Read more books. Educate! Educate!

[venta]

On the way to work this morning (which, incidentally, took flippin' ages on account of inexplicably horrendous traffic round Caversham Heights[*]) I followed a van belonging to a company called Bright & Fresh.

From the writing on the back of the van, I infer that they will come to your house and clean your carpets, upholstery, etc - and if it's not the most thorough clean you've ever seen, you can have your money back.

The scary part was the freephone number they offered for their "Customer's Education Line". Now, I assume that really it's just a means of supplying you with (probably pre-recorded) information about their services. But... customer education ?

Ladies and gentlemen, Big Brother is not only watching you; he's willing to pop round and shampoo your rugs.

[*] Doesn't Caversham Heights sound terribly glamorous and cool and LA ? It's a bit of West North Reading.

Comments

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's like Total Recall, or Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - if you call the number it will clean out your brain of unwanted thoughts and memories?

[qatsi.livejournal.com]

It's actually North Reading, though the people who live there would have you believe that Caversham is not a part of Reading at all.

[venta.livejournal.com]

<looks at map>

Oh yes, you're right. I was just working on the basis that I approach from Oxford (in the East) and hit Caversham Heights, so it must be West.

Looking at a map it's merely on the West of that sort of Northerly bobble of Reading.

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

Caversham Heights may not be as exotic as it sounds, but the Winnersh Triangle is somewhere that people get lost in and never return.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Indeed. Years ago, there'd been an "incident" on the Paddington line, so Reading station staff were directing people to get on trains to Waterloo. Without mentioning that the stopping train to Waterlook does not get to London in comparable time to the fast Paddington trains.

So there were about a million of us squashed into old-style slam-door coaches on a train which was delayed and going very slowly to somewhere we didn't really want to go. A million people's breathing fogged the windows up, making the outside invisible as we stop-started along the track.

After half an hour of apparently getting nowhere, a city-suit wiped the steam from the window and peered out. "Oh my god," he screamed, seeming genuinely confused and horrified. "We're in the Winnersh Triangle! We'll never be seen again."

I guess it must come as quite a surprise if you don't know there's a station of that name :)

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

Maybe also worrying in these troubled economic times, they seem to only have one customer.

[elethiomel.livejournal.com]

Is the punctuation sic?

Who is the customer they feel the need to educate, and how do you know if you are she?

[venta.livejournal.com]

The punctuation was very sick indeed. I did wonder whether I were the customer, but in an attempt to stop everything I post here involving a whinge about grammar, I didn't mention it :)

[venta.livejournal.com]

Is one permitted these days to split infinitives while complaining about apostrophes ?

;)

[venta.livejournal.com]

Why did I write East in that comment ? West, clearly.

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

As long as one does it less / fewer than previously.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

*cackles like a hyena*
I grew up not far from Winnersh Triangle :)

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure about that. Education is a singular as well as mass noun. Each customer experiences one education, there isn't one between them. So in the singular it is "customer's education", and in the plural would be "customers' educations" if "educations" is allowable.

As to whether a "line" should be described by singular or plural: one might prefer "complaints line" to "complaint line", but I don't think either is incorrect.