Blushing brides and cosmonauts don't meet their bitter end

[venta]

Earlier today, I had an email from a hotel who thought I might be tempted by their super-special Valentine's package[*]. Among various epic meals and chocolatey promises, it includes "rose petals on the bed".

To which my reaction was "you what"? Isn't that, like, a really bad idea? Won't they get crushed and stain the bedding? Won't they get stuck to all parties involved? Won't they wrinkle up awkwardly and work themselves into odd corners of the sheets and make it really uncomfortable? Not to mention that they'll probably make me and any other hayfever sufferers sneeze.

Am I just hopelessly unromantic and/or practical? Am I missing an important point? Or is this really just one of those ideas that is far better in theory than practice?

[*] I wasn't. But that's not important right now.

Comments

[lanfykins.livejournal.com]

Rose petals go on the top cover. They therefore look pretty and make the room smell nice, and then you shake them off before you actually go to bed.

Tip: shake those sheets really well to get rid of any spiders that have hitched a lift aboard the roses.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Hmm.... having to shake out my bedding and check my bed for spiders doesn't immediately say "hot romance" to me. Sounds more like something I'd expect when roughing it in the jungle...

[lanfykins.livejournal.com]

Well, I did quite like it apart from the eight-legged part. But then I like the smell of rose petals, and most roses don't contain that much pollen.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Actually, I do wonder if some of my sneezing is pyschosomatic, because I "know" that flower smell => pollen. Doesn't make it any nicer, though :)

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

If you start throwing out any Valentine-related behaviour that doesn't stand up to a rigourous cost-benefit analysis you won't be left with much!

(Although we do have something to celebrate on 14th this year... our cat's birthday!)

[venta.livejournal.com]

It wasn't the poor cost/benefit trade off. It was the fact they were trying to market something to me that just made me go "eeeugh".

Which admittedly a lot of Valentine stuff does do to me. But I just couldn't see that this would apeal to anyone...

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

You are dead behind the eyes.

But then I love all that hearts and flowers crap. I just never seem to inspire it.

[floralaetifica.livejournal.com]

I think rose petals on the bed mostly *signal* romance, rather than being especially sensuous or enjoyable in themselves. They fall into the category of 'generic special effort has been made'.

[venta.livejournal.com]

I also don't inspire it, but I think that's for the best, really :) On account of the pre-orbital death and such.

[venta.livejournal.com]

I suppose petals are a bit more subtle than a small plaquard ;)

[lathany.livejournal.com]

Although a plaquard might be easier to remove and have a lower risk of spiders.

[ewx.livejournal.com]

Pretend that it’s hot romance in an Indiana Jones film?

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

See, I'd love to have someone whisk me off for a romantic weekend, rose petals, champagne and all. Sadly I seem doomed to date deeply unromantic people. I think I buy flowers for myself and for my partners more than they buy them for me.

[davefish.livejournal.com]

What, like one of those blue English Heritage ones?

"On this very bed in 1998 davefish ineptly tried to seduce someone with grass-clippings instead of rose petals"

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

I'm pressing the imaginary "like" button SO DAMN HARD.

(I think at my time of life I'd settle for grass clippings and a Lion bar, at least it would mean someone had made an effort!)

[pseudomonas.livejournal.com]

Real planning would be getting a hot water bottle in the bed beforehand.

[venta.livejournal.com]

I should state that I'm not anti-romance. It's just that my definition of romance is both very broad (it doesn't have to involve flowers) and very narrow (it has to be something that appeals to me, preferably something peculiar to me and the partner in question). One of the most romantic things someone has ever done for me involved a pile of second-hand CD singles, which I'm sure isn't officially in The Book of Love.

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

Scattered on the bed? Sounds a bit painful. Although I guess they wouldn't break like vinyl ones would.