I think of it
Finally my bedside table drawer has another bunch which has my spare bike lock keys and assorted ones for small padlocks and spare bike locks and so on - I don't think that one has a fob at all. I should probably take mum's keys off my main keyring and keep them in here too most of the time.
As a student I used to just keep room key and wicket-gate key on a ribbon round my neck most of the time - I'd love to go back to that minimalism!
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I know the flat I had in my post-grad year required three separate keys to get into or (worryingly) to get out of.
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Front door key lives on its own ring attached to the ring that the rest are on, so I can identify it in the dark if the bulb for te proximity light in our porch blows.
Dull, but you did ask :P
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I hadn't thought of putting keys on separate rings for easy ID-ing; my two main keys are feelably different shapes so easy to pick out even in the dark.
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* front door key
* back door key
* shed key
* gate key
* work i-button key
* magic contactless 'key' for another department
* bike key
* Mum & Dad's house key
* Swiss Army knife (so that's my bottle-opener, screwdrivers, scissors, knife, & tweezers)
* tiny pen
* nail clippers
* blood-donor keyring with my blood type on it (AB+, since you ask)
* Nectar Card mini-card
* Tesco Clubcard mini-card
* Library card mini-card
* One of those pound-coin-shaped things for swimming pool lockers, trolleys, etc
(I thought I had a USB drive on there, but I don't. Hmm. I probably took it off to use it & forgot to put it back on.)
The advantage of this mammoth bundle is that it's nearly impossible to lose/drop it without noticing immediately. The disadvantage is that it spoils the "line" of my trousers (like I care) & occasionally wears holes in poor-quality pockets. :-}
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I can see mammothity makes keys less losable, but doesn't it jab you in the leg every time you sit down? Even with my (relatively) bijou bundle I occasionally sit down, then leap up with a yelp having taken a particularly pointy edge to the groin...
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Then: a clubcard, two library cards (mine and
These are all joined together by a chunky main ring and a smaller WeightWatchers one (which is the easiest-to-use keyring I've ever had), and decorated with an enamelled Eeyore which I've had since I worked for OccHealth in 2000 and everyone got to choose a Disney keyring for their departmental keys. (This one, in fact. I much prefer this, but probably won't get around to replacing it.)
I am able to 'fold' them into a relatively easy shape to carry around in my jeans pocket and sit comfortably, although usually they live in a coat pocket or in my bag. I used to carry a bottle opener but my good one got nobbled at a party and never given back, and my back-up bent, and I need one rarely enough now that I haven't replaced it.
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I have a housekey keyring with front, back, patio and garage keys on it. Also, a key for my mum's house, and one for my Dad's. Stuff on it is a tiny led torch (battery probably needs changing) and a barcode for the shop account at Bookers.
I have a Shop Keys keyring with the two shop front door keys, the stockroom key and the cashbox key on it. The keyring has a solid metal d20 on a chain attached to it, because.
The car key is on a fob with remote locking/unlocking capability and is not attached to anything else.
I have a bunch of keys for my grandmother's flat which live in my handbag for when we need to use her place as a base for D's hospital visits, since there is a spare parking space in the garage and a spare room in the flat. This has a basic green plastic oval fob.
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The keyring has a solid metal d20 on a chain attached to it, because.
Of course!
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Door key for the flat (which opens front+back door), 3 keys for the front/back door at work, my old wedding ring, a keyfob to set/unset the alarm at work and a LED torch.
I used to carry no end of keys, attachments etc on my key ring but there came a point where I stripped my daily carry down to the bear minimum for reasons I can't remember.
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-My house keys - 4 - including gate key, bike shed key, two door keys.
-Simon's house keys - 3 - although one of them is a mystery
-Parent's house - 1
-Work - 2 keys for one of the three offices I work for. Should probably give these back as am hardly ever there any
more.
-Bike lock key - for a bike (and lock!) that was stolen. I keep it in the hope that I might come across my bike locked with
the same lock just lying around. Even though they must had had to destroy the lock to steal the bike
-Bike lock key - for current bike lock
-Two bottle openers - one shaped like a fish that doesn't work properly, one shaped like a hippo that does. Both from
Christmas crackers
- A small silver plastic duck
- A yellow plastic duck that quacks (hilarious when in court trying to sit there quietly, accidentally knocking your bag
and causing a quack)
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I did have a separate car key and wheel-lock key with funky chunky thing (a weird looking bit of wood in an unidentifable cone-esque shape), but these are now sadly obsolete and sitting pointlessly on the living room shelf.
This prompts me to think I should lock the three cabinet keys in my main cabinet at work, and ditch the obsolete keys, bringing me down to just four. Perhaps I'll then need a snazzy keyring to go with.
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See! I'm, like, practically a life-improvement course in LJ form!
:)
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The other set has six sub rings hung off a central ring. I'm sure some of those aren't necessary...
Main ring has house keys - front, back, and patio doors plus garage door. Also contains a key I don't recognise but looks like a suitcase type key.
Next ring has my parents' back door and garage keys.
Then there's Tesco and Bookers tags, followed by a small key I have no idea about.
Three interlinked sub keyrings contain the shop stockroom key, a metal d20, and a LED torch.
A key I have no clue about other than it might be for a padlock I haven't seen in ages and a slightly bent D-ring type key that I don't recall ever seeing before follow before the final sub keyring which contains a fairly flimsy bottle opener that works in a pinch, though the one on the Leatherman is usually more accessible and far more effective.
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I have three keys - two of which I have no idea what they are for (but I'm reluctant to remove them) and the last is my front door.
The novelty key ring bit is Cloud Strife (of Final Fantasy VII fame) and the more useful bit is my blood donor key ring which gives my blood type as the common but useful O+.
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Heavy brass marine caribiner for attaching to belt
Short length of nylon webbing from that to keyring
3 house keys (one for each door -- in theory I could get in using any one of them)
Uni office key
Car key
Bike lock key
Tiny pen-knife (1" blade; it's a Spyderco Bug)
16 GB Pen drive
Mysterious old iron bottle opener (has Sunderland engraved on one side and Villa on the other!)
Short chain with a mini sketchpad on the end, including a mini pencil
It's all starting to get a bit bulky though. I may need to pare down. Again.
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One of those metal thingies that clips it to my beltloop.
One keyring attached to that with:
bicycle D-lock, lockable case for Airsoft guns, New Museums Site side entrance, parents' house, parents' garage, one mystery key, a second keyring with:
own front door (x2), front door at Nerdvana where I used to live and still visit periodically; and nine keys opening four doors, one shed, one sort of outdoor storage room, and one side gate belonging to three inamorata.
Conclusion: poly people have way too many keys.
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Mind you, it also defines the term as "a woman who loves or is loved", which seems a strangely multipurpose definition!
I look forward to the poly community lobbying for NFC doorlocks ;)