These words should never be spoken

[venta]

OK, as promised last week following the lyrics quiz: more on (She Don't Use) Jelly.

Here's the version of it which I know:

Drugstore - (She Don't Use) Jelly

If you fancy joining in a silly game, then listen to it before reading on.

One of the reasons I like this song is because - once you've heard the first verse and worked out the format of the lyrics - you spend all your time trying to work out what the pay-off word at the end of the verse will be. Or I do, anyway.

Here's the lyrics:

I know a guy who
Goes to shows
He makes me coffee
He makes me toast
He don't use butter
He don't use cheese
He don't use jelly
Or any of these
He uses vaseline

I know a guy who
Goes to shows
But when he's at home and
Blows his nose
He don't use tissues
Or his sleeves
He don't use napkins
Or any of these
He uses magazines

I know a girl who
Reminds me of Cher
She's always changing
The colour of her hair
She don't use nothing
From The store
She Likes to keep her hair / Real orange
She uses tangerines

The trouble is, of course, that I now know how each verse ends. So if this song needs anything, I think it's more verses.

Here's my first attempt:

I know a girl/ she likes to get real high.
She's always jumping / right to the sky.
She don't use a pogo stick / she don't use springs.
She don't use any / of those jumping things.
She uses...

Last word left as an exercise for the comment-poster :)

You are invited to post your own verses here. Scansion and rhyming seem pretty optional, so long as you can vaguely make it fit the tune. I recommend leaving out the last word and waiting for others to post their suggestions of how they think you intended your verse to end.

Comments

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

I know a guy who
Likes to spread
Oily substances
On his bread
He don't use butter
He don't use lard
He thinks that they're
Much too hard
He uses...

[venta.livejournal.com]

Phew! I thought I was going to be left to play this game by myself (which isn't fun, as it's hard to not tell yourself what the last word is!)

I'm assuming you've not gone for Vaseline again, so my guess is:

Ga-a-a-asoline!

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

Hmm, that's not actually what I had in mind, it seems a little dangerous as a sandwich ingredient...

Here's another one though which might be a bit easier (especially now):

I know a girl who
Drives a car
It transports her
Extremely far
She don't use diesel
Or a fuel cell
She thinks that these'll
Make her exhaust smell
She uses...

[venta.livejournal.com]

For the earlier one: O-o-o-o-valtine ?

I only really thought of gasoline because it was ChrisC's (incorrect) suggestion for what my abovementioned jumping girl used for preference :)

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

That's probably near enough, although really it was meant to be "Ma-a-a-a-rgarine!"

[venta.livejournal.com]

D'oh! Can't believe I didn't think of that. Maybe because it was too plausible :)

[phlebas.livejournal.com]

ma-a-a-argarine!

I know a girl who
said "let them eat cake"
they didn't execute her
with a rake
They didn't use axes
or a sword
when they sent her
to the Lord
they used a...

[venta.livejournal.com]

*splutter*

That's brilliant :)

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

good one!

[pm215]

Certainly 'tangerine' is a little easier to find rhymes for than 'orange' :-)

[venta.livejournal.com]

Well, if you want the challenge...

:)

[jiggery-pokery.livejournal.com]

The answer you want is probably (highlight) tra-a-a-a-mpoline, but I prefer the answer ta-a-a-a-rtrazine.

I know a guy who
loves his fellow man
like he loves his tuna,
straight from a can.
He don't eat organs
He don't eat limbs
He don't eat any
unprocessed things
He uses...

(Edited for scansion only.)

Clue: (highlight) two words.

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070723/ ?

[jiggery-pokery.livejournal.com]

Ohhhhhhhhhhh yes!

[venta.livejournal.com]

Bloomin''eck, that was clever.

I only got it because undyingking did the thinking for me :)

[undyingking.livejournal.com]

Heh, I should have disguised it with a tinyurl...

[mothsmoonflower.livejournal.com]

ummmm from much earlier - tra-a-amp-oline?

I know a girl who
hates the snows
Can't bear the feeling
on her elbows
She don't use Goretex
or a cagoule
She says those coverings
are way uncool
She uses ....

[(Anonymous)]

Garbardine?

[jiggery-pokery.livejournal.com]

I was thinking crinoline, but your answer is better.

[(Anonymous)]

Sadly, because of what it says about me, the first verse with its mention of Vaseline, instantly recalled "Dinah, Dinah"(non-rugby fans go home now).